Category: Spirituality (Page 13 of 19)

I can only know emptiness through the illusion of fullness.  Love through the illusion of fear.  Eternity through the illusion of time.  I know who I AM through the illusion of that which I create myself to be.

Our existence, what we egoically call “our lives”, has the purpose of creation.  We create our circumstances, our loves, our hates, our dreams, our goals, our fortunes, our misdeeds, our SUFFERING continuously in this egoic cycle of creation.  Yet in every moment of this existence is the Observer, the Experiencer of this creative cycle which is the Source of who we are living and sharing in the experience itself.  To know this Self is to know your Source, and to know your Source is to know who I AM.  Once you know the I AM, the hold these illusions have over you begins to fade.  You need not believe in anything, you just need be.  You need not have anything, for there is nothing you don’t have.  Labels fade.  Judgments end.  Life becomes eternity.

I have seen these times in very short flashes in my life.  These moments are what have gotten me through the the nightmares I have create for myself and others.  These moments are what I strive to know…those glimpses of what I AM are powerful and full of joy.  They are not “bad”, they are perfect because they lead me to what I AM.  Such joy is known through the illusion of fear necessary to experience it.  This is what makes both perfect.

Enjoy both moments…seek not to judge them but allow them to be.  You will find peace.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

I am but a babe in the womb.  I do not know that I am supposed to have more than I have right now.  I do not  know that I am supposed to have more space to move.  I do not know that I should be demanding more than I need from this place where “I am”.

I have not yet learned that there is so much more than the creation going on around me.  No one has taught me yet that I should fear what is happening, or what may happen, or what may not happen.  I have not been instructed yet in the fine art of wanting more, of desiring something other than what I have now, or even of looking into the future for a quest I may never see.

At some point my fingers and toes are webbed.  I don’t even care, I just accept.  I do not know that they are supposed to be different in order to be “normal”.  In fact, I don’t even know how to see “normal” beyond what is right now.  My eyes are fused shut.  Yet, I see all that I need to see.  What could possibly be better than what is?

I can hear noises around me.  I react suddenly because they distort the silence of what is around me.  I have learned to love the silence although I did not know that until I first heard the noise.  Some in a much different universe will marvel at my reactions and do what they can to ensure I react over and over again.  I don’t complain, I just am.

I don’t seek to harvest this space I am in.  I have no need to harm others for my sustenance, it is being provided to me by my Creator.   Wealth is idiocy to me, for what would I do with more than I have now?  I do not destroy this womb in the search of wealth or more.  I need not pollute my body with ways of feeling better than I do now since that would be impossible.

My time here is short, but I have no concept of time.  I just exist in this moment and accept all that is provided for me.  I have no memories of where I was before I came to this place, and I don’t mind that convenience.  Not knowing where I have been nor caring where I am going allows me to enjoy where I am in joy.  I grow, and allow what has Created me to work through me.

I am perfect.  Then one day I am born and meet the world.  I forget my perfection and seek my imperfection.  My parents show me all of their imperfections in order to continue the cycle of being imperfect so that I can exist in this imperfect world.  I resist it all, strive for more and more, and question the very nature of my existence.  I graduate into being “human”, suffering mightily in the education and longing for that which I will never get.  Yet, somehow, I believe I am better and smarter than the babe in the womb although I am not sure how.  What now appears to suggest that I know so much more seems to prove that I know so much less.  With each act of war, with each selfish act of acquiring more than I need, with each passing moment in which I count the seconds of my life waiting for the next instead of living for the now I prove how much less I know.

For some, the journey will be and end in such condition.  For others, they will be born anew into the understanding of experience.  They will look at their aging fingers with joy.  They will appreciate their space without attachment.  They will see the billions of points of light coming from within the darkness we call “sky”.  They will live simply in order to allow the planet to be without harm.  They are the meek, and they shall inherit the earth.

Peace.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

The process of experience brings me to this moment.  I give thanks.

As we develop the relationship with our higher selves it becomes very clear that there are two very distinct “selves” that we interact with.  There is the “lower” self, characterized by ego and personified as Satan in the Bible and Mara in Buddhism, Kali in Hinduism, and Shaitan in Islam.  We are often drawn to belief that this lower self dwells outside of us, and tend to separate it from us in this personification.  There is also the “higher” self characterized by love, compassion, peace and harmony.  We have personified this higher self and called it “God” in most faiths.  We also attempt to separate the personification from our selves.

The mechanism for either attempts at separation for either higher or lower selves is a function of ego.  By understanding that we these are not separate from us, we can understand the power we have in creating the conditions through focus on either one.  Once we take the responsibility for our actions, we understand this power we have and can then begin creation anew in line with what we seek.

When we are “possessed” by Satan or any of these characters, we are actually possessed by our own egos through the embracing of the lower self.  We have embraced the lower self in this manner, so in effect it is not actually possessing us as we are possessing it.  Yet, the attraction consumes us and we enjoy the experience we are meant to have in this relationship.

When we embrace our “higher” self, the action is similar although opposite to when we embrace our lower selves.  We act in accordance with that higher self, and manifest love, compassion, peace and harmony.  This attraction consumes us and we enjoy the experience we are meant to have in this relationship.

It is important to note that, for reasons that will be explained, we should not be judging one as “bad” or “good”, “worse” or “better”.  They just are necessary to the experience that is our purpose and perfect because each allows the other to be.  We create the experience we wish to have through choice.  We can choose to be in line with our lower selves or higher selves at any time and in this way we are the Creator of all things.  We should also not judge which choice others have made for we can only create what is in ourselves, not what is in others.  It is also important to note that we should not be attached to the outcomes of either choice we make but rather enjoy the moments these experience provide.

From here on I would like to speak from a personal place that may not be universal for everyone.  It may be unique to me or not, but it is what I know through the sum of my experiences that have led to this moment.  As a result, I wish to speak for my quest to embrace that vision I have of higher self and to live in harmony of the vision.

I meditating on this, I came to realize that I once spent my life in rejection.  I rejected everything, from love to hate, from peace to violence, from truth to lies.  In this meditative review, it became quite apparent to me that when we come from a place of rejection, that is when we “reject” that which we do not wish to have, we actually attract it.  For me, in rejecting the lower self manifestations like cheating, lying, stealing, coveting, hating, and fighting  I am actually attracting them because they are part of my consciousness.  I give them power over me because they become my focus even if that focus is on the rejection of them.

An example of this would be what I was taught as a practicing Catholic.  I was taught about the rejection of Satan, that is rejection of the lower self.  In the practice of rejection, we reject those physical manifestations of the lower self which does, in effect, give those manifestations a power over us.  The rejection of them becomes the focus, so in effect they become the focus.  This practices gives Satan, or that personification of the lower self, power.  Otherwise, Satan does not exist.

Today, I don’t reject much of anything, let alone Satan.  I can see the folly of this, the giving of power to something that simply would not exist had we simply not given it power.  What I do is embrace that which I envision as my higher self.  So rather than rejecting lying, I embrace the truth.  Rather than rejecting violence, I embrace peace.  Rather than rejecting cheating, I embrace honesty.  In this way, I can focus on the higher self, and give it power.  You simply cannot give something power by rejecting its opposite, in fact you eliminate or reduce the power that which you are seeking has when you only focus on its opposite.  Proof of this resides in my present moment, where I don’t see lying, or evil, or bad in my life.  I only see love, harmony, and peace.  I know both, and have experienced both, so can speak from this perspective of experience without the supposition that many without such experience need to employ.  For that, I see all of these experiences as necessary and perfect.

Finally, I would like to offer a “real-world” experience that speaks to this point that I believe we can all relate to.  I will use an example from “Desperate Housewives” that I would like to say my wife forces me to watch (which is a joke of course).  Pardon me for sounding like one of the girls catching you up on “our shows”, but it does speak to this dynamic quite well.

On last week’s episode, Roy Bender is “forced” to ask Mrs. (Karen) McCluskey to marry him by Susan, as well as “forced” by his doctor to give up salt.  Roy is a little miffed at Susan, and basically says to her (and I will paraphrase here):

“You ruined everything.  We had a good thing going here and you ruined it.  It is like salt.  I never gave salt one moment’s thought until I was told I couldn’t have it.  Then I wanted it more than anything.  Today, I sat behind a blue-haired old lady who I have seen a million times without giving her a second thought.  Now all I can do is think about her because I am getting married and will never be able to have her.”  He then proceeds to plant a kiss on Susan’s lips as a testament to where his focus is.

How many of us have experienced this on some level?  I would imagine most if not all of us.  It isn’t so much that we want what we can’t have as much as it is we want where our focus is.  Not being able to have something, that is having to reject it, gives it our focus and a power over us that it didn’t have before this focus was drawn to it.  It is no different when we reject our lower selves.  Now for the rest of the story.

Later in the episode Susan is told by Karen that she has a shadow on her lung that may be cancerous.  Susan runs into Roy who has had a complete change of heart.  He explains (again paraphrasing) that he realized how much he loved her and that she was all he wanted.

This shows a shift in focus.  Rather than rejecting others because of his love for Karen, he embraced the love he had for her.  In this shifting of focus, the embracing of higher self (love) manifested love that is not possible in the practice of rejection.  It was all a matter embracing over rejecting, and the result was harmony.

I have done the same in embracing being a vegan.  I have not rejected meat and dairy, I have embraced a plant-based diet.  In this way I don’t desire meat or dairy at all, but love the food I eat and the choice I have made.  I don’t think about meat or dairy at all actually because my focus is on the choice I have made, not the choice I have rejected.  I often wonder if this same methodology employed in the addictions like drug use and smoking would make the change that much more likely to be.  I have used this method for many of my “addictions”, and know it works for me.

Again, I would suspect that we could all point to an experience that bears this out.  That is something that we could all meditate on at a personal level and expand on depending on which vision of self you choose to focus on.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

For in every moment of human suffering is found an opportunity to rise above it.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

I walk…I meditate…I meld into everything around me as if it is all One.

With the sun rising on my face and the snow crumbling under my feet I walk.  I experience the calmness of this moment through the change my feet are creating through the destruction of my step.  I can feel the silence through the sound of snow crunching with each moment.  I can sense the warmth of the sun through the chill of this winter’s morn.  It is all part of One, it is all perfect.

The path I took to these moments was clear.  Snow plows had cut a path to the walking/jogging paths adjacent to a local recreation park.  The walk was brisk but a bit icy until the moment it came to to take the paved walking paths.  Today, those paths were covered with anywhere from 4-6 inches of snow.

I had a choice here.  I could walk the path not traveled since the 28 inches of snow fell a few days ago, or I could walk a path cleared for me by others.  As I examined both choices, I realized that this was a metaphor for my life and the observations I have of the lives around me.  On one side there is the path relatively smooth, cleared by the hands of others that would require minimal effort to traverse, and on the other side a path whose very essence was an obstacle.  I could not know how deep the snow would get as each moment (step) passed, or if there would be ice to stumble on, or frankly what laid before me in the smoothness of the snow that spanned as far as I could see.  On one path there was the illusion of safety and security and on the other the illusion of danger in the unknown.  Yet both were illusions that would allow me to have the experience I wished to have.

As I took my first steps in the deep snow, I readily accepted the labor involved in as each step passed.  I barely noticed the cars as they sped by on the relatively clear roadway.  Their sound became part of the nature that surrounded me, barely detectable above the rush of wind through the trees I walked next to.  I could feel the sun beginning to crest over the horizon behind me, and it seemed that nature itself was taking her cue from the sun about to bid it “good morning”.  The birds came alive in song, the squirrels began their daily activities, and it seemed that even dogs began barking in unison with life around me.  It all was so perfect.

A feeling came over me at some point in this meditation.  I realized that acceptance was the key to this moment of joy.  I wondered about our society, this illusion of “we” created by our minds for the human need of companionship, acceptance and yes, confrontation.  Had I become a metaphor for this “society”?  Was I so attached to the ideal of comfort that the very idea of discomfort became bad?  Was I so attached to the desire for love that the very idea of being myself had become foreign to me?  Had I become so attached to my ideas of “right” and “wrong”, those very illusions created by me in order to judge myself and others, that I was unwilling to just let others “be” in who they were in their own dream?

Perhaps why I made the choice to walk the harder path at that moment.  I sought to be outside that which I considered “comfortable” or “safe”.  Perhaps I have the notion of “comfort” and “safe” so that I can have the experience I am having now, the moments of discomfort and insecurity.  Perhaps the reason I have either (or both) experience is so that I can realize that the experience itself is nothing more than an illusion, that I am no more ensured security in my bed at night than I am on a rickety bridge above a bottomless pit.  I am ensured nothing except the experience this life offers, for life itself is nothing more than a continual loop of varying experiences the purpose of which is to nurture the soul.

In a passing moment of fancy I wondered whether I would have made it to this moment had I chosen what seemed like the “safer” path.  I realize that thoughts like this are meaningless except in providing proof of their meaninglessness.  Yet, there is some validity to this thought if only to say that we must accept this moment as all we will ever have, as all that we are ever promised, and to enjoy the experience of this moment in all of its glory.  To this I open my heart to this moment, and give thanks to It for the experience it has created, and that this ability to dream beyond what I am.

Namaste

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

It can be such a weird reality sometimes.  I have to say that I find inspiration in some of the most unusual places and have come to realize that I just never know when or where such movement of spirit will happen.  I guess I have learned to just take it as it comes and to appreciate the movement as it occurs.  Such appreciation is as fleeting as the movement itself, and nothing becomes more apparent then the futility of grasping such outward signs of love then when I find myself in the contented state of my inspired mind.

I was fortunate to be reading a friend’s posting on relationships, and in understanding the recent loss she had one could easily see the outward expressions of pain and the resulting eagerness she had to overcome the suffering her attachment to another created.  The ego works in crazy ways in this instant, with the action of blaming the other for her own suffering followed by the ignoring of the reaction she was having to the suffering followed by the pretense of indifference at the loss itself.  This observation got me wondering, what is this idea we have created about relationships and how does this idea correspond to the human condition?  This rather boring discussion I have been having with myself asks to be shared with others for reasons why I have not discovered (or created) yet.

I begin looking at this dynamic not in the dualistic way most of us see things, but through the eyes of a Being who sees things in three “dimensions”.  Utilizing this triad, one can see clearly the advent of suffering in one’s life.  We create the conditions by which we suffer in our attachment to something that is not real.  We create everything in our lives, from conditions that allow love or hate, joy or sadness, misery or happiness.  I don’t see us actually creating misery for example, I see us as knowing misery and then creating the conditions by which we experience misery.  The same can be said of any physical or mental reaction we have in this existence.

Since we create these conditions, we are the Creator.  In my remembrance of “Who I am”, I see me as the Creator experiencing Himself by knowing what I am not.  In order to experience happiness, I must first know sadness.  In order to experience misery, I must first know joy.  In order to experience Heaven I must first know Hell.  In order to experience Enlightenment I must first know suffering.  Now, I remember this quite clearly and my spirit tells me this is truth each time I am inspired while expanding on this truth with the realization that none of this is “bad”.  Sadness is not bad, happiness is not good.  Both are equally important to the spiritual being having the most human of experiences, which is our purpose in the first place.  Without the necessary sadness I could not have the purpose of experiencing either the sadness or the joy.  Therefore, that sadness is just as good as the happiness to the spirit, regardless of what the ego tells me is real.

This may appear to be a very dualistic approach, but I can’t see it that way as I study it in the very three dimensional way my spirit exists.  In approaching this in a manner of spirit, I see that three distinct areas exist in any human experience the spirit may have.  The spirit has no choice but to live in this “world of three”, for without that world (what we call the universe), the spirit cannot experience itself.  The three areas are: Creator, Creation, Experience.  Father, Son, Holy Spirit.  That Which Gives Rise To , That Which is Risen, That Which Is.  These three things, in whichever way you wish to describe them, exists in order the the Creator to experience Itself (creation) through Experience.  Experience is what exists as a condition of creation.  While this is not a new approach or definition, it is the way my spirit speaks to me when I am willing and able to listen.

In this idea we have called “relationships” it is important to note that I am speaking specifically about the human relationships we call “love”, but are really nothing of the sort for most of us.  For most of us, “loving relationships” are creations of our mind.  Our minds create the condition of “love” and the relationship is born.  Now of course this is not real love, we attach conditions to the condition by which we must continue in this relationship.  Each of us must be faithful, kind, considerate, truthful, and whatever other conditions we may place on each other in order for the relationship to qualify as “loving”.  We know deep down somewhere that True Love does not place such conditions on anything, in fact the act of being in True Love eliminates any conditions and therefore is not a condition unto itself.  Rather, our creation of the condition we call a “loving relationship” is very egoic in nature, so is never very permanent even in its longest durations.  Imagine the peace and harmony you would feel if you could just relinquish your demands for the existence of conditions you have placed on the loving relationship your ego created.  Imagine the lack of suffering you would entertain not only upon yourself, but on the one you believe you love.

Impossible, I know.  You could not tolerate a cheating partner.  You could not tolerate lies.  You could not tolerate the other person being who they are at that moment if that person did not fit your mold of an ideal partner.  You create in your relationship the necessary quid pro quo that all egoic relationship have.  You need something from them in order to give something of yourself or else the result is suffering and the experience of misery for both of you.  The other person suffers for having to pretend, you suffer for having created the condition by which pretending is necessary.  The roles we play are the swords we live by, and those of us who live by the sword will surely die from it.  Only True Love can heal the wounds that sword will surely inflict one day.

One must understand that all of this is necessary and therefore is not bad.  It is PERFECT.  The real question here is whether or not this experience will lead you to a better understanding of why you had it in the first place and of who you are.  That is the purpose of experience and of this illusion we call reality, so that you may determine who you are and find harmony in the existence you can create with this higher vision of yourself.  Life is not a process of discovery, it is a process of creation, and as we create our existence each time around, we are allowed unique insight and access to the voice within that is our guide.  The question is, are we looking and are we willing to listen?

I guess the idea of loving relationships is one we all hate to have.  They are painful at times.  Most of them end up hurting us in the most profound ways.  Yet each of these are opportunities for exploration and further creation.  The cycle of creation never ends; it begins in Love, exists in Love, and destroys itself in Love so that it can create anew.  You have created the condition of love from your spirit (Pure Love) so that you can have this great experience we call “life”.  It is the very act of in-spiraton.  Embrace it all, enjoy each moment, and find that glimpse of awareness that is born from the experience itself.  It is your purpose, and to that end there can be no higher.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

So, I ask you all one very simple question. Is judging something real or an illusion an act of ego or an act of Divine knowledge?

Every time I hear “this is a dream” or “you are dreaming, man” or “be aware of the dream” something just does not sit right with me. It’s as if I have to force myself to believe this dream stuff. Perhaps “force” isn’t a good word, but it’s as if I am eating a rotten apple and pretending it tastes good. I am eating it because I want to know it, but something is telling me that what I am eating just isn’t right for me.

Here is what I know to this point. I am present in a creation in which I had no part in my memory. In this creation I have certain abilities to create. However, I have no abilities to change the media that the creation itself is present in. I can change the sculpture but I can’t change the marble no matter how much I try or believe I can. It remains marble. Storms rage. Tsunamis strike. Earthquakes rumble and galaxies collide. Suns burn out and die. Novas create regardless of how much I think none of it is real. To those that say the darkness cannot defeat the light I just need to point to the center of the Milky Way to prove otherwise. In a universe of relativity there will always need to be an opposite.

Yet, to some I am dreaming. Fine, I get it. But what do I do with the voice that tells me that in judging something as a “dream” I am creating it as a dream. What part of me is the creator in this situation? Is it me the Being knowing what I know in Absoluteness or is it me that man thinking what I know in ego? The voice inside me simply says, “Let it go. You cannot fathom the marble you are using, you only know the chisel and what you see. Allow it to be and focus on the sculpture.”

So that is where I am at.  So I turn to you, and ask simply and humbly, “is judging this existence as a dream an act of ego or and act of God?”

Peace.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Today I got to enjoy many moments of love.  Pure, unadulterated bliss, harmony, and peace.  I felt today that I was Love, and a joy permeated my body and soul in a way that made me feel as if I was one with the entire universe.  I could feel the creation inside me…life anew in the universe created in and all around me.

I meditated this morning before dawn, lying in bed absorbing all that was around and in me.  I felt light and completely content with where this moment had me…and then the next…and then the next.  Each moment passed me by like clouds on a breezy spring day.  I took them in and let them go.  I loved each of them and missed them not as they faded into what was to allow what is.

It is in such joy that I can see the experience of my life that brought me to the summit of this Mountain of Bliss.  At such heights, I can look around and survey all that was without needing to relive those moments.  This spot allows you to reflect without becoming the reflection, feel without being the feeling, see without the attachment to and creating what you see as what you are.

From this vantage point, I could see the storm brewing.  I could hear the screams, the smacks, the callous “I did this because I love you.”  I could hear a young boy crying for the pain to end.  I could see a lonely, dejected soul just trying to fit in.  I could see a mother beating her son into submission.  I could hear the prayers for it all to end.

I could see an adolescent boy wondering if he could stop the storms that raged in his mind.  I could feel his torment at the bruises and the welts forming on his body.  I could sense the agony of isolation and unending feeling of contempt he felt others had for him.  I could see him on his knees begging God to “let this cup pass from me” only to have His will be done.  I could see the look in her eyes as she struck out with leather, hand, fist, or any other object that could get the job done.

I could see the violence invade his soul, shutting down the once loving and kind boy as he grew into a violent and angry man.  I could see the damage left in his wake, the blood, the pain, the fear and the anger.  The river of anger never ceased in this man’s mind; it flowed freely and often flooded his body with contentment at having shared this pain with another in the most violent and angry of ways.

I could also see the tears form in the eyes of those this man loved.  He needed control.  He thirsted for power.  He was afraid of it all.  I could hear the sobs of those who wanted so desperately to love him.  I could see him abusing their desire for him, taking them into the depths of passion and then discarding them once the wave had subsided.  They would need him, but he would never need them.

I could see all of this from my summit.  A smile crested from my lips as tears streamed down my face.  In this moment of reflection I could see it all, and it all could see me.  The boy looked at me, and he smiled too.  “I will endure all of this for you”, he said.  “I will suffer so that you may live.  I will bear the brunt of all of this because I love you.  Forgive them for they know not what they do.”

I noticed the young man looking at me.  “I will endure this all for you”, he said.  “I will suffer in spite of myself, and will see such pain in the eyes of those I love so that you will always remember me.  I will bear the brunt of all that is because I have faith in you.  Please forgive me, for I know not what I do.”

I wanted so desperately to hug them and to tell them it would be alright.  “Don’t worry”, I shouted, “time will change the world and you will be loved and you will love!”  But they had vanished, gone with the moment as if like clouds on a breezy spring day.  Yet I knew they knew, for I lived in them and they, in turn, lived in me.  The hand that now caressed in love once shattered in anger.  The lips that speak love’s clear truth once spoke fear’s distorted lies.  The back that once bore the scars of a soul lost now supports the hugs of love and peace.  The arms that once pushed away everything now embrace it all.

In my mind I see that boy and I thank him.  He bore the worst of others to allow me to be.  He suffered so that I may know now.  He was not fragile or weak, he was my best teacher and my closest friend.  I love him and he loves me, for the first time we love ourselves.  Yes, little boy, I have forgiven them.

I see that man and I thank him.  He created the worst of himself for others and lived with the worst in himself so that I may see.  He knew such things so that I could experience what it is I am not.  He took the punches and gave the beatings so that the scars could remind me of him.  I see those scars each time I look in the mirror, and I smile.  I love him, and I forgive him, for I could not be me without him.

So today I am at the summit, enjoying the view from the mountaintop.  I had to climb to get here, and I now realize I am not done.  My path heads in a direction I cannot yet see.  That is not important, however, for right now I am here, and I am Love.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Alone we stand embroiled in the past; strangling our present into unconsciousness and heaving the beauty of now into the fire of the way things used to be.  So sad the sacrifice of pleasure for the feigned fantasy of what was as it surely keeps us from recognizing that what we wanted then is here with us now.  I beg your forgiveness as I search for some opening in your heart to the love I have in mine.

Do you care enough to find my love warm and embracing as it is or have the walls we have created become so thick and mighty that we cannot see through them or dare to climb their lofty heights?  Do you shrink from my touch out of such dislike for it or have I created that wall as well?  Do you wish for me to be somewhere else?  Do you wish for me to vanish down the trail beyond all that your eyes can see?  You have created me as I was, I have created me as I am, and is it so impossible to ask that you see me as I see me not as you would have me be?

I have created you as I see you, to that I have no doubt.  I love what I see, however, and despite the endless calls of my soul to part ways from you I simply cannot find it in my heart to do so.  My soul wants what appears best for you, my heart wants what it knows is best for me.  Who am I to argue with either?  Should I bend to the wind of my own creation or stand firm on the rock that I know?  I will stay sanely on my perch by your side, always wondering whether the dawn brings the day you will leave, the day you will say “I love you no more.”

At that moment I will shout to Heaven above “am I my brother’s keeper?” to which the Wind will whisper in the most patient repose “yes, you are”.  So off I will let you fly to seek your love anew, and steadfastly I will stand in the Wind with my arms outstretched and my feet planted firmly on the Perch of What Is singing softly to my self “I will love you“.

For now I will cling to what I have, what I know, and pray the voices stop before they make more sense than what is all around me.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ