Author: tomgrasso (Page 21 of 38)

Light of Love

July 2, 2010 / tomgrasso

I do but see those parts of All,
That were never seen before,
When your hand embraces mine,
It’s Love forevermore.

In deep and lost demanding times,
With such scoured memory,
To what my friend do I owe this thing,
As the love you’ve shown to me?

No judgment’s breath, no standard’s bear,
Just be…just be…just be…
And what is left when this till is dry?
It’s the Love to set you free.

The Path to Heaven (our Source)

June 24, 2010 / tomgrasso

It is said that the path of heaven can only go through hell. If this experience is known, and the way to heaven is hell, then perhaps it must be reasoned that the path to hell is everywhere heaven is not. If one can see that there is no true duality in our existence unless we have created it, then one can see that there is, in fact, no place that heaven is not. Yet, perhaps the hell that we experience in heaven’s absence (or the veil that separates us from experiencing the heaven that we are in), is nothing more than our creation. It would be like a guppy in a large bowl who can only see the water saying “there is nothing but this water, no bowl, no air; nothing but this water”. The things beyond his grasp are not absent, they are simply not seen and therefore not known. If he has not seen it he cannot know it, and therefore cannot experience it. Yet it is there.

The path to heaven does not appear to me to be something we “get to”. We do not walk aimlessly through this life until we finally die and then see heaven. The guppy will eventually get to the bowl or the air if he just stays still. Encountering the bowl or air is not incumbent on any action on his part. Eventually the veil will be lifted. It is no different in our quest for that which we were told exists, but that which we can’t remember experiencing. We were there before we were “born” and will be there after we die because, in essence, we have never left it. Rather, we have created water to separate us from the bowl and the air. We wonder aimlessly through the water. We fight the currents and wonder why we haven’t moved or have fallen backwards. We dive to the depths and wonder where all the air is and, in fact, question whether the air exists at all. We create the veil of doubt because of our own actions if they don’t work out to the purpose we have also created. Yet, nothing changes but in your mind.

I believe Jesus was an enlightened man dealing with guppies swimming about. When he said to follow him, that he was the path to heaven, what exactly did he mean? Did he mean that being Christian got you to heaven? No, Christianity did not exist when Jesus did. Did he mean that preaching and teaching would get you there? No. So what did Jesus mean when he said to follow him to heaven?

Look at the stages that are known about Jesus. He lived as a man, learned his religion’s traditions and virtues, and then discovered an enlightened path along the way. He saw the bowl and the air and although he couldn’t tell you much about them, he knew not only how he got there but that they existed. So, he tried to tell us how to get there so that we could know, and thereby experience, heaven.

Heaven is all around us, but we can’t see it. It isn’t because it is some mystical place to which we are not privileged, but rather because of the veils of distraction we have created that block us from viewing it. Perhaps Jesus wished to offer us an extreme example of what is necessary to lift the veils and move beyond the distractions. Perhaps, as I believe, this is what he meant by “follow me”.

Jesus lived as a man. He fasted (ascetic), prayed (meditated), and practiced compassion and love. Those things alone are not enough to know heaven. In order to know something, you must first know its opposite. You know day because of night, light because of darkness, yin because of yang. Therefore, in order to know the paradise that is heaven, you must first know that suffering that is hell. I don’t believe that many of us could relate to Jesus’ life as “suffering”. We aren’t given that information (although fasting for 40 days and nights would seem to suggest some ascetic form of suffering). So we are given the extreme in order to understand that suffering must be part of any experience of heaven. Without it, we simply would not know what heaven was.

So Jesus suffered and died, which in my experience is an analogy for the suffering and death we face before knowing heaven. That can happen in this existence we call life without the death of the body. Death is nothing more than the lifting of the veils we have created in order to understand a much deeper reality; a reality that is, at its most quantum level, our Source. What we call “heaven”. I have died many times in this existence, and as each layer is removed I get closer to the core. As each veil is lifted I begin to see.

So, in effect, every path to heaven must go through hell. It doesn’t matter if you believe that Jesus existed as a man or see him as God. It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe that God exists or have a wonderful relationship with God. It remains the same for each of us.

Each Cell of a Tree is Just Like Me!

June 23, 2010 / tomgrasso

Observance is a gift that should not be overlooked. I love to just sit quietly and observe everything around me without interfering. It’s refreshing to see the universe spin around me, how it all works just exactly as it should. I can inhale and get air, I can exhale and give a gift. All without doing anything at all.

I was stuck, as has been the case a lot lately, sitting at an airport gate just waiting. Sometimes I find work to do, but this time I just wanted to sit and watch. Some people where hurriedly rushing about, others were taking their time, some had family and friends and others, like me, were alone. Some were sleeping, some were being frustrated for one reason or another, others were reading or watching TV. And some were just doing what I was doing – observing it all.

I realized something in a memory I had. I wondered if I viewed this activity from above if it would look like the video of the bloodstream I saw once. A rush of activity with each pulse of the heart followed by stillness. In that stillness there was still activity, and in the rush of activity there was stillness. It all seemed chaotic yet it all had beautiful purpose; an organization of creation inspired by what was necessary. When I viewed this video, as I viewed the activity around, me I realized that each component of this activity was individual in nature yet serving a much higher purpose. Each cell was itself, yet fulfilling a purpose it was created to fulfill. I have no idea whether or not that cell realized what it was doing, but I realized that it had very little choice no matter how much choice it thought it had. I must fulfill its purpose, for its purpose was being fulfilled with each passing moment.

With this, my mind shifted toward a tree. I love trees…they embody what I see as a “microcosm of existence”. Each tree has a component that is individual in nature yet cannot survive without the others. A branch is a branch. A leaf is a leaf. A trunk is a trunk. Roots are roots. They are individual components of the universal thing we call a “tree”, each integral to the other, each necessary for the other to fulfill its purpose. In this way, the purpose of the leaf is to give the roots an opportunity to live their purpose. It is no different when we view anything we can see in this existence; our ecosystem is built on this premise as is our entire universe. Everything serves everything else. Nothing serves everything and everything serves nothing. Light and darkness serve each other. Both are individual, yet cannot be without the other. It is a consistent theme in our universe.

Our greatest gift to the universe is just to be. The cell of a tree’s trunk doesn’t spend its time worrying about whether or not the cells of its root are working. They are too busy doing what they need to do. Our red blood cells don’t worry about what the white cells are doing, they are busy fulfilling their purpose. It isn’t selfishness to do what you intend to do because when you fulfill this purpose you provide a gift to others so that they may do the same. In this way, I am not an individual, but a part of a whole. I create so that you may create. You are so that I may be. Without each other we simply do not exist.

We are no different from the cells of a tree, or the cells of our own body. We are as temporary as every cell in our bodies (most of which renew every year). We were before we are and will be after were gone, as this existence is but a transition. A mighty oak was once a tiny seed, it just kept on fulfilling its purpose without question and will continue to do so even after it has fallen. We are no different, we are not separate, we are ONE.

So, as I write this on a plane I see all of the people around me. We are individuals, but one on a plane. I will look at the ground as we land and see the rush of activity coupled with beautiful stillness. I will see an entire universe below me, all necessary for it all to be. This story never ends, this story never dies, and this story never gets old. After all, it is our purpose.

“I Did Not Know” (A Practice of Inspiration)

June 21, 2010 / tomgrasso

I simply did not know. I felt the energy the first time our eyes met; like the shock of cold water running down my sunburned back it felt oh so good while exposing what was oh so bad. I needed it, I needed you but was not ready. Or so it seemed. I was an infant, and there you were demanding that I run when I had so much to learn before I could walk. You weren’t demanding, I was demanding. I could have let you go to your own wonders, yet I selfishly demanded that you walk this path with me. I was begging for it to be whole; the voice within me saying “this is it” while the voices around me were saying “this is over“. So I ran, blistering my feet softened by self-loathing. So I ran, abrading my knees with each stumble, scarring my legs with each fall. So I ran, until you were broken and I was healed. I learned to run before I learned to walk and I forced you to crumble with the stench of my fear. The fear that kept me still even as my legs were making the motions you required of me…of what I had to require of myself. I ran as to not lose you. I ran as to not have to let go of the only piece of me that felt real.

Yet I did not know. The tear-stained site of where your smile once stood remained proof of my ignorance. My longing heart broken by the steel coursed remembrances of time simply did not know how to beat. Such pitiful displays of weakness bound us together by sheer force of will – shear force of fear of what lie on the other side of knowing. My sheer force was destructive; yours moved mountains. My force caused pain; yours created love. My will laid barren a once beautiful oasis; yours spawned life anew from a craggy cliff.

So what do I owe this practice of inspiration, this creation brought from the example you have given me? Your love, my dear, the cooling spring in the desert, the chilly breeze on a hot summer’s day. Your steadfastness in the most uncertain of times; your example of what love is in the midst of a torrent of fear. My hand is all I have to offer, my heart is all I have to give. It is yours as I have no need for it beyond you. Perfection is not my middle name and sorrow follows me as surely as this shadow reminds me of who I am without the Light. Yet now I know, for you have shown me. Now I know.

All I know I learned from you. Others taught me fear, you taught me love. My life had been a story of suffering, you gave me an opportunity to see. I am but a sapling, but you helped me break through the soil. I did not know how great life could be until I realized how bad it was. How bad I was making it. Yet from that seed nurtured by what Love Is I stand, a sapling in the woods with you as my Sun, my Rain, my subtle air. I inhale in joy as I bask in the Love you have given me. I feel your touch as I enjoy all that being is spirit provides. In this I know.

What was born from what I did not know I surely now know. I did not always see this sun, I sometimes lose sight of the way, yet from the darkness I stand still and all I need do is listen. Listen for you. Yes, now I know. I am home wherever I can hear you.

The Stone Cutter

June 21, 2010 / tomgrasso

I received this story from a Facebook friend and was so touched by it that I felt it worth sharing.

The Stonecutter
Author Unknown

There was once a stone cutter who was dissatisfied with himself and with his position in life.

One day he passed a wealthy merchant’s house. Through the open gateway, he saw many fine possessions and important visitors. “How powerful that merchant must be!” thought the stone cutter. He became very envious and wished that he could be like the merchant.

To his great surprise, he suddenly became the merchant, enjoying more luxuries and power than he had ever imagined, but envied and detested by those less wealthy than himself. Soon a high official passed by, carried in a sedan chair, accompanied by attendants and escorted by soldiers beating gongs. Everyone, no matter how wealthy, had to bow low before the procession. “How powerful that official is!” he thought. “I wish that I could be a high official!”

Then he became the high official, carried everywhere in his embroidered sedan chair, feared and hated by the people all around. It was a hot summer day, so the official felt very uncomfortable in the sticky sedan chair. He looked up at the sun. It shone proudly in the sky, unaffected by his presence. “How powerful the sun is!” he thought. “I wish that I could be the sun!”

Then he became the sun, shining fiercely down on everyone, scorching the fields, cursed by the farmers and laborers. But a huge black cloud moved between him and the earth, so that his light could no longer shine on everything below. “How powerful that storm cloud is!” he thought. “I wish that I could be a cloud!”

Then he became the cloud, flooding the fields and villages, shouted at by everyone. But soon he found that he was being pushed away by some great force, and realized that it was the wind. “How powerful it is!” he thought. “I wish that I could be the wind!”

Then he became the wind, blowing tiles off the roofs of houses, uprooting trees, feared and hated by all below him. But after a while, he ran up against something that would not move, no matter how forcefully he blew against it – a huge, towering rock. “How powerful that rock is!” he thought. “I wish that I could be a rock!”

Then he became the rock, more powerful than anything else on earth. But as he stood there, he heard the sound of a hammer pounding a chisel into the hard surface, and felt himself being changed. “What could be more powerful than I, the rock?” he thought.

He looked down and saw far below him the figure of a stone cutter.

Just a lovely story, uncompromising in both its simplicity and its message.

The Awakening

April 13, 2010 / tomgrasso

There are times when the journey takes us to unexpected places where the events of the moment do not seem to be so enlightened, or peaceful, or ordained as those we would not rather forget. Yet, as we overlook those moments we can find purpose in them. Yesterday was such a day for me, a day part of me would much rather forget, a day in which it appeared I was on a rain-slicked path spinning my wheels and going nowhere but backward. Yet today, at the dawn of a new beginning, I can view those moments from where I am and not where I expected to be. I can see purpose, and embrace that purpose.

It began Sunday night with dreams that kept me up most of the night. I can’t say I was particularly horrified at any of them, but they just kept waking me up. Dreams don’t ordinarily have a frightful effect on me; I see them as pathways to another time or existence and often just allow them to be in my mind until they fade away. Yet those dreams had a compounding effect on me throughout the day, causing me to create sadness, anger, frustration and hopelessness in me. Late last night I struggled with whether to write about that day or not, wanting to protect the innards of my mind from the light that stings it. Yet, as I awoke this morning I felt as if the light was the only thing that could save me from my mind. I decided to share.

The dreams continued last night. They are not necessarily linear; they seem to be random examples presented to me of continuous anger, fear and frustration. Yet I woke up with a renewed sense of purpose, as if the voice I heard in the background telling me to “keep focus on that which you are” rang true beyond the events going on around me in my dream-state. It didn’t start that way on Sunday night, but it ended that way last night.

The most vivid dream I had on Sunday night was both frustrating and saddening to me. I was at a campfire on a beach somewhere. It was both cold and hot, with the air being frigid enough to turn my breath white but also being warmed by the searing heat of the fire. A group of people I know (who will remain nameless) are beating on someone I don’t know, or may know. The man being beaten kind of looks like me, but it is too hard for me to tell…although in my dream’s mind I wonder if it is me somehow. They are hitting him with bats, fists, and kicking him with thuds so loud it would seem to shake the earth around us. The victim is not protesting, he is only smiling…an eerie vision of pain being overcome by pure joy. I wish I could say “they” were beating him, but I must say “we” were, and it seemed as if the beating was happening only to stop him from the simple act of smiling.

I can still feel the sadness in my heart as I beat on him. I could hear a voice inside of me telling me to stop, but there was a much louder voice of fear telling me that if I stopped I would be next. So I joined in, pretending to laugh with the others, pretending that I wasn’t suffering at my own hand, pretending that none of it mattered. The sweat on my body from the effort chilled me, and I could feel as if I was freezing under the might of my own effort.

Then I woke up. I rubbed my face, and silently said a “what the fuck” before closing my eyes and stilling myself back to sleep. The other dreams were not as long (as I remember them), and not as vivid. Each time I woke up I felt a bit more frustration, a bit more anger, and a LOT more sadness. It seemed as if the purpose of me sleeping was self-torture, and if the purpose of waking was to inspect the wounds. At one point, it was about 3am, I wondered if I should stay awake only to wake up again at 4:13 asking the same question. I could not stay awake although I did not want to fall asleep.

So I woke up a bit later than usual on Monday. I showered, and began work as usual, but felt as if I could explode any moment. I felt exhausted, wondering what tragedy was about to hit me like a train and expecting to be hit on the head by the sky at any moment. I can say that most of the anger and fear were gone in me, replaced by a complete feeling of sadness, remorse and a distinct feeling of worthlessness. Was it the dreams that got me to this or where the dreams helping me get over this? That question finally popped into my head as I lay down reading the book Jesus by Deepak Chopra. I wondered if this book had caused the dreams, perhaps triggering some hidden emotion in me that was being released in my subconscious. Regardless of “how?” the question became “why?” as I sought to discover the cause of suffering within me.

I have to say that in my meditation before falling asleep I begged for an answer. What was it about these dreams that caused me to feel such enormous sadness and worthlessness? Was I sad because I felt worthless or worthless because I felt sad? I firmly believe in working hard to focus on that inner voice within us. It tells us all we need to know. I can see throughout my life all of the distractions I have created in order to not listen to that voice. I can see ego’s clear purpose in distracting us from our “inner God” so that we may create situations that make that “inner God” shine through. The trick is never in identifying those distractions or even in hearing the voice within, but in being able to find focus on it and in maintaining that focus. That is where I fail mightily (if there is such a thing as failure in this regard). I have identified that voice, and can hear it clearly, but somehow manage to be distracted more often than not. I get lost in inane arguments about politics, religion, finances with others. Yet, the clear distraction comes within me. My need to talk…my need to be heard…my need to discover distracts me from my need to create and my need to just simply “be”.

Psalm 46:10 states it clearly. “Be still and know that I am God”. I used to focus on the “still” part. It has been my experience that stillness is the only action necessary to know God (and you would be amazed at what you find when you find “God”). The recurrence of the “dream by the fire” last night caused me to focus on another part of this psalm in my mediation this morning. “Be”. The command in this Psalm is not “still”…the command is “be”. The action is not “still”, the action is “be”. It would appear to me that I have had it all wrong…that stillness is not where you find God…it is where you know God. To find God you must “be” and in stillness you know the God you find in Being. All things of God come from what you find in the presence or absence of stillness. If all depends, of course, on how you seek to define God.

As I said, the dream did return last night. It was a bit more vivid than the night before. There was the hot fire raging before me, with my focus being distracted from this light by a group of people beating on someone. I grabbed a pallet board and headed over to be “one of the crowd” with the nervous excitement anyone who has ever engaged in violence feels. Yet, I looked at the man prone on the ground, smiling, I felt the sadness again. Yet, I didn’t feel sad for him. He was still smiling and finding joy in this moment. He was being hurt, no doubt about it, but he wasn’t suffering. He was accepting who we were even as we weren’t accepting who he was. He was accepting where he was and what was being done. This enraged the crowd who simply seemed to want to beat the joy out of him. I could imagine this is how Jesus felt during his torture. Although he felt pain he did not suffer. Jesus suffered before his arrest as he struggled to accept. Once he accepted that the cup would not pass, the suffering ended. This must have enraged the Romans so used to defiance shriveling before their torturous methods. Acceptance can end the suffering in one but magnify it in another who refuses to accept.

I realized at this moment in my dream that I didn’t feel sadness for him, but for us. I felt such enormous grief for those like me at that moment who felt a need to torture and hurt a person not like them. I felt sad for me for being so distracted by the crowd as to lose sight of who I was. I felt the remorse of a million pounds bear down on me. I wondered if any Roman torturer felt this feeling as he beat the life out of a man who simply accepted the moment.

I dropped the board I was holding as walked through the crowd. Everything stopped just long enough for me to lie down next to the man. Again, he looked like me but with a straggly goatee that went down to his nearly his chest. He was bald, but was too bloody and swollen for me to say for sure that I was looking at myself. I just have a feeling that this was me…and my focus clearly stayed on the two of us for the moment we were allowed.

“Hello, brother” was all the man said. We both smiled and…

I awoke.

The questions immediately popped into my head in the darkness of an early Tuesday morning. Do I wish to be the Romans or the man? Do I wish to be the meek or the powerful? Do I wish to inherit the earth or die trying to hold on to what is not permanent and not mine to hold on to? Do I wish to be eternal or restricted to time? What is my focus? That’s the great thing about purpose. It never ends, not even with the death of my body or the death of my thoughts. The purpose of light will always be to shine; the purpose of darkness will always be to define the light. There have rarely been greater moments of joy than what is in my heart this moment. I may be challenged. I may lose focus. But purpose? Well that I can never lose.

Namaste.

The Changes Love Has Made in Me

April 10, 2010 / tomgrasso

I so wish that you could see,
The changes Love has made in me,
Into this world I was born anew,
Conceived by Love first found in you.

Darkness truly helped me find,
The sunshine that now lights my mind,
For what was once a spec of light,
Has now restored a blind man’s sight.

I thank you here through art and pen,
And beg of you to live for Now…not then,
Know me now so you can see,
The changes Love has made in me.

Two Peas in a Pod

April 3, 2010 / tomgrasso

I watch others move as if drones,
going about their rituals in some repetitive fashion,
creating drama where there is none
as if that is a cure for their mundaneness.

I see some obsessed with thoughts,
telling themselves through demanding of others
that somehow they have the answer
to the evils of the world.

They judge themselves through their judgments of others,
they complain about themselves when they forget who they are,
they hate themselves as they bomb others into submission,
this hate cleverly disguised as some dramatic love they swear to so strongly.

They act with bravado when at their weakest,
they protest in others the same in themselves.
They work so damn hard to be separate from One,
then eagerly complain about the suffering that difference provides.

I shake my head in utter disbelief and then…
I realize I am staring at others as others are staring at me.
We are all shaking our heads at the other’s dismay
Two peas in a pod as the wise like to say.

I am not separate from you.
You are not separate from me.
We are no different except in that which we create.
You are my blessing, you give me the opportunity to see what I am,
I have always just needed to look, to see, with eyes so shut as to see for the very first time.

Imagine if I could just experience that which I know.
That you are me and I am…you.
Do the branches of one tree hate each other?
Do the droplets of water in the ocean push each other away?
Do two peas in the pod share such wisdom this way?

Ask

April 2, 2010 / tomgrasso

Do I stop this insane projection of what I think?
That which some will call “preaching”?
Do I hide such light under a basket or simply let it be
For others to read by or choose to ignore?

I ask God simply,
“Why do I have this need to speak”?
God’s reply was equally simple,
“You are.”

I have such need to breathe
Although I never asked for it.
I have such need for my soul to escape its bounds,
Although I never asked for it.
I long for silence, that I ask for…
Yet it does not come,
I am looking for it in the wrong place.

I am stuck with the noise,
Though I did not ask for it.
I am stuck with the memories of suffering past,
I did not ask for them.
I long for acceptance, that I ask for…
Yet it does not come,
I am looking for it in the wrong place.

The sun surely never asked to light the world,
Yet it does.
The earth surely never asked to be killed by us men,
Yet it is.
My mouth never asked to utter one word,
My hand never asked to write one phrase,
Yet it will. Yet it does.

God says,
“Why do you question your purpose?”
I say, “because others tell me to”,
We laugh at the thought.
Does the earth question why it spins?
Does the moon question why it lights the night sky?
Do the stars ask why they define the void?
Perhaps not, they know no better.
They have not yet met those who do.

We tend to think purpose a constant.
Yet it seems to change like the seasons.
Somedays it is the purpose of the clouds to rain,
Others it is to snow.
So my purpose today may be to rain,
Tomorrow it may be to snow.
Next week it may be to just remind us of how much we love the sun.
Yet I cannot stop being a cloud,
Just as you cannot stop judging what I should be.

So this I say…
You may hate me for my words.
You may ignore me for my thoughts.
You may simply love me for who I am,
or seek to change me for who you are.
You may hold me for my warmth you see,
or shun me for all my cold you feel.
You may simply want me for what I am,
or turn your back on me for what you think.
Yet I will be…me.

Perhaps one moment I will be who you ask me to be.
Perhaps that moment I will not be who others need me to be.
Who has the right to complain in that moment?
I will not be you…I cannot be you
I must be me…
Is it selfish to breathe as I must?

Is the sun selfish to shine as it does?
I guess if you get warm from it it is not,
Yet if you allow yourself to be burnt it is.
The sun just shines…we create in it what we wish to see.

Are we selfish for expecting them to be different?
While we focus on speck in the eyes of others,
the beam in our own surely grows dark.
Are we selfish for Being?
Or are we selfish for expecting others to be
what we ask them to be?

Be LOVE

March 28, 2010 / tomgrasso

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XRPUSaNwDM&w=560&h=349]