What you feel is life, what you live is another story.

Category: Because Love

Ecstasy

I hear a subtle song,
Southern bells ringing in the distance,
Yet the flag flying 
Half-staffed,
My heart sinks into laughter.

What lyrics mention those whispers,
Where light breezes move the stiffened pine,
The bluegrass moistened by the softness of her touch,
I hear it all,
Though speak nothing of its wonder.
Where will my heart be when smoke billows from the embers?
The clouds beg for my repose, 
I give them nothing but life roaring from my chest,
The fight raging through the weary part of stories told,
Waken, I say, and enter the truth of her forever.

There's a seat for us at the peak of that there mountain,
A solitude made for two, the lightning rings beholden,
I feel her ease me into that promised land,
Takes me whole, I seldom shudder in this amazement,
Her prayer a scream that echoes in the canyons far below.

Such this dream...not forgotten through the ages,
Ecstasy reborn through the stars we kiss on longing skin,
Stories we write on flesh begging us for more,
Time spent not here, or there, but everywhere,
Floating whispers that have finally found their home.

The Face of Love

Painful was the voice of childhood as it screamed from his entrails.

Commitment is like a knife whose blade is sharp and whose point cuts deeply. Treat it with care, avoid it when necessary. When unavoidable, keep the blade at a distance, and never run with the knife unsheathed.

Afraid was the voice of manhood as it echoed in the caverns of his mind.

Fear has shredded you like a hungry bear seeking food after a winter’s slumber. Approach it knowing its nature is never to injure, but in its hunger the frenzy devours whatever it must to survive.

Hopeful is the voice of love cascading through the waterfalls of his soul.

Remember that hand tightly, yet tenderly, holding your own? Remember her eyes as they lovingly turned your walls of stone to dust? Forget what you’ve seen before her. Forget what has hurt you. Discard those weapons you’ve used to keep the heart of love at a distance. Invite that divine serenity into your encampment, and see what words will spring from that union.

A man without his voices can feel lost for the moment. A man ignoring all that he once believed kept him safe trembles in the face of the vanishing-yet-false security. He simply seeks to dive into those eyes and feel that hand again. He feels lost yet not forgotten, afraid yet filled with courage, needy yet secure in his own space. Confusion tells the tale of some wondrous, pending transformation. It is now, in this light, that his shell can become a most dangerous place. He just wants to be warmed in her arms, yet he feels bitter cold at the height of a beautiful Spring morn.

The onslaught continues.

Loud is the voice of memory, shaking both the flesh and the heart of a warrior who’s left his sword and shield out beyond the gates of his Thermopylae. He feels naked, unarmed and unprotected as he faces the hoards of his despair, the very beasts who are sure to trample him in the mud beneath his feet.

His dreams pierce like a spear pressed firmly against his chest, a crimson teardrop runs freely down his skin. The ground is fertile with such tears, and there he has found a willow tree whose branches caress his heart as the winds shred the last veil adorning his tired soul. Love is the sweetest refreshment, yet his chalice has been blown to where the Sun shall kiss the Sea, that place where the sand cleanses his feet and the waves are poisonous to his lips. Still, he would gulp the ocean dry to have both her cup and his wine on the same table, in the same place they both call home.

The demons advance, and he reaches for his sword. He’s left it back there, beyond the gates. He reaches for his shield, and remembers his sword leans up against it. In their absence he will face the hoards with no means of offense or defense. Fists clenched and with a will wavering yet strong, he braces for battle. In a moment of insecurity he closes his eyes to die with a vision of his choosing. There, in the darkness of his final fear, glimmers a beaming image imprinted somewhere beyond his grasp. On the clouds of heaven he sees her, the image of his beloved smiling with eyes that changed everything. He is ready to surrender and meet her there, somewhere beyond the walls of eternity where all angels go to rest.

Suddenly, the ground once shaking calms. The sound of the hoards pouring from unmoored ships just beyond the breaking waves goes silent. The air once choked with dust from the hooves and feet of suffering, settles. All that is left standing is a man, alone in the sand, tears spilling down his face cleansing the dirt from his skin. Naked, alone, yet clothed in the truest togetherness he has ever known, the man has seen something he was certain few have ever seen before.

He has seen the Face of Love.

Though others would torment him in his smile, smile he would. Though others would not understand the depth of his soul, he would bathe in the deepest parts he could find. Though others would not seek the wounds that led him toward the smile saw during his moment of surrender, he has blessed every scar. The willow tree that had sprouted despite the salts of his despair knew something even he did not. The willow knew his depth, his healing, and the blessing of his smile. In return he just wanted her near, a blessed reflection of the truth he had spent a lifetime uncovering; the embodiment of the promise made through him at the moment of his conception.

“Please, come back,” he said to the image flying East as it rose to greet him.

“I will,” came the reply.

“Now…” his voice trailing off in the absence of a will to demand anything of her.

Silence.

He closed his eyes tightly again, praying for a return to the beauty that saw the weaponless man victorious in battle. There she was, as if she was standing before him, teasing him in the darkness with a light he wanted to be eternal. His tears flowed when she smiled and the thirst returned as he bent to kiss her. He was there, wherever she was, home. They were there, wherever they stood together, safe at last.

 

 

 

Parting, Again (A love letter)

My Love,

Don’t leave me too quickly, or be too long in return. Kiss me softly under the gray skies of Winter. Promise me the warm embrace of Spring in all that you say it offers, the unpushed flower unfolding, the loving discussions of what will be. What more do we need to make real this truth we whisper our oaths to? What gods must rise from the depths to snare for us the beast that keeps us quiet? Where must our feet fall to leave our imprint on the Earth if not to awaken the very soul of Her as you make your way to heights unmatched? What views must we find from which we speak our oaths to one another, to God, and to the Mother who has blessed us both with life and blessed wonder?

I seek not much from this tortured plain but to rise above it. I must scratch and claw at the hard-packed trail beneath my feet just to get a glimpse of Heaven. Not two days ago you sat on Her ridge, gazing out through those Pearly Gates, your soul screaming in victory at the undertaking. Words poured from your soul, words you could only guess at their meaning, that brought tears from my heart. As you read that prose to me the glorious trembles in my soul rattled my truth like a saber in its scabbard begging to be unsheathed.

The truth, you are it. You leave my space and once again the sadness pours from my heart like a torrent. Parting with you is such an unnatural act, one I have no desire to engage in and one that can leave me wandering aimlessly in words that flow effortlessly from my fingers. I pray that Venus end my torment but she laughs at me. I beseech Cupid to true his arrow to the center of my heart, but he too laughs and then shows me the bleeding wound he has already left there. I seek comfort in the rising Sun but there is none to be had, only these words that flow, I can only hope, directly to your thirsty lips.

What I do, I do not know. I should have mastered this already. It should be easier to watch you ride off toward your destiny, except I am your destiny and you are heading in the opposite direction. I want to further simplify this life and transform this journey into one devoted to nothing but creation.  I wish to wake up beside you if only just to gaze upon your form in the dim morning light. Then I wish to tell the story of that day that began with so much love vast oceans could not contain it; a day that ends as it began with a kiss and your stoic man gazing lovingly at your form while you searched for my hand beneath the covers. There, those oceans will flow onto our bodies as we dance to our Divine music, and recite poetry that has no words, only intention. We so love…

Ah, those visions of eternity that ring truth upon the bells in our chests! We walk our dog upon the streets of this village, reciting stories of the first time we sat on that spot, ate at that place, slept at that Inn along the way. Our gait will be slower then, but our intentions just a pure as when we could run at full speed on hardened pavement. You will sit on that Left-hand chair as you did the first time we ventured here, and I will look at you with the same love and care as I did that first time and I will be reminded of the great fortune I have had just to have had these walks with you, this life with you, and the moments we have created on our journey. There is so much to create, my love, and we are the very ones who can create it.

For now, I will dim the lights in our space until you fill it once again, and light a candle in your honor beside the altar of my heart. I will say a prayer that echoes in the empty chamber that is reserved for you and look toward the sky through the windows that adorn our cathedral. I will ask each star for your safe return and beg of God the chance to know old age with you, my beloved, my soul’s mate, my heart’s spoken truth.

Safe travels, my beloved. My heart goes with you.

Your Love

I Love You Through My Bones

Lay with me for a bit, my love. Hold my body close, squeeze my hand tightly and feel my breath on the back of your neck. Love is here, around us and through us, binding us together in a moment that will echo through eternity.

Let’s listen to the winter wind howl outside our warm nook, the snow falling gently as the seed we have planted awaits its spring promise. Know that the man who lays beside you honors you in every breath and carries within him a heart that beats for you. Know that the space you share with your warrior has been blessed by time and our own intention. Know that I would defend our space with all I am and all I ever could be.

That is my truth, for I love you through my bones.

Let that be, and feel it. Feel it through your own bones too.