What you feel is life, what you live is another story.

Category: Miracle Moments (Page 4 of 10)

Moments of inspiration and understanding from a place I cannot describe or understand.

The Sun and the Earth

Today, when we look at the moon and the Earth, we see a beautiful relationship.  The Earth faithfully orbits the Sun, reflecting the Sun’s light magnificently for the universe to see.  The Sun gives us light and warmth with a promise to shine for a billion tomorrows. That, however, was not always the case.

For once upon a time the Sun and the Earth had a much different relationship.  The Sun was angry; sending destructive flares outward into the cosmos.  The Sun burned intensely as all young stars did, searing nearby planets and destroying all that came near him.  The Sun became lonely, but still could not help himself as his heat and intensity caused all in the universe to avoid him.  The Sun was a product of the explosion that created him, and he knew no better because he was just the Sun acting like the Sun he was created to be.

The Earth was peaceful and calm aside from the occasional temper tantrums and changes that came with experience.  She steadily went about her business as she grew, becoming quite a stable planet as time went by.  Objects from all over the cosmos were drawn to her, but eventually they collided with her and caused her great pain.  She felt alone until one day she discovered the Sun.

Other planets had tried.  Mercury came alone at the wrong time and got too close.  She became a barren wasteland and laid to waste by the intensity of the sun’s heat.  Venus too had tried, but she also got too close to the Sun’s youthful intensity.  Other planets stayed further away, and while they were magnificent in the their own way they could not enjoy the benefit of the Sun, whom they feared.  Those planets were cold and distant, and while beautiful they remained unable to enjoy the warmth.

The Earth was different.  She loved the Sun.  At first she was drawn to him by his size and intensity.  The Sun also loved the Earth.  He enjoyed her beauty and the way she she seemed to love him back.  He didn’t feel threatened by her as much as he felt threatened by the memories of what brought him here, to this place and time.  He did all he could to get her to stay away, yet their love would always draw them closer.

As she got closer to the Sun his intensity began to burn her.  His flares would scorch her surface and she would show great pain.  The Sun looked around the universe and saw places that would be much better for the Earth, and in this pain there would be another flare and more pain for the Earth.  “Sun, I need you to end these flares or I will have to go away,” she would say.  The Sun tried and tried, and soon the flares became less and less until they faded away.

“Sun, I need you to stop being so bright,” the Earth said.  So the Sun tried and tried until his once blinding light became a faint glimmer.  “I need you to be less hot,” said the Earth.  So the Sun tried and tried until his once searing heat became more bearable to the Earth.  Yet, as time went on, that one bright part of the universe became darker.  The universe all around the Sun became a frigid wasteland.  The stars shone less brightly, and even the moon went dark.  Even the Earth herself became cold and bored as the Sun worked day and night to be, well, not the Sun.

One day the Sun just could not help it.  He exploded with a fury, sending light far and wide around him.  The moon shined, and the Earth became amazed at the beautiful universe around her she could only see as the Sun shined brightly.  She looked at him and saw his absolute brilliance.  She decided at that moment something that changed them both forever.

“Sun,” she said, “I want you to shine.  I want you to be warm.  I want you to be who you want to be.”

“But won’t that hurt you?” asked the Sun.

“You will be who you need to be and I will be who I need to be.  We need to love each other as we are if we are ever going to survive in this place.  You were created for a reason as was I, and we need to love that purpose as much as we love each other.”

The Sun understood, and in his appreciation and love shined just enough for the earth.  During the day, she could bask in his his warmth and his light and at night she could see the beauty of the universe around her because of the light he was.  As the Sun looked out upon the universe, he could see the coldness and the danger, but in his love he learned how to provide the right amount of light and warmth for the Earth.  Every once in a while he would send out a flare to protect her, and she had even learned how to stay close to him even when he was simply being the Sun.  

They had learned harmony through disharmony, love through egoic selfishness, peace through suffering.  Soon, miraculous things began to happen.  Life became abundant on the Earth.  The Earth and the Sun together provided for these miracles; miracles born of the love shared between two unlikely things who allowed each other to be. 

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Morning Inspiration 10/5/2010


Freedom is not the pathway to love, love is the pathway to freedom.  Happiness is not the key to acceptance, acceptance is the key to happiness.

And so began my morning in such clarity as to need no interpretation or thought.   It just was, as clear as the sky on a cloudless morning.  You never know when such moments of clarity will come so you just embrace them as they open themselves to you.  Is it possible that these moments are always there but we cover them with layer upon layer of meaningless stuff?  

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Psalm 1:1

I can no longer hide the essence of who I am.  The basket I’ve used is no longer thick enough. To share this light with the world; to be the guide toward whatever it is you seek; to strengthen you when you require; to weaken you when you demand; to comfort you when you request; to cause you pain when you need to feel something is my greatest purpose. 

You have torn from me that last great veil!  You have ripped from me the security I once sought with all my being and fed it to the wolves from which I once ran.  You have denied me the simplest pleasure while chastising me for seeking the greatest sin.  For who has that bell tolled if not for me?  Seek and you shall find without the slightest guarantee that what you find is what you were seeking in the first place.

With outstretched hands I beg of you.  Do not spare me from the slightest pain.  Do not keep me from the darkness.  Do not hamper me from the fall I must endure.  Allow me to bask in the darkness and embrace the suffering so that I may know what it is I am here for.  Allow the cup that you pass to press upon my lips.  Allow the nails to do their work.  Allow the taunts and unconsciousness of those around me to cause my wings to flutter uncontrollably.  It is for that you have created me; it is for that I have created my self; it is for that we have created each other.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Silence – The Relationship with Self

I frown at the thought of mothering yet another pitiful episode of the mad wonderings in my mind that create a sense of insanity outside of it.  Still, when faced with the combined sense of being misunderstood and misunderstanding I cannot seem but help to give birth to such a monster.  Gone are the thoughts of rosy sunrises in which we hold each other tightly.  Gone are the cascades of kisses thrown around as if they are candy during an Halloween parade.  Enter in this scene a morose feeling of incompleteness and solitude combined with fear and a sense of ineptness only experience in both could understand.  I don’t sense you have this experience and therefore do not have this understanding.  I am happy for that, for I love you with all of my heart and do not wish such a pain to be burdened by you ever in your life.

So I sit in silence.

Riding the wave has never been so hard.  Caught between the break and the riptide I am slowly losing my way from the shore.  I claw at the water to no avail as the sand and stone fades from memory into nightmare.  I drift away into the nothingness from wench I came, into an abyss so dark as to suggest it cannot exist.  To what do I owe this moment?  Is the “self” I was being so bad as to justify the hell it has been cast into?

The answer is silence.

I once heard a voice that seemed to inspire me.  I once felt tears that seemed to move me.  I once heard cries that caused me to look inward.  Now all I hear are echos from my own mind.  The voice now rejects me as if I were poison.  The tears now sting at my soul and keep me from being able to open my eyes.  The cries now are gone and have been replaced by nothing that matters.  I sit here, a soul of wholeness amidst the broken chains that bound me.  The chains only rattle, they do not hold me.  The links fall to the ground as broken shards of a heart once kept whole by the anger that imprisoned it.  It’s funny how the bars of the prison can keep the monster whole until the bars fall and the beast explodes, no longer existing but as a fraction of itself.  

Its roar is now silent.

Oh little boy, scarred by those who claim love, brought into the darkness by those who claim to know the light, who do you latch hold of when the coldness comes?  Who is your savior when you sin against your fairy tale?  Who is your executioner when you are no longer needed to be whole?  Time, my friend, will answer these questions.  Time, my son, will teach you truth.  You will come from solitude and be taught who you are only to find peace in the absence of everything you were taught.  You will rebel against who you are in the hopes of finding who you are.  You will cry, you will scream, you will grasp at nothingness until nothingness is all you know.  You will hear a voice that inspires you, you will cry tears that heal you, you will hear cries that cause you to look inside of you.  Through all of this noise you will see the honesty in its absence.  Through all of the clatter and instruction and direction and conditioning you will see the beauty of the what comes before and after the thunder.

You will smile.  You will love.  You will know silence, and in silence you will know your self.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Choice

So I do not dare find the completeness within me.  What would be the purpose of existing if, in fact, I understood the point of it all?  I don’t, can’t, will never know it all. That is liberating.

There will be mistakes.  There will be demands to which I cannot answer.  There will be tears to shed and words to be used as daggers forever.  It is our point of existence, our purpose for Being, our mission to which we will never see an end.  For every point of evolution there will be another challenge.  For every loving embrace a bomb shall fall.  For every gentle pat on the back a hard slap in the face.  Imagine this life without the one to balance the other.  What kind of life would that be if we simply had nothing to strive for?

I became pro-life when I started seeing dead children.  I became pro-choice the moment I realized what life would be like without it.   I became free the moment I realized I was imprisoned.  I became liberal the moment I discovered conservatism was a lie.  I became communist the moment I sought to end the thievery.  To which box did you just assign these words?  To which compartment did you just place my thoughts?  To which standard did you judge me at the moment you read simple things entered through a simple keyboard?  Did you even realize that I became these things not through matters of my own creation but through the efforts you provided in order to create me as you wanted me to be?  

My simple answer is “I am”.  Create away…make me who you think I am.  Take clay and make it into a vase and it is still clay.  You may make it what you want but, in the end, it is still clay.  And to clay it shall return someday regardless of what I want it to be.  I am meaningless, as are you, except as the Creator, and in being so I am all-powerful.  You are as meaningless as I except as the Destroyer, and in being so you are all powerful, as am I.  We all have this choice, these billions of small moments that decide who we are although not who we were and not who we will be.  Focus a billion times on each of these billion moments as they arise and you will define eternity.

We will make mistakes, and in doing so will continue perfection.  We will slap the face of a friend, and in doing so will be the best friend we can be.  We will turn our back on our brother and in doing so will provide him a target to focus on.  We will ignore our abuser and in doing so turn to face the light of love that surrounds us both.  The balance of the moment will never be distorted by the choice we make but exists because of the choice we make.  Just love who you are and what you do and allow others to be free as well to be as they are.  It’s all just so gloriously perfect.

This post is a result of my midday meditation.  It has not be proofread or edited in any way, so please don’t shoot the messenger who can’t speak or spell clearly.  Just <3.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

I Have Said Goodbye to Anger

So I was alone, helpless as the day I was born.  Actually, I was even more helpless, because in addition to not having hope I knew I did not have it.  So there I lay, floundering in my own despair, searching for a light to guide my way.  I reached for you but you weren’t there,  gone was the life-after-life – the solace to which I had become accustomed.

You were my strength; you were my weakness.  You cradled me in your arms as I sat helpless and bleeding.  You stood with me as I faced torment.  You lit my way as I groped down the narrow valley in which I was thrown.  You held me up when I thought I would fall, you pushed me down as I struggled to stand.  You helped me find my way as you kept me lost.  You gave me a name even as I had forgotten who I was.

You helped me escape unbearable suffering as you heaped on the misery.  You filled my cravings as you kept me wanting more.  You kept me from looking by telling me what I saw; you stopped me from searching by destroying all I had found.  You forced me to be who I wasn’t so that I could escape who I was; you created disdain for me while holding me true to a lie.   I do not judge you in these descriptions, they are what I see when the blinders have been removed.

I have said goodbye to you.  Not because I see you as good or evil, and not because I dislike you.  I have said goodbye because I no longer need the walls that you create.  I have said goodbye because I no longer fear my shadow.  I have said goodbye because I have said hello to the me that was before I embraced you.  I love you for the experience you have given me and for the now that I live in joy.  I could not have gotten here without you.

Goodbye to you my friend; my foe.  I am sure we will meet again someday, yet I can promise you that I will see you this time.  I will feel you come and I will simply try to watch you go.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

“I Did Not Know” (A Practice of Inspiration)

I simply did not know.  I felt the energy the first time our eyes met; like the shock of cold water running down my sunburned back it felt oh so good while exposing what was oh so bad.  I needed it, I needed you but was not ready.  Or so it seemed.  I was an infant, and there you were demanding that I run when I had so much to learn before I could walk.  You weren’t demanding, I was demanding.  I could have let you go to your own wonders, yet I selfishly demanded that you walk this path with me.  I was begging for it to be whole; the voice within me saying “this is it” while the voices around me were saying “this is over“.  So I ran, blistering my feet softened by self-loathing.  So I ran, abrading my knees with each stumble, scarring my legs with each fall.  So I ran, until you were broken and I was healed.  I learned to run before I learned to walk and I forced you to crumble with the stench of my fear.  The fear that kept me still even as my legs were making the motions you required of me…of what I had to require of myself.  I ran as to not lose you.  I ran as to not have to let go of the only piece of me that felt real

Yet I did not know.  The tear-stained site of where your smile once stood remained proof of my ignorance.  My longing heart broken by the steel coursed remembrances of time simply did not know how to beat.  Such pitiful displays of weakness bound us together by sheer force of will – shear force of fear of what lie on the other side of knowing.  My sheer force was destructive; yours moved mountains.  My force caused pain; yours created love.  My will laid barren a once beautiful oasis; yours spawned life anew from a craggy cliff.

So what do I owe this practice of inspiration, this creation brought from the example you have given me?  Your love, my dear, the cooling spring in the desert, the chilly breeze on a hot summer’s day.  Your steadfastness in the most uncertain of times; your example of what love is in the midst of a torrent of fear.  My hand is all I have to offer, my heart is all I have to give.  It is yours as I have no need for it beyond you.  Perfection is not my middle name and sorrow follows me as surely as this shadow reminds me of who I am without the Light.  Yet now I know, for you have shown me.  Now I know.

All I know I learned from you.  Others taught me fear, you taught me love.  My life had been a story of suffering, you gave me an opportunity to see.  I am but a sapling, but you helped me break through the soil.  I did not know how great life could be until I realized how bad it was.  How bad I was making it.  Yet from that seed nurtured by what Love Is I stand, a sapling in the woods with you as my Sun, my Rain, my subtle air.  I inhale in joy as I bask in the Love you have given me.  I feel your touch as I enjoy all that being is spirit provides.  In this I know.

What was born from what I did not know I surely now know.  I did not always see this sun, I sometimes lose sight of the way, yet from the darkness I stand still and all I need do is listen.  Listen for you.  Yes, now I know.  I am home wherever I can hear you.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

The Awakening

There are times when the journey takes us to unexpected places where the events of the moment do not seem to be so enlightened, or peaceful, or ordained as those we would not rather forget.  Yet, as we overlook those moments we can find purpose in them.  Yesterday was such a day for me, a day part of me would much rather forget, a day in which it appeared I was on a rain-slicked path spinning my wheels and going nowhere but backward.  Yet today, at the dawn of a new beginning, I can view those moments from where I am and not where I expected to be.  I can see purpose, and embrace that purpose.
 
It began Sunday night with dreams that kept me up most of the night.  I can’t say I was particularly horrified at any of them, but they just kept waking me up.  Dreams don’t ordinarily have a frightful effect on me; I see them as pathways to another time or existence and often just allow them to be in my mind until they fade away.  Yet those dreams had a compounding effect on me throughout the day, causing me to create sadness, anger, frustration and hopelessness in me.  Late last night I struggled with whether to write about that day or not, wanting to protect the innards of my mind from the light that stings it.  Yet, as I awoke this morning I felt as if the light was the only thing that could save me from my mind.  I decided to share.
 
The dreams continued last night.  They are not necessarily linear; they seem to be random examples presented to me of continuous anger, fear and frustration.  Yet I woke up with a renewed sense of purpose, as if the voice I heard in the background telling me to “keep focus on that which you are” rang true beyond the events going on around me in my dream-state.  It didn’t start that way on Sunday night, but it ended that way last night.
 
The most vivid dream I had on Sunday night was both frustrating and saddening to me.  I was at a campfire on a beach somewhere.  It was both cold and hot, with the air being frigid enough to turn my breath white but also being warmed by the searing heat of the fire.  A group of people I know (who will remain nameless) are beating on someone I don’t know, or may know.  The man being beaten kind of looks like me, but it is too hard for me to tell…although in my dream’s mind I wonder if it is me somehow.  They are hitting him with bats, fists, and kicking him with thuds so loud it would seem to shake the earth around us.  The victim is not protesting, he is only smiling…an eerie vision of pain being overcome by pure joy.  I wish I could say “they” were beating him, but I must say “we” were, and it seemed as if the beating was happening only to stop him from the simple act of smiling.
I can still feel the sadness in my heart as I beat on him.  I could hear a voice inside of me telling me to stop, but there was a much louder voice of fear telling me that if I stopped I would be next.  So I joined in, pretending to laugh with the others, pretending that I wasn’t suffering at my own hand, pretending that none of it mattered.  The sweat on my body from the effort chilled me, and I could feel as if I was freezing under the might of my own effort.
Then I woke up.  I rubbed my face, and silently said a “what the fuck” before closing my eyes and stilling myself back to sleep.  The other dreams were not as long (as I remember them), and not as vivid.  Each time I woke up I felt a bit more frustration, a bit more anger, and a LOT more sadness.  It seemed as if the purpose of me sleeping was self-torture, and if the purpose of waking was to inspect the wounds.  At one point, it was about 3am, I wondered if I should stay awake only to wake up again at 4:13 asking the same question.  I could not stay awake although I did not want to fall asleep.
 
So I woke up a bit later than usual on Monday.  I showered, and began work as usual, but felt as if I could explode any moment.  I felt exhausted, wondering what tragedy was about to hit me like a train and expecting to be hit on the head by the sky at any moment.  I can say that most of the anger and fear were gone in me, replaced by a complete feeling of sadness, remorse and a distinct feeling of worthlessness.  Was it the dreams that got me to this or where the dreams helping me get over this?  That question finally popped into my head as I lay down reading the book Jesus by Deepak Chopra.  I wondered if this book had caused the dreams, perhaps triggering some hidden emotion in me that was being released in my subconscious.  Regardless of “how?” the question became “why?” as I sought to discover the cause of suffering within me.
 
I have to say that in my meditation before falling asleep I begged for an answer.  What was it about these dreams that caused me to feel such enormous sadness and worthlessness?  Was I sad because I felt worthless or worthless because I felt sad?   I firmly believe in working hard to focus on that inner voice within us.  It tells us all we need to know.  I can see throughout my life all of the distractions I have created in order to not listen to that voice.  I can see ego’s clear purpose in distracting us from our “inner God” so that we may create situations that make that “inner God” shine through.  The trick is never in identifying those distractions or even in hearing the voice within, but in being able to find focus on it and in maintaining that focus.  That is where I fail mightily (if there is such a thing as failure in this regard).  I have identified that voice, and can hear it clearly, but somehow manage to be distracted more often than not.  I get lost in inane arguments about politics, religion, finances with others.  Yet, the clear distraction comes within me.  My need to talk…my need to be heard…my need to discover distracts me from my need to create and my need to just simply “be”.
 
Psalm 46:10 states it clearly.  “Be still and know that I am God”.  I used to focus on the “still” part.  It has been my experience that stillness is the only action necessary to know God (and you would be amazed at what you find when you find “God”).  The recurrence of the “dream by the fire” last night caused me to focus on another part of this psalm in my mediation this morning.  “Be”.  The command in this Psalm is not “still”…the command is “be”.  The action is not “still”, the action is “be”.  It would appear to me that I have had it all wrong…that stillness is not where you find God…it is where you know God.  To find God you must “be” and in stillness you know the God you find in Being.  All things of God come from what you find in the presence or absence of stillness.  If all depends, of course, on how you seek to define God.
 
As I said, the dream did return last night.  It was a bit more vivid than the night before.  There was the hot fire raging before me, with my focus being distracted from this light by a group of people beating on someone.  I grabbed a pallet board and headed over to be “one of the crowd” with the nervous excitement anyone who has ever engaged in violence feels.  Yet, I looked at the man prone on the ground, smiling, I felt the sadness again.  Yet, I didn’t feel sad for him.  He was still smiling and finding joy in this moment.  He was being hurt, no doubt about it, but he wasn’t suffering.  He was accepting who we were even as we weren’t accepting who he was.  He was accepting where he was and what was being done.  This enraged the crowd who simply seemed to want to beat the joy out of him.  I could imagine this is how Jesus felt during his torture.   Although he felt pain he did not suffer.  Jesus suffered before his arrest as he struggled to accept.  Once he accepted that the cup would not pass, the suffering ended.  This must have enraged the Romans so used to defiance shriveling before their torturous methods.  Acceptance can end the suffering in one but magnify it in another who refuses to accept.
 
I realized at this moment in my dream that I didn’t feel sadness for him, but for us.  I felt such enormous grief for those like me at that moment who felt a need to torture and hurt a person not like them.  I felt sad for me for being so distracted by the crowd as to lose sight of who I was.  I felt the remorse of a million pounds bear down on me.    I wondered if any Roman torturer felt this feeling as he beat the life out of a man who simply accepted the moment.
I dropped the board I was holding as walked through the crowd.  Everything stopped just long enough for me to lie down next to the man.  Again, he looked like me but with a straggly goatee that went down to his nearly his chest.  He was bald, but was too bloody and swollen for me to say for sure that I was looking at myself.  I just have a feeling that this was me…and my focus clearly stayed on the two of us for the moment we were allowed.
“Hello, brother” was all the man said.  We both smiled and…
 
I awoke.
 
The questions immediately popped into my head in the darkness of an early Tuesday morning.  Do I wish to be the Romans or the man?  Do I wish to be the meek or the powerful?  Do I wish to inherit the earth or die trying to hold on to what is not permanent and not mine to hold on to?  Do I wish to be eternal or restricted to time?  What is my focus?  That’s the great thing about purpose.  It never ends, not even with the death of my body or the death of my thoughts.  The purpose of light will always be to shine; the purpose of darkness will always be to define the light.  There have rarely been greater moments of joy than what is in my heart this moment.  I may be challenged.  I may lose focus.  But purpose? Well that I can never lose.
 
Namaste.

Glimpses of who I AM

I can only know emptiness through the illusion of fullness.  Love through the illusion of fear.  Eternity through the illusion of time.  I know who I AM through the illusion of that which I create myself to be.

Our existence, what we egoically call “our lives”, has the purpose of creation.  We create our circumstances, our loves, our hates, our dreams, our goals, our fortunes, our misdeeds, our SUFFERING continuously in this egoic cycle of creation.  Yet in every moment of this existence is the Observer, the Experiencer of this creative cycle which is the Source of who we are living and sharing in the experience itself.  To know this Self is to know your Source, and to know your Source is to know who I AM.  Once you know the I AM, the hold these illusions have over you begins to fade.  You need not believe in anything, you just need be.  You need not have anything, for there is nothing you don’t have.  Labels fade.  Judgments end.  Life becomes eternity.

I have seen these times in very short flashes in my life.  These moments are what have gotten me through the the nightmares I have create for myself and others.  These moments are what I strive to know…those glimpses of what I AM are powerful and full of joy.  They are not “bad”, they are perfect because they lead me to what I AM.  Such joy is known through the illusion of fear necessary to experience it.  This is what makes both perfect.

Enjoy both moments…seek not to judge them but allow them to be.  You will find peace.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

A Babe in the Womb

I am but a babe in the womb.  I do not know that I am supposed to have more than I have right now.  I do not  know that I am supposed to have more space to move.  I do not know that I should be demanding more than I need from this place where “I am”.

I have not yet learned that there is so much more than the creation going on around me.  No one has taught me yet that I should fear what is happening, or what may happen, or what may not happen.  I have not been instructed yet in the fine art of wanting more, of desiring something other than what I have now, or even of looking into the future for a quest I may never see.

At some point my fingers and toes are webbed.  I don’t even care, I just accept.  I do not know that they are supposed to be different in order to be “normal”.  In fact, I don’t even know how to see “normal” beyond what is right now.  My eyes are fused shut.  Yet, I see all that I need to see.  What could possibly be better than what is?

I can hear noises around me.  I react suddenly because they distort the silence of what is around me.  I have learned to love the silence although I did not know that until I first heard the noise.  Some in a much different universe will marvel at my reactions and do what they can to ensure I react over and over again.  I don’t complain, I just am.

I don’t seek to harvest this space I am in.  I have no need to harm others for my sustenance, it is being provided to me by my Creator.   Wealth is idiocy to me, for what would I do with more than I have now?  I do not destroy this womb in the search of wealth or more.  I need not pollute my body with ways of feeling better than I do now since that would be impossible.

My time here is short, but I have no concept of time.  I just exist in this moment and accept all that is provided for me.  I have no memories of where I was before I came to this place, and I don’t mind that convenience.  Not knowing where I have been nor caring where I am going allows me to enjoy where I am in joy.  I grow, and allow what has Created me to work through me.

I am perfect.  Then one day I am born and meet the world.  I forget my perfection and seek my imperfection.  My parents show me all of their imperfections in order to continue the cycle of being imperfect so that I can exist in this imperfect world.  I resist it all, strive for more and more, and question the very nature of my existence.  I graduate into being “human”, suffering mightily in the education and longing for that which I will never get.  Yet, somehow, I believe I am better and smarter than the babe in the womb although I am not sure how.  What now appears to suggest that I know so much more seems to prove that I know so much less.  With each act of war, with each selfish act of acquiring more than I need, with each passing moment in which I count the seconds of my life waiting for the next instead of living for the now I prove how much less I know.

For some, the journey will be and end in such condition.  For others, they will be born anew into the understanding of experience.  They will look at their aging fingers with joy.  They will appreciate their space without attachment.  They will see the billions of points of light coming from within the darkness we call “sky”.  They will live simply in order to allow the planet to be without harm.  They are the meek, and they shall inherit the earth.

Peace.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

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