Author: tomgrasso (Page 23 of 38)

Matthew 25:32-46

February 26, 2010 / tomgrasso

Matthew 25:32-46 (New American Standard Bible)

32″All the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats;

33and He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on the left.

34″Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.

35’For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in;

36 naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’

37″Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink?

38’And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You?

39’When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’

40″The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’

41″Then He will also say to those on His left, ‘Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels;

42for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink;

43I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.’

44″Then they themselves also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?’

45″Then He will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’

46″These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

When I first read this part of the New Testament, I was under the guidance of a nun in Catholic school. To me, in my youthful exuberance of not knowing, this seemed to suggest such a mystical view of the world from a place most of get to see. The moral of the story to those entrusted with my religious education was simple: act like Jesus and show compassion and caring toward the world and you go to heaven. Act like the goat and go to hell.

At that time, I simply accepted that the moral of this story was that simple. Yet, there was something inside of me that begged to see it as more, to understand the story as well as the meaning from the perspective of the one who was telling the story. As I thought about it (a process that continues to this day), I wanted to understand what this would mean to someone who truly sees the universe for what it is in its suffering and in the condition we as humans Being have created within that universe.

Today, after enjoying nearly 30 years of experience since that lesson, I can see this from a perspective that I could not see as a young boy without that experience. The whole analogy makes perfect sense where before something did not sit right between what I felt and what I knew. Allow me to explain.

In this existence there are two types of people having their experience at any given time. On the one side, there are the sheep. They live a life of acceptance and purpose completely in harmony with the Love that created them. In this harmony they offer compassion to the world around them, they give to the world without judgment. In this harmony they experience the bliss of Love, and in doing so inherit the Kingdom that was prepared for them from the foundation of the world. That foundation, of course, is Love.

The other type of person is the goat. The goat lives a life of ego, always striving to get more. They are so entangled in their quest for more and better that they do not have the time to show the world true compassion. They do not give of themselves to others, and they judge others from this perspective of ego. They are attached not only to the quest for things, but also to the things themselves. The result of these attachments is suffering, and in this suffering they cannot inherit the Kingdom. It isn’t that they aren’t worthy; it is simply a consequence of their lust devouring their attention from Love.

To me, it is that simple. There are no magical equations which you need to follow, no religion you need protest faith to in order to overcome this condition. The act of repentance is all that is needed. Now let me clarify. Repentance is not the simple act of asking for and receiving forgiveness. It is the recognition of the cause of your suffering, and the actions necessary to eliminate those causes from your existence. Saying “I am sorry” and having the person you offended replying, “You are forgiven” is NOT repentance. You need not seek forgiveness for the suffering you cause in others because you cannot cause suffering in others. They are the cause of their own suffering. What you can do is forgive yourself for the suffering you caused yourself (which is very likely the cause of suffering attributed to you in others) and remedy the cause of your suffering. You have then repented acting in complete harmony with Love, and in this action find the Kingdom of God is very near.

The amazing thing about this process is that while you may reduce or eliminate suffering in your own life that is not an automatic guarantee that you will eliminate it in those whose lives you touch. In fact, your own detachment from the things that cause suffering may very well cause suffering in others. This seems hardly possible, but those who are inflicted with the illness of ego will lash out at you for not sharing their affliction. Their egos see you as a threat to their cause, and react as any threatened animal would. These people will lash out, condemn you, and “kill” you or find varying degrees of punishment between.

As I share with you what I see in the passion of Jesus before and during his execution later, I believe you will see a great example of harmony with Love. As the story goes, Jesus accepted the “cup” but did not waver in his Love for those who so blindly and brutally inflicted their egos on him. This example is one that is a true litmus test for our own harmony with Love just as all great spiritual practices the world over provide. Could you forgive those who were brutalizing you even at the moment of impact? Such Love cannot be overlooked as extraordinary, it must be seen as something we should strive to make very ordinary.

I would also like to offer a perspective on the “heaven” and “hell” mentioned here. As we will dive into later, the way I was taught Heaven and Hell never seemed right to me either. The idea that there was some place my soul would be sent depending on what my mind and body did simply made little sense to me. I began to wonder, “What is paradise and what is suffering to a soul that seemed to feel neither”. Anyway, as mentioned I discuss this later but in the context of this story we see the parallels that could be easily drawn. As we act in a way that either makes us sheep or goats, there is always something called “consequence”. To the person who is being the sheep, that harmony with Love experience creates a state of Bliss. That Bliss, the state of grace created by the harmony we have with Love, is Heaven. It is the natural state of our soul, which is Love, experiencing itself in the presence of what it is not.

Hell, on the other hand, is the consequence of acting in accordance with ego much in the way the goats did in this story. The suffering, the pain, the anguish, the rage are all part of the consequence of those out of harmony with Love. Hell is the price you pay for living in ego, the results of attachments both made and completed in a world of things. It has been my experience (one that is ongoing even as I write this chapter) that one reason giving is a way out of this Hell is because is proves a detachment to things. You can only give what you do not have an attachment to and not suffer. Even as you give away that which you love you still suffer in the beautiful act of giving. You are still in Hell even though you are acting in accordance with Love because the attachment itself, not the things you are attached to, is the cause for this consequence. Things are not the issue, wealth is not evil, rather the attachment to it promotes an unhealthy relationship out of harmony with Love. It is not some great act of love to give away that which you are attached to, but rather a great act of love to not be attached in the first place.

In my experience, I have learned (and still continue to learn) to not love things. Sure, I enjoy playing with gadgets, getting stuff as fruits of my labors. Yet I am increasingly becoming detached from these things, as if I am saying “sure, I have them, but they don’t mean anything.” Yet, I find suffering in the loss of some things I have, or are not willing to part with others. This is my condition because I recognize I am not perfect, and this condition is not bad…it will just come with a consequence.

That is the one thing I take from nearly every experience I have: there is no such thing as “bad” except that which is judged by our egos. When I see something as bad, I realize immediately (or pretty darn close to it) that it is my ego talking. I then seek to watch the ego instead of become the ego. My mind can create anything as bad or good depending on its perspective at the moment, but Love simply sees it as what it is. As something occurs, my ego immediately determines the level of threat it feels and instructs the mind to create in it either good, bad or indifferent. My soul, my level of Being Love, just sees it. It is an experience to the soul, nothing more. To our Beings, everything our ego-minds judge as good or bad is necessary for the experience it seeks. Heaven and Hell are consequences our ego-minds must face as a result of our actions. As Love, our souls simply experience this consequence as necessary. This lack of judgment seems to be pointed out in the sentence “I was in prison and you came to Me.” Jesus seems to suggest here that he would be in prison just as a criminal would. This would also suggest that there is no judgment, no need for the rendering of punishment beyond what man deems necessary as consequence. When you are without judgment, someone in prison certainly is no more or less in need of your compassion and Love as is anyone else.

That leads me to a final point. I have wondered about the use of the word “eternal” in this story. It would seem to suggest that during this judgment we are doomed to an eternity of either Heaven or Hell. It does seem to make sense to me deep within me. Forgiveness seems to be the staple of Jesus’ message in the New Testament. Yet it would seem that this story would not provide for forgiveness. The contradiction rattled me for some time since it simply seemed to suggest that there would be a time when God and/or Jesus would no longer forgive, and an eternity of pain would be the consequence. This notion just did not sit well with what I felt to be right.

It dawned on me one day that eternity did not mean forever. Since our souls cannot suffer nor know time, what would be meant by eternity in this case? No, I did not investigate the translation of eternity, nor did I go to the original text for evidence of some truth. Rather, I just did what I always do when questions like this come up; I searched in the Word of God within me. It came to me suddenly one day as I was reading this passage and meditating on every line.

Eternity is the moment. At the very moment of consequence you are spending the eternity of that moment in Heaven or Hell. There is nothing beyond that moment, the present moment. The past does not exist within it, nor does the future. It is all that is or ever will be. It is eternity. Every action you are either being a sheep in harmony with Love or a goat in line with ego sure to experience the consequence provided you by that experience. As you experience the consequence in the now, you are either in heaven or you are in hell and you are in that condition for the eternity we call the present moment.

This life’s experience is a choice and a consequence for that choice all for the experience.

Human suffering

February 21, 2010 / tomgrasso

For in every moment of human suffering is found an opportunity to rise above it.

I’d Rather Walk in Hell

February 21, 2010 / tomgrasso

I’ve whittled time to its sharpest edge,

And cut myself to the bone,

I’ve seen the scars from where you’ve bled,

It’s no wonder I’m alone.

I’ve felt the sting of anger’s vent,

That I never meant to share,

You’ve turned, you’ve cried, you’ve walked away,

I guess it’s only fair.

If you could see me now my dear,

I would be your destiny,

Instead you’re blind with memories,

So you waste the best of me.

There is no hand to reach for mine,

No subtle, loving touch,

Instead there is just bitterness,

As if loving is too much.

I bid you dear to set me free,

And I will bid you well,

For if you cannot love me now,

I’d rather walk in Hell.

The Path Less Traveled

February 9, 2010 / tomgrasso

I walk…I meditate…I meld into everything around me as if it is all One.

With the sun rising on my face and the snow crumbling under my feet I walk. I experience the calmness of this moment through the change my feet are creating through the destruction of my step. I can feel the silence through the sound of snow crunching with each moment. I can sense the warmth of the sun through the chill of this winter’s morn. It is all part of One, it is all perfect.

The path I took to these moments was clear. Snow plows had cut a path to the walking/jogging paths adjacent to a local recreation park. The walk was brisk but a bit icy until the moment it came to to take the paved walking paths. Today, those paths were covered with anywhere from 4-6 inches of snow.

I had a choice here. I could walk the path not traveled since the 28 inches of snow fell a few days ago, or I could walk a path cleared for me by others. As I examined both choices, I realized that this was a metaphor for my life and the observations I have of the lives around me. On one side there is the path relatively smooth, cleared by the hands of others that would require minimal effort to traverse, and on the other side a path whose very essence was an obstacle. I could not know how deep the snow would get as each moment (step) passed, or if there would be ice to stumble on, or frankly what laid before me in the smoothness of the snow that spanned as far as I could see. On one path there was the illusion of safety and security and on the other the illusion of danger in the unknown. Yet both were illusions that would allow me to have the experience I wished to have.

As I took my first steps in the deep snow, I readily accepted the labor involved in as each step passed. I barely noticed the cars as they sped by on the relatively clear roadway. Their sound became part of the nature that surrounded me, barely detectable above the rush of wind through the trees I walked next to. I could feel the sun beginning to crest over the horizon behind me, and it seemed that nature itself was taking her cue from the sun about to bid it “good morning”. The birds came alive in song, the squirrels began their daily activities, and it seemed that even dogs began barking in unison with life around me. It all was so perfect.

A feeling came over me at some point in this meditation. I realized that acceptance was the key to this moment of joy. I wondered about our society, this illusion of “we” created by our minds for the human need of companionship, acceptance and yes, confrontation. Had I become a metaphor for this “society”? Was I so attached to the ideal of comfort that the very idea of discomfort became bad? Was I so attached to the desire for love that the very idea of being myself had become foreign to me? Had I become so attached to my ideas of “right” and “wrong”, those very illusions created by me in order to judge myself and others, that I was unwilling to just let others “be” in who they were in their own dream?

Perhaps why I made the choice to walk the harder path at that moment. I sought to be outside that which I considered “comfortable” or “safe”. Perhaps I have the notion of “comfort” and “safe” so that I can have the experience I am having now, the moments of discomfort and insecurity. Perhaps the reason I have either (or both) experience is so that I can realize that the experience itself is nothing more than an illusion, that I am no more ensured security in my bed at night than I am on a rickety bridge above a bottomless pit. I am ensured nothing except the experience this life offers, for life itself is nothing more than a continual loop of varying experiences the purpose of which is to nurture the soul.

In a passing moment of fancy I wondered whether I would have made it to this moment had I chosen what seemed like the “safer” path. I realize that thoughts like this are meaningless except in providing proof of their meaninglessness. Yet, there is some validity to this thought if only to say that we must accept this moment as all we will ever have, as all that we are ever promised, and to enjoy the experience of this moment in all of its glory. To this I open my heart to this moment, and give thanks to It for the experience it has created, and that this ability to dream beyond what I am.

Namaste

The Idea of Loving Relationships We All Hate to Have

January 27, 2010 / tomgrasso

It can be such a weird reality sometimes. I have to say that I find inspiration in some of the most unusual places and have come to realize that I just never know when or where such movement of spirit will happen. I guess I have learned to just take it as it comes and to appreciate the movement as it occurs. Such appreciation is as fleeting as the movement itself, and nothing becomes more apparent then the futility of grasping such outward signs of love then when I find myself in the contented state of my inspired mind.

I was fortunate to be reading a friend’s posting on relationships, and in understanding the recent loss she had one could easily see the outward expressions of pain and the resulting eagerness she had to overcome the suffering her attachment to another created. The ego works in crazy ways in this instant, with the action of blaming the other for her own suffering followed by the ignoring of the reaction she was having to the suffering followed by the pretense of indifference at the loss itself. This observation got me wondering, what is this idea we have created about relationships and how does this idea correspond to the human condition? This rather boring discussion I have been having with myself asks to be shared with others for reasons why I have not discovered (or created) yet.

I begin looking at this dynamic not in the dualistic way most of us see things, but through the eyes of a Being who sees things in three “dimensions”. Utilizing this triad, one can see clearly the advent of suffering in one’s life. We create the conditions by which we suffer in our attachment to something that is not real. We create everything in our lives, from conditions that allow love or hate, joy or sadness, misery or happiness. I don’t see us actually creating misery for example, I see us as knowing misery and then creating the conditions by which we experience misery. The same can be said of any physical or mental reaction we have in this existence.

Since we create these conditions, we are the Creator. In my remembrance of “Who I am”, I see me as the Creator experiencing Himself by knowing what I am not. In order to experience happiness, I must first know sadness. In order to experience misery, I must first know joy. In order to experience Heaven I must first know Hell. In order to experience Enlightenment I must first know suffering. Now, I remember this quite clearly and my spirit tells me this is truth each time I am inspired while expanding on this truth with the realization that none of this is “bad”. Sadness is not bad, happiness is not good. Both are equally important to the spiritual being having the most human of experiences, which is our purpose in the first place. Without the necessary sadness I could not have the purpose of experiencing either the sadness or the joy. Therefore, that sadness is just as good as the happiness to the spirit, regardless of what the ego tells me is real.

This may appear to be a very dualistic approach, but I can’t see it that way as I study it in the very three dimensional way my spirit exists. In approaching this in a manner of spirit, I see that three distinct areas exist in any human experience the spirit may have. The spirit has no choice but to live in this “world of three”, for without that world (what we call the universe), the spirit cannot experience itself. The three areas are: Creator, Creation, Experience. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. That Which Gives Rise To , That Which is Risen, That Which Is. These three things, in whichever way you wish to describe them, exists in order the the Creator to experience Itself (creation) through Experience. Experience is what exists as a condition of creation. While this is not a new approach or definition, it is the way my spirit speaks to me when I am willing and able to listen.

In this idea we have called “relationships” it is important to note that I am speaking specifically about the human relationships we call “love”, but are really nothing of the sort for most of us. For most of us, “loving relationships” are creations of our mind. Our minds create the condition of “love” and the relationship is born. Now of course this is not real love, we attach conditions to the condition by which we must continue in this relationship. Each of us must be faithful, kind, considerate, truthful, and whatever other conditions we may place on each other in order for the relationship to qualify as “loving”. We know deep down somewhere that True Love does not place such conditions on anything, in fact the act of being in True Love eliminates any conditions and therefore is not a condition unto itself. Rather, our creation of the condition we call a “loving relationship” is very egoic in nature, so is never very permanent even in its longest durations. Imagine the peace and harmony you would feel if you could just relinquish your demands for the existence of conditions you have placed on the loving relationship your ego created. Imagine the lack of suffering you would entertain not only upon yourself, but on the one you believe you love.

Impossible, I know. You could not tolerate a cheating partner. You could not tolerate lies. You could not tolerate the other person being who they are at that moment if that person did not fit your mold of an ideal partner. You create in your relationship the necessary quid pro quo that all egoic relationship have. You need something from them in order to give something of yourself or else the result is suffering and the experience of misery for both of you. The other person suffers for having to pretend, you suffer for having created the condition by which pretending is necessary. The roles we play are the swords we live by, and those of us who live by the sword will surely die from it. Only True Love can heal the wounds that sword will surely inflict one day.

One must understand that all of this is necessary and therefore is not bad. It is PERFECT. The real question here is whether or not this experience will lead you to a better understanding of why you had it in the first place and of who you are. That is the purpose of experience and of this illusion we call reality, so that you may determine who you are and find harmony in the existence you can create with this higher vision of yourself. Life is not a process of discovery, it is a process of creation, and as we create our existence each time around, we are allowed unique insight and access to the voice within that is our guide. The question is, are we looking and are we willing to listen?

I guess the idea of loving relationships is one we all hate to have. They are painful at times. Most of them end up hurting us in the most profound ways. Yet each of these are opportunities for exploration and further creation. The cycle of creation never ends; it begins in Love, exists in Love, and destroys itself in Love so that it can create anew. You have created the condition of love from your spirit (Pure Love) so that you can have this great experience we call “life”. It is the very act of in-spiraton. Embrace it all, enjoy each moment, and find that glimpse of awareness that is born from the experience itself. It is your purpose, and to that end there can be no higher.

Am I Dreaming This Idea of “the Dream”?

January 22, 2010 / tomgrasso

So, I ask you all one very simple question. Is judging something real or an illusion an act of ego or an act of Divine knowledge?

Every time I hear “this is a dream” or “you are dreaming, man” or “be aware of the dream” something just does not sit right with me. It’s as if I have to force myself to believe this dream stuff. Perhaps “force” isn’t a good word, but it’s as if I am eating a rotten apple and pretending it tastes good. I am eating it because I want to know it, but something is telling me that what I am eating just isn’t right for me.

Here is what I know to this point. I am present in a creation in which I had no part in my memory. In this creation I have certain abilities to create. However, I have no abilities to change the media that the creation itself is present in. I can change the sculpture but I can’t change the marble no matter how much I try or believe I can. It remains marble. Storms rage. Tsunamis strike. Earthquakes rumble and galaxies collide. Suns burn out and die. Novas create regardless of how much I think none of it is real. To those that say the darkness cannot defeat the light I just need to point to the center of the Milky Way to prove otherwise. In a universe of relativity there will always need to be an opposite.

Yet, to some I am dreaming. Fine, I get it. But what do I do with the voice that tells me that in judging something as a “dream” I am creating it as a dream. What part of me is the creator in this situation? Is it me the Being knowing what I know in Absoluteness or is it me that man thinking what I know in ego? The voice inside me simply says, “Let it go. You cannot fathom the marble you are using, you only know the chisel and what you see. Allow it to be and focus on the sculpture.”

So that is where I am at. So I turn to you, and ask simply and humbly, “is judging this existence as a dream an act of ego or and act of God?”

Peace.

A Moment on Top of the Mountain

January 20, 2010 / tomgrasso

Today I got to enjoy many moments of love. Pure, unadulterated bliss, harmony, and peace. I felt today that I was Love, and a joy permeated my body and soul in a way that made me feel as if I was one with the entire universe. I could feel the creation inside me…life anew in the universe created in and all around me.

I meditated this morning before dawn, lying in bed absorbing all that was around and in me. I felt light and completely content with where this moment had me…and then the next…and then the next. Each moment passed me by like clouds on a breezy spring day. I took them in and let them go. I loved each of them and missed them not as they faded into what was to allow what is.

It is in such joy that I can see the experience of my life that brought me to the summit of this Mountain of Bliss. At such heights, I can look around and survey all that was without needing to relive those moments. This spot allows you to reflect without becoming the reflection, feel without being the feeling, see without the attachment to and creating what you see as what you are.

From this vantage point, I could see the storm brewing. I could hear the screams, the smacks, the callous “I did this because I love you.” I could hear a young boy crying for the pain to end. I could see a lonely, dejected soul just trying to fit in. I could see a mother beating her son into submission. I could hear the prayers for it all to end.

I could see an adolescent boy wondering if he could stop the storms that raged in his mind. I could feel his torment at the bruises and the welts forming on his body. I could sense the agony of isolation and unending feeling of contempt he felt others had for him. I could see him on his knees begging God to “let this cup pass from me” only to have His will be done. I could see the look in her eyes as she struck out with leather, hand, fist, or any other object that could get the job done.

I could see the violence invade his soul, shutting down the once loving and kind boy as he grew into a violent and angry man. I could see the damage left in his wake, the blood, the pain, the fear and the anger. The river of anger never ceased in this man’s mind; it flowed freely and often flooded his body with contentment at having shared this pain with another in the most violent and angry of ways.

I could also see the tears form in the eyes of those this man loved. He needed control. He thirsted for power. He was afraid of it all. I could hear the sobs of those who wanted so desperately to love him. I could see him abusing their desire for him, taking them into the depths of passion and then discarding them once the wave had subsided. They would need him, but he would never need them.

I could see all of this from my summit. A smile crested from my lips as tears streamed down my face. In this moment of reflection I could see it all, and it all could see me. The boy looked at me, and he smiled too. “I will endure all of this for you”, he said. “I will suffer so that you may live. I will bear the brunt of all of this because I love you. Forgive them for they know not what they do.”

I noticed the young man looking at me. “I will endure this all for you”, he said. “I will suffer in spite of myself, and will see such pain in the eyes of those I love so that you will always remember me. I will bear the brunt of all that is because I have faith in you. Please forgive me, for I know not what I do.”

I wanted so desperately to hug them and to tell them it would be alright. “Don’t worry”, I shouted, “time will change the world and you will be loved and you will love!” But they had vanished, gone with the moment as if like clouds on a breezy spring day. Yet I knew they knew, for I lived in them and they, in turn, lived in me. The hand that now caressed in love once shattered in anger. The lips that speak love’s clear truth once spoke fear’s distorted lies. The back that once bore the scars of a soul lost now supports the hugs of love and peace. The arms that once pushed away everything now embrace it all.

In my mind I see that boy and I thank him. He bore the worst of others to allow me to be. He suffered so that I may know now. He was not fragile or weak, he was my best teacher and my closest friend. I love him and he loves me, for the first time we love ourselves. Yes, little boy, I have forgiven them.

I see that man and I thank him. He created the worst of himself for others and lived with the worst in himself so that I may see. He knew such things so that I could experience what it is I am not. He took the punches and gave the beatings so that the scars could remind me of him. I see those scars each time I look in the mirror, and I smile. I love him, and I forgive him, for I could not be me without him.

So today I am at the summit, enjoying the view from the mountaintop. I had to climb to get here, and I now realize I am not done. My path heads in a direction I cannot yet see. That is not important, however, for right now I am here, and I am Love.

Am I my Brother’s Keeper?

January 18, 2010 / tomgrasso

Alone we stand embroiled in the past; strangling our present into unconsciousness and heaving the beauty of now into the fire of the way things used to be. So sad the sacrifice of pleasure for the feigned fantasy of what was as it surely keeps us from recognizing that what we wanted then is here with us now. I beg your forgiveness as I search for some opening in your heart to the love I have in mine.

Do you care enough to find my love warm and embracing as it is or have the walls we have created become so thick and mighty that we cannot see through them or dare to climb their lofty heights? Do you shrink from my touch out of such dislike for it or have I created that wall as well? Do you wish for me to be somewhere else? Do you wish for me to vanish down the trail beyond all that your eyes can see? You have created me as I was, I have created me as I am, and is it so impossible to ask that you see me as I see me not as you would have me be?

I have created you as I see you, to that I have no doubt. I love what I see, however, and despite the endless calls of my soul to part ways from you I simply cannot find it in my heart to do so. My soul wants what appears best for you, my heart wants what it knows is best for me. Who am I to argue with either? Should I bend to the wind of my own creation or stand firm on the rock that I know? I will stay sanely on my perch by your side, always wondering whether the dawn brings the day you will leave, the day you will say “I love you no more.”

At that moment I will shout to Heaven above “am I my brother’s keeper?” to which the Wind will whisper in the most patient repose “yes, you are”. So off I will let you fly to seek your love anew, and steadfastly I will stand in the Wind with my arms outstretched and my feet planted firmly on the Perch of What Is singing softly to my self “I will love you“.

For now I will cling to what I have, what I know, and pray the voices stop before they make more sense than what is all around me.

A Message of Love

January 14, 2010 / tomgrasso

This is a message to you. I don’t know you, I have never met you, but I certainly pray we meet at some place and time in the future. See, I love you, and have a need to know you.

You have judged your life to be tough, and at times you have judge it to be unlivable. You see nothing but disappointment in your life, you feel nothing but despair. You see joy through tears that have flooded your soul, you see happiness through the fires of agony found in your mind. There are times you wish to end it all, there are times you wish to lash out, there are times when you just don’t see a purpose to it all.

You have been hurt. You have been left behind. You have seen what you think is the best of people; a best that simply seems to suggest that the worst is the best you can hope for. You have tried to escape in many ways, yet nothing can keep you from the suffering you face with each passing second. At times things seem to be getting better, but the voice of despair is never far away, whispering in your ear about how things truly are. Your experiences have turned love and happiness into the illusion, a far-fetched dream that others may have, but for some reason it is not meant for you.

That is the generalization of the you you know. I am not far off. I can show you the blisters on my feet from wearing the shoes you now wear. I can show you the scars on my soul from taking the beatings you now take. I can offer you the hand that once come out of the fire to grab me and keep me from falling prey to it. Yet I warn you that only you can open your eyes to see, and only you can grasp the hand offered to love you.

I have to meet you. You have to meet me. I am you in the future, you are me in the past. Our causes of torture may be different, but the effects are the same. The torturer is the same, the methods similar, the results to be determined. But I ask you a question I have asked myself time and time again, “To WHOM do you owe this moment?”

You can answer me if you wish. Do you owe this moment to those who have left you? Do you owe this moment to those who have hurt you? Do you owe this moment to the voice of despair that haunts you? Do you owe this moment to your self and the happiness that is within you at this very moment? Decide, my friend, for the next moment depends on what you create this one. You remain the Creator, the voice of light in a chorus of darkness; all created by you and all you love to hate. You have created all that you see now, and you have even created the blame on others you have used. You have created the attachment to one reality and created the veil that covers the other. You are the Creator my friend, you created the pain, you created the tools of torture, you created the torturer. You have created the imperfect from the perfect, the fear from love, the despair from experience. Take heart, since you have created this reality you can simply create another, this time in the full knowledge that it will be as you wish it to be. You will be aware this time, and you will focus on the higher vision you have for yourself and this existence.

Perhaps you will find that things now are what you wish to create. That is fine, I do not judge these things as bad or good but rather just creations that are. I can see suffering as the path to happiness in the full knowledge that it does not work that way in reverse. I can see it all as necessary if you know what you want and take full ownership for its creation. You own it, it is yours, and it is perfect.

Confusion

January 14, 2010 / tomgrasso

Today I seem to be led down the path of “confusion”. Over the last few weeks I have felt confused, and in my morning meditation I focused on the act of my confusion and what the effects of such confusion have been on my existence. As I laid still, the wrappings of confusion began to unravel, a process that continues with this writing. In fact, the process may actually be the cause I this writing.

As we walk down a long path, it seems quite normal to get disoriented from time to time. We look around us, and whichever thought our egos may give us at that moment we become fixated on. We assign the place where we are a judgment, and in that judgment create the place where we are at that moment. Perhaps that moment seems scary to us in ego, so the area around us becomes scary. Perhaps we judge it as beautiful, so the area becomes beauty. Perhaps we see it is hot or cold, wet or dry, dark or light. Whatever we see it as we create it to be, and as we create it to be it becomes.

To the mind that has seen a glimpse of Being the judgments created by our egos can be quite confusing. This seems to suggest that while we have a taste of Being on our palettes, we are still have an attachment to outcome. Ego may say “this place is miserable” while Being says “this place is perfect” and the resulting attachment to either creates confusion in us.

One of ego’s jobs is to get you to “forget” Being (that part of you that is God). It has the benefit of the instilled education we get from our parents and our society; our culture and our faith. Ego is a gift of Creation; the resulting attachment to it is a gift of our environment. Therefore, for many of us ego has a vast head start on Being, a head start to which many do not get a chance to overcome in one lifetime. It is no small wonder that we get confused when Being finally begins to “catch up”. We only know one way, have only lived one way, have only created in one way, and now a voice from within asks us to Be different.

We then taste that Being. We drink from its cup and we ask for more. Ego then does its job, and the cup becomes dirty, or the Source tainted, or the taste bitter. Yet, the cup is at is always was, allowing us to make of it whatever we choose, and allowing the taste to be of our own Creation. What is needed now is focus, the will to see the cup as it is, and to allow the voice of ego to be without the attachment to create for us what it instructs. Is the cup dirty? Is the Source tainted? Is the taste bitter? The answer doesn’t really matter if we have no attachment to it.

The key to Knowing then, it would appear to these open eyes, is non-attachment to EVERYTHING. Then days become neither good nor bad, happy nor sad, full nor empty. Ego will continue its purpose. It will still whisper in your ear and pull the strings of your mind, but when you are not attached to its calls you need heed none of its demands. Ego will then become frustrated as it is on the days when you now feel “confused”, although with your lack of attachment you will no longer own such confusion. You will be free…

Such is the call of Being in me now. I have heard it, and in such knowing will have the experience. I will be free.