Category: Poetry (Page 27 of 36)

I look at you…
I have no desire other than to understand you,
To see what makes you tick,
So that I can fix you.

I can see…
Your pain extends far deeper than I imagined,
That you are hurting in your smile,
Holding sadness in your laugh.

It is clear…
That you are struggling with this reality,
That you are helpless in your uncertainty,
And nameless in your lack of identity.

What you did…
You inflicted pain to create numbness,
You lied so that you could find security,
You destroyed so that there was nothing left to lose.

What happened…
Is that numbness didn’t last forever,
And caused you to wretch in a violent loneliness,
While you cried in such inescapable sorrow.

You have found…
That this is who you believed you are,
Abusive, abused, alone, at peace with this false identity,
So much so that you fought against yourself to make it so.

You hid…
Behind the laughter that defied your mood,
Behind the joy that defied your reality,
Behind the practice that suggested that love was somehow a hollow, shattered promise.

Yet you have…
Shined a light on this blinding cave,
Searched so hard and hurt so many for the answer to it all,
And you are here, and nowhere else regardless of where your mind takes you.

I see it all,
through the cracked glass I gaze upon you,
and judge you as see you as you are.
I see into your eyes, 
they look eerily familiar yet complete foreign,
A study into life as the three tenses merge into one.

I can feel you, as sorry as I am for having taken so long to help you,
I wish you could cry on my shoulder,
I wish I could comfort you in your despair,
I wish I could tell you what was coming,
But I fail in even this regard.

My poor boy, I let you go,
I let you succumb to the wolves around you,
I let you fade into nothingness,
I watch as you sobbed hopeless and alone.

The lies you were told became your own to tell,
The insanity inflicted on you became your own to repeat,
The anger beat into you became your only weapon,
The loneliness became your only friend.

You toiled in the art of deviance,
You relished in the art of fantasy,
You mastered the art of fallacy,
You have practiced the art of moving on.

You have survived my boy,
You have seen this darkness first hand,
You have the scars to prove you were there,
And the breath that proves you are still alive.

You love, so you can be loved,
You trust, so that you can live a promise,
You open your arms so that others can embrace you.
You are not that boy yet somehow that boy is you.

You can smile my friend,
For today is now and not then, 
And tomorrow is not today but a promise unto itself.
Yes, you can smile.

And you can be free.

©2011 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

I could find joy in your embrace,
If only you would hug me.
I could find hope in your words,
If only you would speak,
I could find love in your actions,
If only you would move,
I could find peace in your life,
If only you would live.

I could move mountains with a finger,
If only you would let me,
I could end every storm,
If only peace you would seek,
I could pray for repentance,
If you only forgave me,
I could see light at the end,
Without the past in the way.

I could hear the music playing,
If only you weren’t screaming,
I could write every word,
If the noise would subside.
I could trust in the present,
If the past didn’t haunt me,
I could hope for the day,
When time set me free.

Whose hand is in mine,
When the bells all start tolling?
Whose prayers do I hear,
When the angels appear?
Whose blood do I shed,
To feel like I’m worthy?
Whose life do I end,
To feel this secure?

I could bask in the sunshine,
If it weren’t so damned cloudy,
I could climb to the top,
If my footing would hold.
I could become what you want,
If you could just change me,
I could bring you to smile,
Through the tears in your eyes.

We could walk on the beach,
But the quicksand surrounds us,
We could swim in the surf,
But the tide is too strong,
We could swim to the bottom,
If the water wasn’t so murky,
We could head out to sea,
If the waves weren’t so tall.

Whose time is so endless,
To be wasted on “if only”?
Whose soul is so bad,
To be thrown into that hell?
Whose forgotten their joy,
In what we call living?
Who wants to start over,
When the death bells ring?
 

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

I am waiting for a timer to go off,
To tell me “it is time”,
To remind me of instant where,
I need to end this little rhyme.

Somewhere between then and now,
An eternity will pass,
Sometime between here and there,
I’ll have to get up off my ass.

Most likely I will waste this time,
In shear mortal flaw,
Or perhaps I can make use of it,
To describe some of what I saw.


Something strange began to rumble still!!
Ah but I apologize my friend,
The timer’s bell has begun to ring,
This little story has to end.




 

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

I find a moment to be “separate”,
To view the world around me, 
To see what is there without my conditions, 
To feel what is there without my layers,
To hear what is there without my distraction,
To smell what is there without my congestion,
To taste what is there without spice,
To be where not being seems essential.

I learn this view is not to be separate, 
But is to understand what “together” truly means.
To observe is not to be distinct,
But to understand all that binds us in who we are.
I cannot stand to be apart from you,
Basking in my human loneliness,
Toiling in your creation of “me” and what that means,
Or suffering in my creation of “you” and what that means.


There are times when I wish I had no such thoughts,
When I could just stay asleep and not awaken.
There are times when I just wish I could put it all away,
When I could just have a box and never deal with its contents.
Why do I care to know about me? Or about you?
Why do I listen to those who say I am not built for these endeavors,
Or to myself who suggests I am?
The answer will come in times own finality.


For now I will continue the struggle,
When I beg for a touch that never comes,
When I long for the sketch of playfulness that never gets drawn,
When this place doesn’t like an invisible, distant shore.
For now I will be who I am, or who I was,
Or who you wish me to be,
Because I know nothing else and can only see what is around me.


There is no failure in the art of trying,
There is only failure in the goal set beyond the limits of reality,
To that, I will remain indifferent. 


 

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

I could find peace in your arms,
If only they would embrace me.
I could find solace in your words,
If only I could hear,
I could find strength in your wisdom,
If only I would listen,
I could find love in your heart,
If only I could feel.

I could find peace on the mountain,
If only I were there,
I could find joy in the song,
If only I could sing.
I could find the rain drops cleansing,
If only I could run naked,
I could find resolve in your hands,
If only I could hold.

I could find wisdom in walking,
If I could only stop sitting,
I could find silence in the moment,
If I could only sit still. 
I could stop being so bad,
If I only knew good.
I could move on with living,
If only memories would die.

If only mountains would move,
If only the sky would stop falling,
If only angels would fly,
If only love would stop hiding,
If only the clock would stop ticking,
If only you would stand by.

If only…
If only…
If only…
 

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

I so want to find my soul,
Lost in the wilderness looking for me.
A heartbeat away from remembering,
A lifetime away from rejoicing.

I turn to the mountains to find you,
The softly falling snow’s silence only broken
by the sound of rushing water
Cascading down around me as if cleansing my mind.

I hike up to the river’s edge,
It’s roar calls to me and beckons me to stare,
I feel something,  I feel everything,
A moment’s notice of an eternal state of Being.

I once was surrounded by the urban jungle
I could not see the hills beyond the steel,
I could not hear the water rushing above the trucks passing by,
The snow…well it was pushed away by a need to get nowhere.

I once felt rage as I traveled to and fro,
Dealing with the asphalt path and others made just like me,
In a hurry to get nowhere,
In a rush to turn around and do it all over again like drones.

I once breathed air hardly fit for breathing,
I once used so much that I filled endless holes in the earth from consumption.
I sought more than the stuff I had before,
And found confinement in things I thought would set me free.

I once slaughtered a life just like me,
I ate it as if it were going to make me well.
I can hear your cries of fear dear friend,
I can see you suffer as the blood spills from your veins.

It all comes back to me
The stupidity, the depravity, and most of all the insanity.
I see it clearly in this moment’s notice of my eternal state of Being,
It was because I was, It is because I am.

The river, now still, allows me to see myself through its eyes,
The silence unbroken as the snow softly settles around me.
I can feel the trees alive around me, I can sense the clean air soothing me
I love what I see, this me, captured by the Oneness all around me.

I don’t need You.  I don’t need Me.
I have all that I have been looking for on this mountain,
Besides this stream, all around me.
It has taken me far too long to get here, to this place I cannot leave.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

I have hardly but stood in your glow
My Love,
Before the darkness falls upon me
And I begin to stare aimlessly into Nothingness.

There are but few things to comfort me
My Love,
Yet as I inhale the chill of thoughts born yesterday,
You are the feint fragrance of hope that warms my soul.

Though as dark and uncomfortable as I am
My Love,
I do find you the Light and you the Warmth,
That brings me back to Joy’s reality.

Who am I to hide these things
My Love?
Does the Sun pretend to be the moon?
Or the Sea pretend to be the cause of its mighty tide?

The answers to all of this
My Love,
Is found in the joy of your simple touch,
In the shiver that touch shoots through my Soul.

I cannot pretend to be anything but
My Love,
Lost in a place devoid of all you are,
Yet found in the knowledge that you are not that.

And torn between the two.

Such an easy choice it seems
My Love,
Yet nothing has been so hard as to choose
Between who I am and who I wish to be.

Into your hands I come
My Love,
Never to be parted as the fault lines fade,
We are, we share, we give birth to
Love.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

When you stand alone on a beach,
And you feel the breeze,
And the water tickling your toes,
That is love.

When you stand as just another part of a crowded beach,
And you feel the breeze as the water tickles your toes,
And you feel contentment in the multitude around you,
That is love.

When you walk among the trees,
And you can hear their leaves rustle,
While  basking in the warmth of the sun,
That is love.

When you open your heart to another,
Regardless of who he is or what he has done,
And you stand in complete absence of judgment,
That is love.

When you stand upright like a blade of grass,
Struggling for nothing but enjoying all you are,
Embracing the ground, the sky and the space between,
That is love.

When you are angry or shudder in fear,
When you hate those not like you,
That part of you who sees this,
That is love.

Love is the rain and the sun,
Love is the silence and the sound,
Love is the patience and the impatience,
Love is the seer and the blind,
Love is yin and yang and the space between them.

So when you cry out loud for it all to end,
Or smile in unbridled ecstasy,
When you fail or succeed or sin or forgive,
That is love.

Peace. 

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Can’t you hold me for just one moment more?
Can’t you tell me that I am needed,
That I am wanted, That I am as great as you?
Can’t you find your greatness in me as I have in you?

“I can’t my love.
I can’t see that you are needed,
I can’t see that I want you, I can’t be but numb in your arms.  
I can’t see that you are great, only that I am greater without you.”

Can’t you touch me one more time?
Can’t you comfort me in this, my hour of need?
Can’t you see that I am desperate, That I am completely lost?
Can’t you find your way as you lead me to my own?

“I can’t my love.
I can’t stand the feel of you or the sight of you,
I can’t find the means of comforting that which you are,
I can’t be found as long as you are the veil that covers me.”

Can’t you just forgive me of my sins,
Can’t love me so I sin no more?
Can’t you see that I have no quit in me, That I will lose?
Can’t you rejoice in the effort that is made in love?

“I can’t my love,
I can’t forgive what I can’t forgive nor indulge in some Love Boat fantasy,
I can’t see anything but a loser,
I can’t rejoice in that which can only fail.”

Can’t you?
I can’t.
Won’t you?
I won’t.
The end.

 
©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ