Category: Spirituality (Page 18 of 19)

Just another day in the paradox of life, left swirling around in dismay between night and day, and the time spent wondering if any second away from living was worth it at all. Sometimes one can feel as if life has him on a treadmill, just running in place and the harder he pushes the more he realizes that he just will go nowhere until he stops running. Hell, even if in the stopping he gets thrown back a few feet, at least it is movement in some direction.

To serve so many masters in one day…absurd in the undertaking and fruitless in the effort. One cannot fathom the solitude of a day like this, the absolute insanity of it all. Striving to succeed where there appears to be no success in the offing, working to seek balance on a poorly balanced fulcrum, realizing that there are not enough hours in this day and not enough sympathetic ears to hear your plight. In such solitude one finds himself, either in joyful adoration of the moments he spends following his passion, or in quiet desperation of realizing that he simply is not.

To have the vision of passion stolen from you in a moment’s serene passing, barely noticeable to the thief yet oddly painful to the victim, one can forget to scream so silently as to not let the thief steal even that moment of emotion. To be so true to oneself as to let the thief feel the brunt of the loss, to steal back just one iota of respect from those so quick to take it from you is but a second pleasure to the realization that what was taken from you was never yours to begin with. In the lesson you hope to reduce the strain, and somehow the effort is but strain itself.

To those who would attest some ownership over me, take heed you own nothing, as I am all of nothing. To those who would insanely lay claim to a soul completely lost yet searching for a way to be found, be still in the moment you realize you have but grasped at air. To those who would shun me as a bastard stepchild, be cautioned that I may be shunned but I will not shun, for love is not given to be received, but given to be given. Take time, understand your complexities, and be so simple as to reach out with an outstretched hand. You will not be empty, you will not be forlorn, your will be loved in the simplicity for which love is.

And simple it is.

All things allowed in their simplicity are the best of things. All efforts made in their most simple form are worthwhile. All times drawn down to their most simple of moments are beautiful in themselves. It is not about solving the complexities of life, it is about transforming such complexities to their simplest forms. In those moments of simplicity, one can find purpose, light, and love. Love is simple, love never is complex, it is the basics of life and the mystery of all that is. To be in love is to find the purity of simplicity. To feel such tinge of hatred burn at one’s heart is to cloud life with complexity; such difficulties can be remedied with the slightest touch of a lover’s hand, the soft kiss of your other, the sweet embrace of your child. It is simple, it is beautiful and it is glorious.

The night last was filled with venom, frustration at those little minds which tend to impact with their smallness. Struggle as I might to reduce their effect, there it was, the replay of the mind’s noise stuck on a constant loop of ignorance. It makes you question the veracity of your purpose in such employ, when you can readily see the effects of their stupidity and ignorance in such light as to be blinded by their simplicity.

It is so true that even reasonable men can be filled with such ego as to not put their best foot forward if it should enhance others whose feet may seem better suited for the task. The realities are much more difficult than their fantasies would entail, a meanness of no purpose stuck in the afterthought of idiocy. You can see the glow of the discovery of failure in their eyes long before they can, you implore their discretion as a better part of valor, but to no avail as the monster of greed and ego surrounds their thoughts in supreme imperfection.

One would easily dispel such idiocy if only it didn’t impact and cause the imminent suffering of many at the whims of the few. So today I resolve to stand idly by and watch the imminent destruction of a valid cause, of one that I felt such passion and desire. As if the inexperienced were to be a Roman Minerva and I her owl, the simple minded fool would believe it so, yet again I stand to watch the flood of failure rush and await the sounds to see who the fool can assign blame. The owl shall truly find a home, but not in the empty statues of her court, whose absence of experience can only be surmounted by the overabundance of wasted thought, such shallow statues are sure to be as hollow as the dust that made them.

So, peace begone, I shall walk this path in the intensity for which it deserves. No forward watching angel shall there be, no wistful lines of scouts to portray a dismal end. I shall succeed despite the failings of others, and in that shall my purpose be. Such a raging flood of failure shall not impede me in my quest, such sadness in the lies told by foolish lips shall not purge me from my course. You, kind sir, may see a fool across the way, but be comforted in the fact that I shall not call you on your foolishness, shall not rail against you in your misconceptions, but shall wait patiently for the end to fall where it may. You may think yourself Goliath to my David; patience shall be my stone and persistence my sling. You shall not hear the thud or taste the dirt, you shall only know it is I who stung you.

It is late this night, a long day has passed, each moment different than the next, each leaving a little less in the tank. It seems as if my mind is on empty, the thoughts of the day wearing it paper thin, and I am left to sit in a chair staring at the lightning as it reigns havoc over the evening sky.

My youngest daughter has left me to get her bath, her mom carrying out what should be the day’s final debate with my ever knowing child. The lightning grows worse, closer, the sound of the thunder draws near. It does not appear long before we are in the midst of the storm, which most likely will end my nights excursion into the free flow of words from heart to keyboard.

Yet this storm reminds me of something, as often nature does, of what causes action and purpose may be. I think of suffering, that ever present Teacher, and how nature can teach us all things. In man’s decision to be separate of nature, he can’t help but to forget that which nature will teach. We attempt with all of our might to end suffering, treating it as some parasite on our Being, and look for ways outside ourselves to end it. We buy things, stuff ourselves full of food, become glued to the television, seek for removal of reality by means of drugs, all the while never postponing suffering. In fact, most of the time our escapes magnify the effects of the lesson.

Suffering has become my friend. I learn from it, never trying to hide it, embrace it when it visits, and treat it with the respect it deserves. I never try to dampen its arrival, but rather I open my arms to it. I simply just wait to see what the lesson will be.

It is in the cause of suffering that we will learn, and in that learning we become closer to that which ceases all suffering. In the face of physical pain, there are times when we simply have no choice but to dampen its effects, but we should certainly make every effort to embrace the pain and to allow it to lengthen our thresholds. Make all efforts to not complain about this pain, not to embrace it as part of you, but rather observe it as a dispassionate bystander who is watching someone else having this experience.

In the cause of mental or emotional pain, understand what it is that is causing this pain. In a relationship breakup, is it the other person who is making you feel this pain, or is it the identification with the relationship that you have lost that is bringing on the anguish? In the case where your partner has inflicted some pain on you, do you identify so much with the loss that you must relive it over and over again? Is that loss really the cause of the pain or is the pain the cause of the loss? Find the source of such pain, the real source, and find a key to happiness. Do not identify with the pain, do not relish in it, do not look for it, and do not let it own you. Simply understand its source and let it be, and like a snake ready to strike shy away from it less it become a part of you in the most uncomfortable way possible. Remember, if you do not own the object, you cannot own its loss, and therefore you cannot experience any pain at the loss of it.

Another bolt cascades from the darkened sky. Nature is ridding itself of something, embracing the destructive force of lightening in order to do so. Suffering is like these bolts, the clap of thunder, the thrash of heavy winds, the beating of such a torrential downpour. Yet at the end of this moment of suffering in nature the air is cleaned, the ground thirst quenched, the weakest branches purged. Suffering off all beings results in such a cleaning and nourishing, one must embrace it as such to benefit from it. The tree does not hide from the wind, the ground from the rain, the air from the lightning, it embraces it as part of the moment, as the cleansing it is.

There are times when I seek the end of suffering or look to diminish its effects, but those times are lessening, becoming less frequent. I look forward to the moment when I can embrace those times with the same joy that I embrace the sunrise. One must realize that for every downhill race there is an uphill climb, that there is a base for every summit reached. One we can accept the suffering and learn from it, we will truly achieve the happiness that such suffering was meant to foster.

Peace.

This morning before I left for a meeting in upstate New York, I had some time to enjoy nature and seek its wisdom. One can always find solace and wisdom among the things of God, and as you become centered in this place you find God within you. Times like this help bring clarity, peace and perception back to Being, and help shed light on the insanity of unconsciousness that claims the soul regularly.

As the bright red sun peeked through clouds slightly above the distant horizon, I had the opportunity to feel the presence of God in the stillness. I just sat there, enjoying the very slight breeze in my face, the warmth on my skin, and the feeling of connectivity that this stillness offers. It is in moments like this that Being is confirmed, life’s promise renewed, and focus brought back on to purpose rather than pursuit.

I love the sunrise, it is hard to find a more still and quite time on Earth. It is so still, so quiet, that yes, the break of dawn is a sound deafening to the soul.

I watched the birds fly and listened intently not only to the songs they offered but the silence that allowed them to be. I wondered what those birds thought of us as they circled high above in all areas of our home. I wondered if they could even relate to our insanity, to our reluctance of purpose in pursuit of things, and I realized at that point that the bird is surely smarter in most moments than we are.

I felt the asphalt turn to grass (I walk barefoot regularly), and wondered if grass could think how it would judge those of us who walked upon it. I wondered if the soles of our shoes protected the grass more than we believe they protect us. I came to realize that in its not being able to judge us as anything, the grass was truly more aware of its purpose than we are of ours.

I came to rest upon a large tree, one of several that I saw as I made my way through the mountains of upstate New York. I noticed how the leaves pointed toward the sun, partially curled by the dryness of the ground where it was destined to set its roots. I realized that the tree never asks for more than it needs, nor uses more than God gives it, and yet this tree will most likely outlive me and possibly my children. It bears no signs of stress in its thirst, no signs of frustration at not having a more beautiful place on which to rest, and yet there it is as strong as intended serving a purpose not beyond itself.

It was quite evident at that moment that we are all connected to these Beings, to the birds, to the grass, to the trees, to all life enjoying its unique existence on this home. I was reminded of an old native American saying, “there is no tree so foolish as to have its branches fighting among themselves.” A tree is so aware of its purpose that it serves that intelligence without the struggle of things that don’t run in line with that purpose. It has a time to sprout, a time to grow, and a time to die. In the short time between its birth and death, it [I]serves[/I] a purpose, perhaps invisible to most things of thought, but there nonetheless.

All beings in this universe serve the same purpose. And what separates humans on this planet from all other beings is the diversion from purpose to pursuit, from intelligence to stupidity, from awareness to unconsciousness. And while you may be judging me and this prose, a vast world of possibilities escapes your grasp in the moment you waste not seeking purpose inside your soul.

To find your purpose, just stop thinking about it. What inspires you? What does your Being do [I]when you do not think[/I] about being? When you are no longer seeking you can only hope but to find. When you are no longer thinking you can only be in stillness. When you are in stillness you can feel the presence of God.

In the very near future, a great change will take place on this earth. Out of the fire will rise a new Earth and a new Spirituality. The meek shall inherit the Earth, and war and violence will cease to exist. We will endure great suffering, and some will see the end to their existence while others will see a change in theirs. People will no longer seek a collective identity, or any identity, nor will they judge others. They will be as the grass, the tree, and the bird, serving an intelligence far greater than their own, in a way that offers light to all. The journey begins the day you become aware of that which makes you blind.

“Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find…”

Peace.

To be within nature, that which spawned us all into this existence we know as “human”, that which gave life to this world, that IS life in this world, now that is to find Heaven on Earth as surely as it is to find stars in the universe. To see the nature man has since forgotten, that vestige of life he once called his “Mother”, to feel the offering of such on my skin, the coolness of it all on my being, to be present in nature is to be in the midst of God itself.

To walk among these things is to realize that nature honors us much more than we honor it. It provides for us, sees to our sanity, provides us entertainment, and gives us that unique understanding of the I before the things of form cloud the self. We attempt to harness its power, to control its might, and pretend so arrogantly that we are in some kind of control, yet more often than not nature can end our arrogance with but a shrug of itself. We are truly but a flea on nature, an obscure parasite that is here at its behest, and can leave much the same. We cannot and are not in control of our destiny, and the sooner we end our arrogance that somehow we are the dominant in this relationship the sooner we will be at peace with all that is.

We would end the life of a natural thing without pause, as if somehow it is less than us. This is because we fail to see that what makes that living being what it is is the same that makes us what we are. It is not in the intellect of the being that offers its superiority, nor is it in strength of form, nor can it be found in cause or purpose; for nothing in nature is superior to another, all things serve a purpose united in the moment it exists that cannot be altered except by unconsciousness. It can even be said that things altered in unconsciousness serve a purpose, either to awake that which is unconscious or to offer a step toward that purpose. Still, man seems to be the only being in nature who is not aware of its purpose.

In proof of purpose, I offer you a bird I observed this afternoon. Some might say a bird’s purpose is to have offspring, to continue its species. Others might say that the bird’s purpose is to live and die. I, however, observed this golden finch’s purpose as it was singing. It was quite obvious that that bird’s purpose was to sing. It gave no thought to nest building at that moment. It gave no thought to laying an egg, or hatching a chick; no – its only thought was of singing. It seemed to give all of its energy and commitment to the song. What a beautiful song it was, for the finch gave itself completely to the song without a moment’s concern of what was to happen or what was to be, all things at that moment was as it must be..

I heard a story once about a dog understanding purpose and presence better than any man. If you walk into a room, a dog reacts with love and affection galore. Leave and walk back in five minutes later, the dog reacts the same. Why? Because it cares little for the past and nothing of the future, it just knows what is at the present moment. The second part of the dog metaphor has to do with reaction and the past. If you beat a dog, really abuse it, and 10 years later walk into a room with the dog, it very likely will bite you. The difference between man in his unawareness (lack of presence) and the dog is that the dog didn’t spend those 10 years thinking about biting you. He went about his life being a dog, until that very moment when he saw you again. That dog also probably didn’t react afterward either.

Yet as humans we carry around a bunch of excess baggage. We hold grudges, struggle with the insanity of our lives, and often suffer mightily because of it. We listen repetitively to the noise of thought in our head, choosing the insanity of thought over the sanity of presence. We fear that which we cannot understand, even personifying our Creator as if it were a man so that we could understand it better. We look outwardly for a savior, a man who will give us salvation because we cannot understand that in our making we have salvation inwardly – inside us all.

We have lost our individuality, our ability to work things out ourselves. We strive to interfere. We must save each of us from ourselves, passing laws that serve a purpose of futility. Seat belt laws are a great example. We have to interfere so much that we make it unlawful NOT to wear a seat belt while driving! This lack of awareness does not take into consideration that all things will be as they must be, whether or not the seat belt is worn! Nothing that is to happen can be stopped, no matter what law we pass in another arrogant attempt to enforce our will over that which will be.

Concern for one’s protection and the protection of the environment cannot be taken lightly given the attitude and activity of those who are more concerned with financials than with issues of a more natural concern. Money has taken over our consciousness it would seem, a scary proposition at best considering that dependence on anything like money will surely doom a society to failure.

In order to counter an extreme, one must work in an extreme even if his views are more moderate. Issues [I]always[/I] meet in the middle, so the counter of two extremes would be moderation. One the one hand you have conservatives who would rape our environment to ensure our dependence on the drug of crude oil is met, and on the other hands you have liberals who would do nearly anything to ensure our environment is protected. While I tend to slant toward the environment, I understand that our dependence on materialism cannot be changed overnight, and that in order to ween ourselves from the teat of oil we must first find a distaste for the teat itself. That distaste is price. Rather, however, to get a distaste for oil, conservatives devise a distaste for nature that houses it and for those who would protect that nature. Rather than understand that dependence on anything limited is both foolish and counterintuitive, they wish to increase the burden (and thereby the suffering) by raping our own environment to get their “fix”.

Simply, the time has come to change our attitudes. Rather than search for a short term solution under the guise of finding longer term ones (that was stated back in the 70’s only to have us find ourselves in the same dilemma 30 years later!), we should just step back from our dependence and revisit our needs. Make the solution LONG TERM, not the quick fix Americans have been searching for all their lives for all their ills. Are you fat? Take a pill. Are you skinny? Take a pill. Are you depressed? Take a pill. Are you happy? You must be taking pills. We look for the quick fix always before searching for the longer-term solution.

In that could very well be our downfall and undoing as a society. America stands to be the fastest flash in the societal pan ever. Why? Because we have gotten out of tune with ourselves faster than any other society in history. Our reliance on science has driven a wedge between us and our environment, and that reliance has caused us to lose touch with ourselves faster than any other civilization in history.

It stands to reason that this society, the “great American society”, is the most dependent one in history. From drugs to oil, we produce the least and demand the most. We are a gluttonous nation of immature beings, unable to wait, unable to listen, and unable to act in accordance with what makes sense in our hearts rather than in our egos.

So, at some point conventional thought must be challenged if it is going to change. We can no longer demand the most, but rather we must reduce our need, our dependence, on things we do not provide ourselves. We must reduce our need for all things oil. We must stand up to a Big Brother and his Friends who would see the pattern of dependency and immaturity continue. We have to change our ways and intentions individually in order to find a solution that benefits our children and our children’s children.

Our government, that Big Brother, changes when we change. It cannot help but be resistant, but when our consciousness changes, so does our government (that is, unless it is so far removed from us that we have lost it).

This starts with our homes, our environment. We must put our environment above all things, because without it we cannot live no matter what our economics or lifestyles may be. A benefit to being environmentally aware is that it brings you more in tune with nature, and more out of tune with the dependence you have on things. When you actually love waterways more than your car, you want to see those waterways clean. When you love forests more than gas you actually want to see trees survive. And when you love the planet more than you love money, you actually want to see glaciers survive, and see if man’s actions have created the crisis we face. If not, it is natural, and all things will be as they are intended to.

That’s the thing with nature, all things are as they should be. It’s when you start screwing with it that you can no longer be sure. I simply view global warming, the high incidents of violent storms in our nation, and earthquakes as nature trying to rid itself of the flea of humanity that has taken one too many bites out of its ass. So, while we are busy trying to prove which ideological theorem is correct, nature continues scratching while we continue biting. One thing is for certain, we will NEVER beat nature at it’s own game, no matter how arrogant and intelligent we think we are.

Oh, and that reminds me, when we say “intelligent life”, we are certainly not talking about humans. All other forms of life are much more intelligent that we are. Soon we will go the way of the dinosaur, the analogy there being that the dinosaurs got too big for Earth, and so are we. Imagine the audacity of building a city under sea level next to a vast waterway and then being shocked when a devastating flood occurs. This is only surmounted by the arrogance of rebuilding it.

Time – you ask yourself where it went when you don’t have much of it left, and you ask for it to go faster when it seems like you have plenty to spare.It is something certain yet uncertain, plentiful yet sparse, gentle yet unforgiving.For all that time is not, it certainly is a teacher of all things.

When our time is over, and we move on to whatever plane is our destiny, we leave little gifts behind.These gifts offer those we leave with tiny pleasures, tiny pains, and little insights into the world that was.We have a name for these little treasures, these gifts not extended yet always given, and we call them memories.Our lives can be summed up in the word memory.We either leave them behind or we don’t, and often time the choice is ours.Memories are some of the greatest gifts we can offer our loved ones, for when we no longer can reach out to comfort them, the memories we leave behind do it for us.They are, in essence, the “us” no longer alive but in the form we call memory.

For some of us it is hard to give the gift of ourselves that inspires thought long after we leave.We struggle to understand our value to a world that seems unforgiving, a world in which value is placed all-too-often on things that don’t matter.We sometimes can only see our value in the cars we drive, the toys we play with, or the way we look.When those things go we often are left to feel without value, without soul; because the things we cherished were without value and without soul.

For others it is easy to understand the gifts we give because they always get them in return.The laugh of a toddler as he wipes his nose on your pant leg, the chuckle of a preschooler as she pulls on your cheeks to get you to make a silly face, or the smile of your teenager as she tries to ignore your stupid jokes.It is easy to see the gift of love you give your spouse as she kisses you, because you can certainly see the gifts she offers without even trying.

It is hard to go from one of these extremes to the other.It is hard to forgive those who you feel wronged you in life.It is hard mostly to forgive yourself for both allowing yourself not only to hurt the ones you love but also from being hurt.You have to, though.You have to offer yourself the peace you need in order to share in peace with others.You have to extend yourself love if you wish to love others.You simply have to feel yourself worthy in order to find others worthy.

I am turning a corner in my life.I have found a unique spirituality, one that was always with me but one I finally understand.I feel love, in all it’s grandeur and all of it’s uniqueness.I feel so many things it is as if my heart is about to burst.I feel…

Wow.

I look back on the asshole that was me and wonder who that person was.I remember anger unabated when I met my wife.I remember hating the world, skeptical to the core of a world that never seemed to cut me many breaks.I remember seeing the world through glasses distorted by anger, hatred and selfishness.I can’t remember that person, I can’t feel what he felt, I can’t see what he saw, and I can’t be who he was.I can only hope to have one day get better than the one before it.I can only keep not expecting, but just allowing my life to change.I can’t ignore my anger, I can just learn to accept it for what it is – a memory of a time I can never forget.In accepting my past, in accepting the things that have happened to me, I accept who I am and fully understand that the dark side of me is only one side, and it need not own who I am.

I am letting go…

And I can feel the past slipping into a corner of my being.I can feel it becoming a part of me but not me.I can turn away from anger and grasp onto love.I can feel good about myself while loving my life.I can be what I was intended to be.

…and letting God.

I can feel His presence not like anything I ever thought it would be.I can see Him in the sunlight, in the moonlight, in the stars, in the grass, in everything around me.I can see Him in my children, in my wife, in my past and in my present.What’s else, I can see Him in the gaps.I see Him between the stars, between the blades of grass, between the sun and the earth.I can see Him in the ocean, and in those little bubbles that form when wave meets sand on the shoreline.I can see Him all around me in what is, and more miraculously, in what is not.

I can’t see Him as the angry God of my Christian roots. I can’t see Him flailing away at human weakness, just in human blindness. Simply, God is, isn’t and always will be.

It leaves little to human consciousness, this matter of religion. It is black and white, theoretically spawned from Beings far greater than our own, unable to be questioned or challenged, far fetched to those who simply cannot believe.

In this much God Himself has given man something far greater than the Word, or far less depending on your point of view. Man is inquisitive, both reviled and revered in a thirst for knowledge about where he has been prior to life and where he will go when life ceases to be. It is simply a cause for celebration, or a cause for contempt, again depending on your point of view.

To follow certain historical thoughts on the matter of kinship to God, it is important to do so with an open mind and heart; for bias in either direction will certainly leave the philosophical point askew. In this society leaves little room, as one must have some preference upon birth; for traditions must be upheld, laws adhered to, faith emboldened on the very fabric of our existence. This faith, however, has very little fabric of it’s own, and can easily be left in tatters when approached with an open mind and heart. So this is where we begin.

It is true, the youngest among us remain perfect, as newborns carry none of the fantastical human traits that make us less so. They are neither Christian nor Jew, Gentile nor pagan, Hindu nor Buddhist. They simply are human, perfect in their innocence, perfect in their form, and perfect in their faith; for they have no faith, yet they have nothing but faith.

Newborns have perfect faith in as much as they have none except in what is to be expected. They expect nourishment from their mothers, solace from their fathers, and structure from their families. They have faith it will come, and look toward each other with a perfect unbiased humanity as innocent as it is profound.

Then we allow adults to ruin the image of perfection. Installed tradition, contempt, and new kinds of faith are taught from the beginning of our lives. We become, by the very nature of our societal structure, imperfect.