Category: Poetry (Page 22 of 36)

I haven’t felt a beautiful poem in ages

All I’ve felt 

Is judgement 

Rejection

Denial.

 

I look at my wings

And am consumed in sadness

They have not been spread in a hundred years

My heart aches

My eyes well up in tortured agony.

 

I tried

Lord knows I’ve tried

But I was not good enough

She who helped me fly

Has only tied me to this tortured place.

 

I failed

Lord knows I’ve failed

I was not strong enough

“Bullshit” I say

I had strength enough for the two of us.

 

I look up to the Heavens

My halo dimmed 

By the clouded sense of memory

I let loose

My tears falling like rain to the ground below.

 

I sit perched upon the Mountaintop

Viewing the flooded valleys 

Filled by my lament

The bright-lit edges of the clouds blinding my eyes

The rays of hope highlighting the darkest clouds.

 

I stare at the place

Where she once sat

Alone I caress the hardened sand

It moves and returns to dust

Just as all things I once loved.

 

I look up to the Heavens and shout

“Take me, I have nothing left to prove!”

A ray of light shines down upon my face

And I laugh through those tears of tortured memory

Knowing that this is exactly what is left for me to do.

 

Have nothing to left to prove.

Have nothing left to need.

Have nothing left to seek.

God, I am so far from that place

As I sit in a huddled mess wishing she were here.

 

So I stand, and walk to the fragile cliff

I gaze at the jagged rocks far below

And then to the Heavens far above

And I realize I must fall in order to fly

I must hit the ground in order to reach the sky.

 

Will these wings take me Home?

I fear not, but I know not

All I know is that I must try

They must reach out and grab the air

They must breathe in a rush of destiny.

 

For now I just stare at this mighty cause

As I look back to that place

Somewhat hoping that she’d return

It’s the uncertainty that binds me to this prison

And a feeling that is begging me to stay.

 

I know I need to know before I go

This is where I am until I am here no longer

Fuck, what part of me asked for this dilemma?

The part of me that loves, that’s who

The part of me that had never known such joy.

 

So I sigh.

So I pray.

So I return and sit at this flimsy throne.

I cannot help who I am

I can only be the best version of it.

 

I can do better

I know I can.

I can make you laugh

Make you sing to the Universe sings your tune

I can love you.

 

I can let go

I know I can.

I can make you smile 

While you hum the tune of love

You taught me not so long ago.

 

I can change

I know I can.

I can be the man you said you loved

While being the dream that makes you happy

If only you would give me such a chance.

 

I can…I can…

I fucking know I can

I shout to all who will listen

Until even the birds above

Laugh at my stupidity.

 

I fall to my knees 

My hands shoulder the weight of my aching head

As tears stain the ground 

And shouts cascade through the air around me

All I need is one, simple, loving touch.

 

Absence

Silence

Ignorance

Just bullshit games and empty words

I understand…I laugh at the premise.

 

In the confusion that is change

The mightiest of oaks split

The temples are destroyed

The ground shakes and the mountains die

It’s only confusing to the mind that is not made to understand it.

 

What is next I wonder?

I feel her coming to me, I need to be clear

This will not work and either will the alternative

But one must be the path I choose

As I stumble to the cliff.

 

I am strong

Much stronger than this

Some voice says to me in unchained defiance.

I have faced worse and fought

I have suffered more and survived

Fuck this shit, I am MAN.

 

Chuckle now…

I am but a boy

Lost in her arms, I have felt such greatness

It’s when she let go that I forgot who I was

and thus began the stumble to this cliff.

 

Come back! I shout

Stop being this and go back to that

Which version is the you you know in your finest hour?

Stop lying, and return

Stop lying, and just go

Whichever, just show me what is truth.

 

I feel a familiar touch upon my wings…

So I sit, so I stare.

It’s all I know I can do.