What you feel is life, what you live is another story.

Author: tomgrasso (Page 19 of 38)

My Love

I have hardly but stood in your glow
My Love,
Before the darkness falls upon me
And I begin to stare aimlessly into Nothingness.

There are but few things to comfort me
My Love,
Yet as I inhale the chill of thoughts born yesterday,
You are the feint fragrance of hope that warms my soul.

Though as dark and uncomfortable as I am
My Love,
I do find you the Light and you the Warmth,
That brings me back to Joy’s reality.

Who am I to hide these things
My Love?
Does the Sun pretend to be the moon?
Or the Sea pretend to be the cause of its mighty tide?

The answers to all of this
My Love,
Is found in the joy of your simple touch,
In the shiver that touch shoots through my Soul.

I cannot pretend to be anything but
My Love,
Lost in a place devoid of all you are,
Yet found in the knowledge that you are not that.

And torn between the two.

Such an easy choice it seems
My Love,
Yet nothing has been so hard as to choose
Between who I am and who I wish to be.

Into your hands I come
My Love,
Never to be parted as the fault lines fade,
We are, we share, we give birth to
Love.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

The Sun and the Earth

Today, when we look at the moon and the Earth, we see a beautiful relationship.  The Earth faithfully orbits the Sun, reflecting the Sun’s light magnificently for the universe to see.  The Sun gives us light and warmth with a promise to shine for a billion tomorrows. That, however, was not always the case.

For once upon a time the Sun and the Earth had a much different relationship.  The Sun was angry; sending destructive flares outward into the cosmos.  The Sun burned intensely as all young stars did, searing nearby planets and destroying all that came near him.  The Sun became lonely, but still could not help himself as his heat and intensity caused all in the universe to avoid him.  The Sun was a product of the explosion that created him, and he knew no better because he was just the Sun acting like the Sun he was created to be.

The Earth was peaceful and calm aside from the occasional temper tantrums and changes that came with experience.  She steadily went about her business as she grew, becoming quite a stable planet as time went by.  Objects from all over the cosmos were drawn to her, but eventually they collided with her and caused her great pain.  She felt alone until one day she discovered the Sun.

Other planets had tried.  Mercury came alone at the wrong time and got too close.  She became a barren wasteland and laid to waste by the intensity of the sun’s heat.  Venus too had tried, but she also got too close to the Sun’s youthful intensity.  Other planets stayed further away, and while they were magnificent in the their own way they could not enjoy the benefit of the Sun, whom they feared.  Those planets were cold and distant, and while beautiful they remained unable to enjoy the warmth.

The Earth was different.  She loved the Sun.  At first she was drawn to him by his size and intensity.  The Sun also loved the Earth.  He enjoyed her beauty and the way she she seemed to love him back.  He didn’t feel threatened by her as much as he felt threatened by the memories of what brought him here, to this place and time.  He did all he could to get her to stay away, yet their love would always draw them closer.

As she got closer to the Sun his intensity began to burn her.  His flares would scorch her surface and she would show great pain.  The Sun looked around the universe and saw places that would be much better for the Earth, and in this pain there would be another flare and more pain for the Earth.  “Sun, I need you to end these flares or I will have to go away,” she would say.  The Sun tried and tried, and soon the flares became less and less until they faded away.

“Sun, I need you to stop being so bright,” the Earth said.  So the Sun tried and tried until his once blinding light became a faint glimmer.  “I need you to be less hot,” said the Earth.  So the Sun tried and tried until his once searing heat became more bearable to the Earth.  Yet, as time went on, that one bright part of the universe became darker.  The universe all around the Sun became a frigid wasteland.  The stars shone less brightly, and even the moon went dark.  Even the Earth herself became cold and bored as the Sun worked day and night to be, well, not the Sun.

One day the Sun just could not help it.  He exploded with a fury, sending light far and wide around him.  The moon shined, and the Earth became amazed at the beautiful universe around her she could only see as the Sun shined brightly.  She looked at him and saw his absolute brilliance.  She decided at that moment something that changed them both forever.

“Sun,” she said, “I want you to shine.  I want you to be warm.  I want you to be who you want to be.”

“But won’t that hurt you?” asked the Sun.

“You will be who you need to be and I will be who I need to be.  We need to love each other as we are if we are ever going to survive in this place.  You were created for a reason as was I, and we need to love that purpose as much as we love each other.”

The Sun understood, and in his appreciation and love shined just enough for the earth.  During the day, she could bask in his his warmth and his light and at night she could see the beauty of the universe around her because of the light he was.  As the Sun looked out upon the universe, he could see the coldness and the danger, but in his love he learned how to provide the right amount of light and warmth for the Earth.  Every once in a while he would send out a flare to protect her, and she had even learned how to stay close to him even when he was simply being the Sun.  

They had learned harmony through disharmony, love through egoic selfishness, peace through suffering.  Soon, miraculous things began to happen.  Life became abundant on the Earth.  The Earth and the Sun together provided for these miracles; miracles born of the love shared between two unlikely things who allowed each other to be. 

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Morning Inspiration 10/5/2010


Freedom is not the pathway to love, love is the pathway to freedom.  Happiness is not the key to acceptance, acceptance is the key to happiness.

And so began my morning in such clarity as to need no interpretation or thought.   It just was, as clear as the sky on a cloudless morning.  You never know when such moments of clarity will come so you just embrace them as they open themselves to you.  Is it possible that these moments are always there but we cover them with layer upon layer of meaningless stuff?  

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

That is Love

When you stand alone on a beach,
And you feel the breeze,
And the water tickling your toes,
That is love.

When you stand as just another part of a crowded beach,
And you feel the breeze as the water tickles your toes,
And you feel contentment in the multitude around you,
That is love.

When you walk among the trees,
And you can hear their leaves rustle,
While  basking in the warmth of the sun,
That is love.

When you open your heart to another,
Regardless of who he is or what he has done,
And you stand in complete absence of judgment,
That is love.

When you stand upright like a blade of grass,
Struggling for nothing but enjoying all you are,
Embracing the ground, the sky and the space between,
That is love.

When you are angry or shudder in fear,
When you hate those not like you,
That part of you who sees this,
That is love.

Love is the rain and the sun,
Love is the silence and the sound,
Love is the patience and the impatience,
Love is the seer and the blind,
Love is yin and yang and the space between them.

So when you cry out loud for it all to end,
Or smile in unbridled ecstasy,
When you fail or succeed or sin or forgive,
That is love.

Peace. 

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Can’t

Can’t you hold me for just one moment more?
Can’t you tell me that I am needed,
That I am wanted, That I am as great as you?
Can’t you find your greatness in me as I have in you?

“I can’t my love.
I can’t see that you are needed,
I can’t see that I want you, I can’t be but numb in your arms.  
I can’t see that you are great, only that I am greater without you.”

Can’t you touch me one more time?
Can’t you comfort me in this, my hour of need?
Can’t you see that I am desperate, That I am completely lost?
Can’t you find your way as you lead me to my own?

“I can’t my love.
I can’t stand the feel of you or the sight of you,
I can’t find the means of comforting that which you are,
I can’t be found as long as you are the veil that covers me.”

Can’t you just forgive me of my sins,
Can’t love me so I sin no more?
Can’t you see that I have no quit in me, That I will lose?
Can’t you rejoice in the effort that is made in love?

“I can’t my love,
I can’t forgive what I can’t forgive nor indulge in some Love Boat fantasy,
I can’t see anything but a loser,
I can’t rejoice in that which can only fail.”

Can’t you?
I can’t.
Won’t you?
I won’t.
The end.

 
©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Psalm 1:2

There is no one coming for me,
No loving whisper in the night,
Just blackness, deep and lonely.

He took up his cross at an early age,
He fell, fell, and fell again with each labored step,
Horrid dreams, eternal and consuming.

There are no heroes in a lonely song,
No saint to wipe this suffered man’s face (she has turned away),
Just fantasy, angry and unforgiving.

You have your bridge you fear to cross,
And he had the scenes replayed within his mind,
What you feel as you stand on the wooden span he has felt a million times,
What you see he has seen countless times before,
Yet you behave in a way he has no right to in a reaction he is not allowed to have.
You would leave him in the darkness for what he has seen,
You would cast him aside as if he never tried for the love of his life,
You would pretend you never knew.

Get beaten at the bridge a thousand times,
Have memories there burned into your soul a thousand times more,
Then have what you love say “no” in remembrance of how it destroyed you,
Have what you desire reject the very sight of you because of what it did to you,
Then tell me fair saint, how do you turn away if not because you do not love?

It was love that offered the veil,
It was love that left the imprint.
It was your rejection that caused either to be necessary.

He created himself a monster, and a monster he became.
Such thick skin was needed in order to survive,
You would never have known a dead and rotting boy,
Your treasures would not be there to hold had the monster never lived.
Yet you pretend so easily it is a demon, you never see that it has died,
You are too busy creating it over and over and over again,
So that the monster lives, if nowhere else then in your ability to reject what created it.

“My God, My God, why hath thou forsaken me?”
“Because I can.”
“It is finished.”
“It was finished before it started, it is not I who created you it was you who created me.”
And so it is.  
And so it was.
And so it will always be.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Psalm 1:1

I can no longer hide the essence of who I am.  The basket I’ve used is no longer thick enough. To share this light with the world; to be the guide toward whatever it is you seek; to strengthen you when you require; to weaken you when you demand; to comfort you when you request; to cause you pain when you need to feel something is my greatest purpose. 

You have torn from me that last great veil!  You have ripped from me the security I once sought with all my being and fed it to the wolves from which I once ran.  You have denied me the simplest pleasure while chastising me for seeking the greatest sin.  For who has that bell tolled if not for me?  Seek and you shall find without the slightest guarantee that what you find is what you were seeking in the first place.

With outstretched hands I beg of you.  Do not spare me from the slightest pain.  Do not keep me from the darkness.  Do not hamper me from the fall I must endure.  Allow me to bask in the darkness and embrace the suffering so that I may know what it is I am here for.  Allow the cup that you pass to press upon my lips.  Allow the nails to do their work.  Allow the taunts and unconsciousness of those around me to cause my wings to flutter uncontrollably.  It is for that you have created me; it is for that I have created my self; it is for that we have created each other.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

A quick thought inspired by a simple picture

I realize that part of man’s slide into the abyss began the moment he made food a “commodity”.  When that which is so freely given to us by the universe is made into something only those with money can enjoy we have lost something.  When the difference between life and death hang in the balance and some have the power to decide we have lost our way.

Not sure if we will ever get it right before the dawning of the New Earth but perhaps it is one but one sign of that sunrise.  When food is no longer bought or sold but given and taken freely we enjoy the first glimpses of light.  When we don’t eat beyond being full, take only what we need and give all that we have perhaps the day has begun.
 To us all that find peace in wanting may we soon find suffering in the desire.  

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

9/11/2001

Today I honor those who acted unselfishly in the service of others on 9/11/2001 (and all days) by acting unselfishly in the service of others.  I will follow their example by not becoming a slave to fear but by demonstrating bravery, by not seeking protection but by providing it, and by not discriminating in who can grab my outstretched hand.  Each act of terror allows for moments of bravery.  Each act of chaos allows for moments of order.  Each act of selfishness allows for moments of unspeakable selflessness.  Each act of fear and anger allows for those moments when the eternal flame of love can warm the soul.

The question will always be in our human existence, “To which end to I seek to serve?”

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

Too Late for Him

There is such a valley between us,
That once flowed a river of love and complexity,
Teeming with potential and abounding life,
Continuing the promise of surprising simplicity.

Ghosts now wonder where the living once stood,
Reminding themselves of their own importance,
Playing the game as if they invented the challenge,
Preying on time as if the next second were a guarantee.

The valley does hold in it the key but not in it the reality,
On one side there is a wall, 
Built by sorrowed hands and angry thoughts,
Maintained as if by some majestic memory.

On the other is a barren wasteland,
Waiting for the dam to break although not believing in the possibility, 
Remembering patiently the paradise that once flowed around it,
Trying hard not to forget that this hell is not all there is.

Has the ground become so dry that the touch of water sickens it?
Has the parched earth become so thirsty as to not remember being satisfied?
Do the darkened grasses so love their suffering as to not wish it all away?
To what, if anything, would the crazed blades do to become themselves again?

Again the valley does hold in it the key but not the reality.
It longs for the water being held from it but craves the dryness it now is.
It does not seem to wish what was to become what is,
It wishes what is to become what was in something new, something new, something new.

So off I go as a bird fleeing the burning bush,
No longer wanted to be what is or what was…but what will be.
Perhaps this valley does not want me anymore, perhaps I not it,
Perhaps the revulsion I cause of the ground around me sickens me as well.

I have died, more than once,
I have seen the world through tears and through smiling eyes,
I have tasted the salt of my heart and the fear of my mind,
Enough to know that one cannot live on dry bread alone.

So what to quench my thirst on this barren plain around me?
I look to the dam and simply say “fuck it”,
I look to the wasteland and say “fuck you too”,
I look to the sky and know that is the answer.

So begins the struggle to climb to my life’s highest peak,
Weathered feet and leathered hands long for something to hold,
Tired eyes see nothing as tired ears hear echoes from the past,
Calling out yet causing no pause in the ascension.

Alone I stand on one mountaintop overlooking that which is below,
I see across the vastness of what is yet another summit calling out to me,
I reach out to the promise of what could be but fall back again,
Such is the expanse, never seen as so vast until now as I try to bridge it.

I have seen the promised land but know in my heart I shall never kiss it.
Gone is the chance to live it, to die upon it, to become one with it for eternity.
For it plays me as surely as I play it, a game of hide and seek to which there is no winner,
Until the end when both are called the champion.

“He was such a good man” the valley will say,
“He did all he could to sew good seeds” the mountain will say,
“He always tried to be the best he could be” the sky will proclaim,
“Too late for him” say the worms on their feast, “Too late for him.”

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

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