Author: tomgrasso (Page 15 of 38)

"A smile is a light in the window of the soul, indicating that the heart is at home."~Unknown

Brady’s Bunch

August 1, 2011 / tomgrasso

Despite being only 4 months old, Brady DiMattesa has done a lot for the world. He has helped family members find each other. He has helped friends realize long-known but

“A smile is a light in the window of the soul, indicating that the heart is at home.” ~Unkown

relatively untested bonds. He has helped his parents rediscover the strength of love and the character of conviction while bringing strangers together into a community built on the same. He has also become the peaceful eye in a challenging storm, turning what is a tremendously stressful and daunting experience into what his mother calls “an experience beyond words.”

Brady has done all of this just by being born and living as only an infant can. He didn’t ask for the challenge, he just accepted it, and in doing so has helped others find themselves and each other. He laughs and smiles without having to tell his story of pain and suffering. He has no attachment to it and he lives in the moment. We could learn a lot from young Brady, and it seems that those around him have already learned plenty. They have learned about who they are, the value of human compassion in the face of enormous physical suffering, and the value of love and forgiveness in a time when the mind seems to focus only on the pain.

Here’s is only a part of Brady’s story.

A Miraculous Conception

Brady’s was a miraculous conception, one that his parents had accepted might never happen and one that occurred in the midst of the soul searching all struggling human relationships face. One night in the darkness Jennifer addressed her fear, frustration and desperation, and the answer came just as unexpectedly as had the tears in the night. Brady was an answer to a lonely prayer on a night when his mother simply had no choice but to face the hopelessness that had become her constant, yet unwanted, companion. After 7 years of marriage and countless attempts, it seemed the couple’s dream of having children of their own would never come true.

“I was at wit’s end, I simply was praying for an answer,” said Brady’s proud mom, Jennifer. “We just ended all medical intervention and accepted what was.”

It seemed Jennifer had reached a fork in the journey of life, and the response to her prayer was the news of her pregnancy. After years of medical fertility treatments and the resulting frustration, pain and sadness of those failures, it had come down to one soulful moment of introspection and an act of desperate love. It would be one of many such acts.

On July 18, 2010, Jennifer found out that she was pregnant. With guarded optimism Jennifer and her husband, Gary, faced what would be a very high-risk pregnancy. She was monitored by doctors constantly during her pregnancy amid test after test. In fear of yet another failed pregnancy, Jennifer refused to name her baby boy, or even look at the nursery. Yet the couple endured. This was their chance to have the family that had eluded them.

World Meet Brady, Brady Meet World

Jennifer and Brady

The miracle that was Brady came into the world on March of 2011 on what Jennifer describes as “the happiest moment of our lives by far”. In a very short period of time the couple had gone from despair and hopelessness to elation and pure joy. Jennifer’s prayers had been answered in the newborn boy who she now held in her arms. What was once nothing but a hopeless dream had now been born, and it was only the beginning.

Immediately after Brady was brought home from the hospital, however, his parents noticed something wasn’t right with him. He would spit up 20 times or more each day. He would have many choking episodes, the scariest of which caused him, according to Jennifer, “to turn blue and stop breathing.”

Jennifer says it wasn’t long before doctors discovered Brady had an aggressive allergy to standard baby formula. Since Jennifer can not breast feed due to a medical treatment, this caused doctors to switch Brady to EleCare, a specialized and very expensive prescription formula not covered by their family health plan. Unfortunately, this is the only formula Brady can take, says Jennifer, and even though the manufacturer of EleCare, Abbott Pharmaceuticals has provided some formula, the cost of what is not provided is staggering.

“(Brady) wasn’t gaining weight,” says Jennifer, and since the formula was their only alternative they had no choice but to bear the costs to help their son.

This would not end the nightmare for Brady or his parents, however. Even though the EleCare kept Brady nourished, he would still scream in pain, often contorting his body while displaying strange hand and eye movements. He would projectile vomit, often choking. He would wheeze and sneeze, his parents watching him suffer helplessly while doing all they could to help him. The doctors, again, seemed to be of little help.

“He was always rashy and in a lot of pain, “said Jennifer.

The couple would rush Brady to specialist after specialist but to no avail.

“The specialists were no help. Each time something would happen to him he appeared better by the time we got him to the doctor. His pediatrician was amazing, but the specialists we took Brady to just could not help the pediatrician put the puzzle together.”

Jennifer also says that an important lesson she learned was that communication with your doctor is a must.

“Sometimes he(the pediatrician) and I would agree to disagree, but he was always willing to hear me out and he did his job,” Jennifer adds. Trust is an important factor in the patient (parent) – doctor relationship, and Brady’s pediatrician had certainly earned hers.

Brady in the Moment

Still, the journey from one specialist to another continued, with Jennifer and Gary trying to find one that would be able to help their son. Jennifer even resorted to videotaping Brady’s attacks to show the specialists, which seemed to be the only way she could communicate and validate what was happening to her infant son. Even with that, there seemed to be little the doctors were willing to do.

Brady’s parents had finally had enough. After watching their infant son suffer horribly Jennifer decided to demand further medical testing on him. She felt alone, as if no one was taking her or her son’s condition seriously. There were no answers, so Jennifer decided to turn hopelessness and frustration into action, just as she had on that lonely night some months before.

“The doctors finally agreed to hospitalize Brady for further testing,” she said.

While Brady was hospitalized with an initial diagnosis of gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), no symptoms appeared. Without symptoms, doctors at the hospital refused to follow the pediatrician’s recommendations for testing so Brady was sent home with the same diagnosis he was admitted with, but no real satisfaction for his parents that his medical issues had been resolved.

There were more prescriptions, but little results.

Within hours of returning home, Brady started to experience the same debilitating symptoms as before. While traveling for the 4^th of July holiday, Brady’s conditioned lightened but returned in force as soon as they returned home. It seemed to Jennifer that something within their house was the culprit.

“I had suspected this before. Our house was making Brady ill.” Brady’s change in condition had confirmed her suspicions.

After what Jennifer says were “many more hours of phone calls and arguing with doctors” an appointment was finally made with a pediatric allergist. The results confirmed that Brady had a rare and severe case of environmental allergies.

“They tested him for allergies to dust, dogs, cats, cockroaches, and everything they tested him for came out positive,” says Jennifer.

The family immediately moved out of their home into a hotel room about 40 minutes away in the sprawling community of Deptford, NJ. Although he still has bouts with his many allergies, Brady is doing much better but the financial costs have been overwhelming.

“We live in a modest townhome in Logan Township, NJ. We have 7 and 9 year old cars. We live frugally in order to give to our son what he needs to survive,” said Jennifer.

Besides the costs of medical care, formula, and a hotel room, the family is also “gutting” their home in an attempt to sanitize the house so that Brady can return. Carpeting, window treatments, and bedding are being removed as may some of the subflooring that could have been contaminated by the family pets.

Gary continues to work every day while Jennifer organizes Brady’s day. Besides caring for her infant, Jennifer also takes Brady to all of his medical appointments, schedules the many follow-ups necessary to monitor Brady’s condition as well as organizing and overseeing the effort to sanitize the family home. In addition, the family has had to give up 5 cherished family members, 3 cats and 2 dogs. These pets served as “memorials” to significant life events the couple shared.

“They were our family, but we did what we had to do for our son,” Jennifer says somberly.

Jennifer also has to decontaminate herself after each trip to her home to monitor the work being done.

“I have to fear that any pet dander or materials may be on me when I get back to the hotel room.” Brady’s health depends on it.

The Blessing that is Brady

Jennifer wants to stress that Brady is not a source of frustration, sadness, anger or pity for

How we learn to count our blessings

the family.

“He has been a blessing to us. Despite what we are going through, he has given us so much joy, love and purpose.”

Part of this purpose is expressed in Jennifer beginning to start her own non-profit to help other families not only clear similar hurdles, but also empower them to face other challenges along the way.

“There is nothing you can’t learn from. Nothing you go through is an accident. Everything I have been through in my life has prepared me for this moment,” says Jennifer. “I have always tried to help others, and this experience has shown me how many people we can help without even having to go far to look.”

The experience has also shown her that people want to help. She has had anonymous donations that helped the family stay in the hotel room, for example. Her family and friends, many of whom she had lost contact with over the years, have appeared in her life to help. Strangers are doing what they can and asking for nothing in return.

“My family and friends are pulling together. Strangers from other states and other countries are reaching out to us. It’s been an amazing experience. We just look forward to the day when we can return home and begin our life as a family. I just want to be a mom.”

Jennifer is a mom whose experience has provided her with a purpose to help others in empowering themselves to clear similar hurdles.

“I want to pay it forward,” she says.

Jennifer has created a Facebook page called “Operation Bring Brady Home” that serves to bring awareness to Brady’s condition as well as a place where people looking to help can

Click and LIKE “Operation Bring Brady Home”

reach out. There are lists of companies who have helped, as well as information on what is needed given Brady’s special condition. Any assistance that can be provided is welcome, and can be something as simple as “liking” the Facebook page.

“A single click can have an impact,” says Jennifer. It’s something she’s learned in this experience, the slightest act can have enormous impact in just raising awareness to Brady’s condition as well as providing insight to others in need.

Looking at Brady’s beaming face in the many pictures of him on the site, one can see how lucky the world is to have him, and in hearing the resolve in his mother’s voice along with the dedication and love of his father one can see how lucky Brady is to have parents like these. They count their blessings in their little boy, their family and their friends as well as perfect strangers who offer a helping hand whenever possible.

Yes, despite being only 4 months old these are the gifts that Brady DiMattessa has offered the world. The world can look forward to a story that is yet to unfold, and an experience that can be drawn on for a lifetime.

The Debt Ceiling Crisis – A Lesson In Spirituality

July 29, 2011 / tomgrasso

While others are digging in to the ideological positions I have been simply watching. While some are calling each other names and suggesting that the “sky is falling” I have been stuck in observation mode simply taking it all in.

Now that ends. I have seen enough.

I am left rather exasperated by the shear infantile behavior of our political leaders and pundits stuck in their ideological camps. The are rolling around in their ideas of what is “right” like swine rolling around the mud in their pigsties. It’s like watching elementary school bullies pick on each other until one goes home crying. It simply is insanity at its worst.

For instance, allow me to paraphrase a conversation recently overheard on Capitol Hill:

The Hobbit (Source http://www.shockya.com)

Sen. McCain: “Tea Party members are like hobbits.”

Congressman Rand Paul: “Oh yeah, but you’re a troll.”

Sen. McCain: “This is the kind of crack political thinking that turned Sharron Angle and Christine O’Donnell into GOP Senate nominees.”

Um, excuse me kids, but don’t you have a job to do? While I may agree with McCain, wasn’t he the one who gave us all Sarah Palin? I mean isn’t there something I heard once about those in glass houses throwing stones? You betcha!

Now I don’t want to belabor the points that ideologues have presented countless times already on the issue. Between the endless news stories, tweets, Facebook updates, and forum posts I have read it is very clear to me. The points everyone is raising aren’t the cure, they are part of the problem here. Things like the debt crisis are not problems, they are a symptom of a much larger disease.

The Diagnosis

“Calling Dr. Moe, Dr. Larry, Dr. Shemp” (Source Amazon.com)

We are infected hopelessly in a condition I term “human stupidioitis”. When I first used that term, I realized that I was saying “human stupid-eee-oh-itis”, but now realize that I was missing a consonant there. It should be “human stupid-idiot-itis” since that’s exactly what it is. We have become a species so addicted to our own ideas that we have redefined the entirety of the universe according to the ideas we have created of what it is. We have created God into an image of man, we have created pollution as “good”, we have created social responsibility as “redistribution of wealth” and we have created greed as a “gauge of success” (just to name a few).

I will leave it “human stupid-eee-oh-itis” for now. It just sounds so much more “medical” since it is nearly impossible to spell and to say correctly.

What is This Condition?

Modern man became what he thinks he is (notice the italics) today largely because of his frontal lobe (sorry opposable thumbs, but you aren’t the main reason we dominate the Earth). Our frontal lobes have allowed us to do all kinds of things, from pondering “what am I?” to finding cures for medical conditions to finally realizing that there is no money in a cure while riches await in the treatment. Our frontal lobes have created not only our abilities to save each other, but to kill each other. Yes, our frontal lobes have helped us truly understand what we think we are, and have given us ideas not only on who we are

Now, where did I leave my wallet?

but also on who everyone else should be.

Therein lies the root of the disease. The frontal lobe, to me, is an “idea creator”. I bet we didn’t have one when residing in Eden. In fact, we were so “idea-less” that it took a snake to have one for us and once Adam and Eve ate of the apple “wham-oh!!” there it was. It seems our first idea, if you believe the story of Genesis, was that our genitals were horrible and needed to be covered. So we covered them. It’s been all downhill from there.

In fact, I believe that if we all took off our clothes right now we would all be back in Eden. Just kidding…

I was recently asked what I believed the crux of the Bible was. I stated that when I shed all ideas that were given to me by my family, friends, acquaintances, clergy, teachers, and books I was left with only one idea that made sense to me.

“The entire Bible has only one moral, and that is that human ideas are harmful while acceptance to what is brings to you to God.”

I was thoroughly ridiculed on that one. I had made the statement to a group of Christians on an internet forum I frequent. It was probably the wrong group to suggest that the Bible was not anything other than pure, unadulterated fact. It turned out to be yet another idea that just smacked me in the face.

When you look at each and every event composing the debt crisis, it seems to mirror every other human crisis in history. When you look at it simply and without your own ideas you are left with one incontestable truth. We suffer from a disease of the mind and ideas are its tumors. Tumors that the mind has become reliant on not only for a sense of identity but also for the creation of what is commonly called “truth”. This truth, however, lacks any sense of the present moment. It only knows the present through the past. In this state of the disease, the present simply cannot exist without the past and therefore cannot stand on its own. Oddly enough, this condition is not dependent on the individual’s past for life, it also uses the past of everyone else. We call this condition, ironically enough, “conditioning”.

The Cure

I’d love to tell the world what the cure is. However, I have learned from my friends in the pharmaceutical world that there is no money in the cure, only in the treatment. In addition, I obviously have no idea how to cure the pain of ideas. So allow me to render you a treatment and hope that you will pay me for it. (Yes, I am laughing, and hope you are too. If not, email me and I will send you a Paypal link.)

Allow me to admit that I realize how idiotic I must sound here. First, I am presenting an idea (or several) about how harmful ideas are. Second, I am suggesting that I have no cure, but can provide a treatment. I have not evolved spiritually enough to follow the wise words of the Tao: “Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know.” Understandably I am torn on the prognosis as well as my inability to shut up about the disease.

Treatment #1 – Suffering

Most of us avoid suffering like the plague. Well, we think we do anyway. In fact, most of us are the creators of the conditions that create suffering even as we do our best to avoid the suffering itself. We simply ask for it and then feign ignorance when it falls on us like a brick.

In the case of our debt crisis, we have overspent our revenues for at least the last 10 years. We have ASKED for the debt crisis, and then act not only surprised that we have one but amazed at the consequences. Now, while most of us want to blame our political leaders, I don’t. I blame ME. Why? Well, I am part of the citizenry that has elected those bozos. They are in place with their ideas and tactics because I have put them there (“I” is collective here).

We have overspent our revenue. We have asked for debt under the incorrect assumption that governments MUST operate in the red. Both political parties (ideas) have done had their hand in this cookie jar, and neither seems to willing to end the insanity. They are, however, all too willing to end the other guy’s insanity. The easier of the two, healing thyself, is avoided in favor of the more difficult healing of thy neighbor. It’s a worldwide problem, and not one I can see as easily cured without the complete and utter collapse of governments, economies and cultures.

This will create suffering because of our unobstructed attachment to all human ideas. The suffering will lead to an understanding that allows Treatment #2 to be successful.

Treatment #2 – Removal of the Tumors

Meditation – The Surgery

If the mind is the patient, and ideas are the tumors, then meditation is the surgery necessary to separate the tumors from the patient. Ideas themselves will always be a part of the human mind much like pathogens are always part of the human body, but when we become unattached to those ideas we become free from the disease. It’s not that the tumors themselves won’t be floating around in our minds, it’s just that we won’t let them take hold and we won’t allow our minds to feed off them. They will vanish and have little effect on our present moments.

The treatments themselves are quite successful, at least they have been for me. Even the ideas I present here are not firmly fixed in my thoughts, they are experiences. Sharing experiences will always have much more truth for me than the sharing of ideas will. The more present the experience is the more truth I find in it. Because I can let go of this idea at any time experience provides me with a different one, I am not rooted in that idea and therefore am not “sick” with it. I can let it go at any time, or not depending on the experience of the present moment.

Prognosis

The doctor states that the patient is critical but that there are glimmers of hope. The world’s consciousness is shifting, and the collective enlightenment is near. When I was a young boy, I would often see the Urban Jesus (my name for him) with a sign that said “Repent, the End is Near”. An idea evolved within me that suggested that “repentance is the end”. Then I learned that “repentance” involves guilt, shame, remorse” and all kinds of things that made (and make) little sense to me spiritually, so I dove into the idea of repentance as it relates to my human experience. Now, through my experience, I realize that repentance is the Treatment #1 raised above, with forgiveness being Treatment #2. It has been my experience that you will not heal without first being injured and then forgiving the injury. Repentance is the suffering necessary to recognize the tumor, and forgiveness is the surgery that removes it. You cannot truly heal without going through both treatments.

So, we will eventually suffer for our “human stupidioitis” so that we can recognize the tumors. We will then have to forgive ourselves and heal. Perhaps the suffering will create an immunity to the disease, but so far that hasn’t been the case. I keep hoping that this will be the fever that gets us to the cure, but realize that we are so busy treating the symptom that the cause just keeps festering within us.

The good news here is that you can self-medicate and be cured.

For My Sister on My Birthday

July 14, 2011 / tomgrasso

I remember the silliness in her voice,
The wonderful innocence in her eyes,
The sweet sound of poetry in her youth,
The pleasant motion in her clumsiness.

I still can see her beautiful imperfections,
Those silent etches that were so a part of me,
Those brilliant moments of sweet unity that arose,
In those trying times of youthful inexperience.

Who could have known then, dear sister,
That today we would hardly know each other,
That after moments of sleeping by a single fan,
Of playing games of fantasy in our lonely desolation,
We would be so close and yet so far?

I remember many of those times,
When you were my partner in crime,
When I was your ringleader, and you were my patsy,
I remember many so many times when we laughed together,
When we cried together,
When we dreamed of what was to be.

I can still see your face when we were still in our single digits,
I can see your face in uncontested joy lit alive by
the beauty you had within.
I close my eyes and you are there, talking to me, being the butt of my jokes,
Of helping me create some moments of pure and tender joy.

I can still remember when you were my “face”,
When we shared punishment that never fit the crime,
When we relied on each other for some relief,
When you sought security behind my back,
When I sought approval in being your protector.

You will always be my sister,
And today on the anniversary of my birth, I will see you singing
“Happy Birthday” to me once again,
As I close my eyes and pray to see it once again,
And though our paths have parted for reasons still not clear to these aging eyes,
I can say that the love I felt in times gone past has never faded
Despite what words have been said and which sides have been chosen,
I will always be your older brother.

I do cry those silent tears of loss and insecurity,
As I am not sure what walls have been built and why.
Yet I am sure as I can see beyond that wall within my heart,
That it is as impermanent as the hands that built it strong,
And can only pray that I survive that final brick’s demise.

Peace and love to you…

I Died Yesterday…

July 8, 2011 / tomgrasso

…so, I decided to write my own eulogy today.

I was sort of thinking (this is what I call it when I am not formally meditating but kind of just being) when the topic of death arose in my mind. No, I am not a “morbid” kind of guy, but recently I have had a few friends and acquaintances pass on, and the issue of why we always seem to have nice things to say about someone AFTER they die came up in a casual conversation. I guess that conversation sparked something in my soul because as I sat in informal stillness something popped up in my head. Allow me to explain in detail as to why I feel it is necessary to write my own eulogy.

Why We Speak Kindly of Those Who Have Died

It dawned on me that we aren’t being hypocrites when we speak kindly of those who have passed away even if we disliked them when they were “alive”. Rather, it is an act of forgiveness. It seems to me as I review my experiences with this, that we are simply forgiving those who have passed for whatever sins they may have committed while alive. It’s a fundamental spiritual activity to me. When someone passes, something deep inside us takes hold and we instantly REMOVE those ideas of separation that once dominated our relationship with the now departed. Fear and ego lose their grip on our understanding, and the essence of love, which we call “forgiveness”, takes over.

Simply put, we want to Love, and in that desire we forgive. This isn’t a subconscious activity. Rather it is one that is much deeper, possibly within that which CREATES the subconscious. It is that part of us so deep we often lose sight of it; that part of us that creates all other parts of us. The soul, our Being, the Holy Spirit, God. Whatever you want to call it, it is there fully realized the moment you forgive even if you don’t know why you are doing the forgiving.

Of course, for most the ego takes over shortly afterward. It then suggests that you are being a hypocrite for being nice about someone you disliked while alive or, as most of us will, forget about those ideas of separation we created between us and the person we are eulogizing. The ego doesn’t want you to realize your True Self, so it judges you, calls you names, labels you so that you fall back in line. It’s the ego regaining control. Ignore it and bask in the light of YOU, the Forgiver, the Lover, the Peacemaker.

That leads me to why I want to write my own eulogy now.

My Eulogy, A Statement of Forgiveness

I know, many reading this were probably thinking that my writing my own eulogy was an exercise in ego. I needed it to state how great I am, how wonderful I am because, after all, eulogies are just that. Yet, I have much more sinister reasons in mind. At least my ego thinks so!

First, I consider a eulogy to be a statement of the forgiveness we offer those who have passed away. Yes, we need to forgive everyone in our lives because, frankly, we are wronged by everyone at some point in our journey whether we choose to admit it or not. At some point in our relationship we create a moment of separation, an idea that separates us from our beloved, from each other or from ourselves. It could be something from “damn, her dress is cut so low I can see her belly button from the top” to “why did I eat that ice cream”. It could be something much more serious, or something far more benign. Yet, it’s there, an idea by which we have created some separation.

When we eulogize someone, either in a formal setting or in a private conversation, we somehow forget those ideas of separation and gain an understanding of the Oneness that is the Truth. The affronts to our person are forgiven, and we focus on those things that truly matter. It’s a moment of transformation where fear dies and Love resurrects. The stone is rolled back and Love emanates from the cave. Focus on that moment, and know your True Self.

My eulogy begins as a method of removing my ideas of separation about myself so that, one day, others may be able to remove those ideas of separation they have about me as well. Not a bad premise, huh? So, in writing my own eulogy, I am forgiving myself. I am allowing Love to radiate and fear to fall away. It may be something we all want to do.

My Eulogy, A Statement of Intention

Secondly, when I eulogize others it is a pure statement of forgiveness. When I eulogize myself and bask in that glow of self-forgiveness, I am also issuing a statement of intention. I am stating a “higher vision of myself”, and it could become a physical manifestation of my spiritual intention.

See, my writing my own eulogy is a spiritual exercise designed to help me understand my higher vision of who I am and then put that vision into action so that I may enrich the world. Yes, I see my intention as that powerful. Also, it is not about what I have done, but how I want my Self to be seen when my time here is finally over. Even though I see my intention as that powerful, I understand it only gets its power when it is put into action.

For instance, if I say “Tom was a great father, a loving husband, and a helping hand to all who needed it”, aren’t I stating an intention that I was to be a great father, a loving husband and a helping hand to all who needed it? If that is my “higher vision of self”, aren’t I in fact stating to the Universe my intentions to be that higher vision? If I state, “Tom worked tirelessly to feed the hungry”, hadn’t I better start working to feed the hungry in order to make that statement true? See, my eulogy is NOT a statement of the past, or at least it shouldn’t be, it should be a statement of intention. Your eulogy of me, however, will be a statement of how my intentions became real within your perspective of forgiveness.

Putting my eulogy together reminded me of something. There are very few people who have achieved “greatness” who haven’t lived up to their eulogy. Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Jesus, Buddha (among others) all lived their eulogies and then some. They fulfilled their intention and in doing so became greatness among us. They so understood their intention and were so focused on working it that they became “great” people in the process. We all have that power, that ability, if only we would stop creating ideas that separate us from that power.

Using the Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Jesus and Buddha example, their ideas of separation (religion, for example) became irrelevant when perusing their intention. For example, even though Mother Teresa expressed moments of deep spiritual loss and blackness, she was living her intention which was, for all intents and purposes, her true spirituality. Remember this important component when writing your eulogy: Your eulogy should not be a statement of who you are, but what you intend to do. When I suggested that I was a “loving father”, I was not stating who I was, but rather what I did. In this exercise, “loving father” was a verb, not an adjective.

It’s (Almost) Never Too Late to be Great

Do me a favor. Inhale deeply. Now exhale fully. Do it again and repeat if necessary.

As long as you can do that simple exercise it is not too late to be great. Keep that in mind here. You don’t have to have books written about you or become a famous guru or spiritual master to be great. You need simply live out your highest vision of self, your intention, and the Universe will answer. It’s that simple. Want to work with children? Work with them. Want to feed the hungry? Feed them. Want to make a difference? Make a difference. State the intention, work the intention and become great in the process.

I do, however, have one qualifier. Your statement of intention and work should never be another’s burden. If YOU wish to clean up the street, then clean it up. Don’t send letters to your neighbors telling them THEY have to clean it up. If you start picking up trash, others may follow you in acting upon THEIR intention, but then it is theirs, not yours. You may even tell others you are going to do it, and suggest that they may help you, but that is where it should stop. If I want to feed the hungry, I can state the intention for others to hear, but I can’t force them into my intention in any way. It is mine, and they have their own. Period.

My eulogy should never read “forced others to feed the poor”. That is not a higher vision I have for myself!

Fortunately, I have time to do wha….

A bit of sarcasm here and I apologize for it. It was necessary to make my point. You don’t have time. You have now. Make it happen now, not tomorrow or next week. It should NOT be hard regardless of the issues your ego creates to keep you from your dream. If you LOVE that vision you have, then that love will smooth the waves and allow you to walk on water.

Remember, the ideas you plant in that mind of yours will lead you to your vision. What you think you are you are, and what you think I am I am until that moment when forgiveness happens. I trust you will make the right choice because you can’t help yourself. There is no wrong here except in the ideas I have created that make it wrong.

I would tell you to read my eulogy now but it is a private affair. Rather, I want you to see my eulogy in action. I am making it happen now, and it may take time for it to flow to you, but I assure you the words are meaningless compared to the action. Enjoy it, relish in it, and live it.

PEACE!

Transcending Differences Through Unconditional Love

June 30, 2011 / tomgrasso

The path we walk is divided by a fork, and we choose which path to take.

One one side is the path of ideas. On this path, we choose to be known and to know by the ideas we assign to whatever reality we have created. Color, creed, race, nationality, and ideology are used to determine value, worth and condition. Borders become a method of separation. Monetary status becomes a representation of worth and the measure of effort. This is the Path of Impermanence.

On the other side there is unconditional love. There are no borders. There is no color, creed or nationality. There is only the love you have for another human Being. You serve and are served, you give and you receive, and you do unto others as you would have them do unto you. You are guided by a much more permanent source of inspiration, and your measure of effort is not made by monetary success, but in the waves of love and alleviation of suffering you have left in your presence. This is the Path of Eternal Life.

The good news? The Path of Impermanence is, well, impermanent. You can leave it whenever you make the choice to do so. No words are necessary, you simply need to give in to that part of you where Unconditional Love resides.

Will you join me on that path? You need not be perfect. You need not share any ideology with me. You simply need to love thy neighbor, and you simply need to have a willingness to show it not with ideas and judgments, but in action.

Peace. ☮

Is Feeding Kids Fast “Food” Child Abuse?

June 27, 2011 / tomgrasso

I was recently blessed by a friend who shared with me an article on the ingredients found in the very popular McDonald’s chicken nugget. Now I am not one who desires to

Nope, no foam here!! (Source: NaturalNews.com)

stop anyone from doing anything to themselves, that is not my intention at all. I love freedom, and believe in my heart that we should all have the right to do to ourselves as we wish. It’s the “do unto others” thing that has me drawing the line.

You can read the article titled Anti-foaming agent found in Chicken McNuggets here. It’s informative and sheds some light on the hidden chemicals that we are calling “food” nowadays. As an Indian guru just told us at a seminar, “your body is not a trash can, so stop putting garbage in it!”

An Important Disclaimer

The intention I had for writing this was not for us to label each other as “abusers” or to pass judgment of any kind. Rather, I want the reader to understand this as distinctly personal and to have an “inner dialog” that leads to an outer dialog. If we can agree with the premise that what we feed our kids is an outward show of the love we have for them, then perhaps we can have the discussion on how we feed them.

This is not a cause to enact laws that label, but hopefully make the need for such laws unnecessary. By shining light on what may be some darkness, perhaps we can find an awareness that changes the effects of our behavior to date.

There is evidence that our dietary behaviors are harmful. There is evidence that our children are suffering under our current dietary behaviors and that we, as parents, are not identifying that evidence and changing those behaviors. As you read this, resist the urge to label yourself or others, and just take a look at the evidence and what it may mean in your life and in the lives of those you love.

America, the Land of Dichotomy

If you look at our society it is one of fat. This is odd because we seem to also have a fear of fat. We also have a fear of dying, which is odd because we also live in the unhealthy extreme that seems to suggest we can’t wait to die. We are a chemically dependent culture that also has a war being waged on chemical dependence; we support a drug culture while waging war on drug use. We complain loudly about the soaring costs of health care while doing very little to prevent needing it. So, as I read this article the dilemma I had was not of shutting down fast food made like these Chicken Nuggets, but on shutting down the effects this food has on our children. Individual adults have the freedom (in my mind) to eat, smoke, drink or do whatever they want as long as it does not directly effect anyone else including their children. It is a moral imperative of mine to ensure you can do what you want when you want it as long as it meets those parameters. So, stock up on fast food if you want. Eat three meals a day of sodium aluminum phosphate if you want. You will not only hear silence from me while doing it, you will get my support if someone else tries to stop you.

Yet when I look at the children of this nation suffering under the weight of fast food and its effects I wonder when to draw the line. If parents aren’t willing to stop feeding their

A Parent's Responsibility: "When I grow up, I want to be just like Mom!"

children this poison, is it society’s responsibility to stop them? Or have we, the society that fears fat while contemplating which Value Meal to order, simply unwilling to be hypocrites here? Are we unwilling to show our particular weakness to our children; the one that says “do as I say, not as I do because I am too weak to stop myself?” Or are we a society that is just incapable of giving the love to our children that we are unwilling to show to ourselves?

Remember, fast food is just not found at a local fast food restaurant. Look in the pantry…you may find a ton of fast food that escapes your awareness because YOU put it in the microwave and not some cook in a back room somewhere. Look at the ingredients on the package…is this something YOU would add to your child’s meal if YOU were making it from scratch? That answer will tell you plenty, and it will help you begin the dialog necessary to discover what our true values are.

Time to Talk

I am not bright enough to answer these questions, but I am bright enough to ask them. These are individual values at work here people, with the strength and morality of the individual shining through either on line at your local fast food joint on in the act of driving right past it. Yet it does seem the time is upon us to at least start to talk about these things. It’s time to discover what actually gets us to walk through the door knowing what we know. Is it arrogance? Is it ignorance? Is it a collective “addictive personality”? Is it laziness? Or is it just that we don’t really understand what we truly value?

Could we be just stating what we think others want to hear? That we want health? That we dislike being fat? Perhaps we are just saying those things because it sounds good and we think our neighbor, spouse, parent or child wants to hear them? Has a society that has a long held belief that peace is achievable through war simply just that good at fooling itself?

Regardless of your individual answer, the real question that we must pose to the collective is “what do we do about it?” It is time we all sit down in whatever configuration that works and have a respectful and dynamic dialog. Yes, I know, I may be dreaming that we could even begin on those simple terms, but we have to at least try to get things rolling, don’t we? We seem to have much more at stake here than just some quick meal that gives us the runs for a few days.

It’s OK to the FDA!

I, for one, can tell you that I do care about not only my children, but our children. I also can tell you that FDA approval of the junk in this “food” is meaningless to me. I trust the Taliban as much as I trust the FDA or USDA at this point. Their stamp of approval simply means “buyer beware” in my mind. Now, I don’t want to get all down on the FDA and USDA, but let’s just say that, in my opinion, if we had Kim Jung-Il administering our food protection programs I would feel equally at ease. Yet, I am not sure we should need these acronomized (my word) affronts to common sense in order to make the right choices. Do we really need processed meat to satisfy us? Do we really need deep fried vegetables to fill us up? Or are FDA and USDA approvals nothing more than the “rubber stamp” we need to make bad decisions? What motivates us, as individuals, to purchase and eat something we know is not good for us?

I suggest to you that our actions speak much louder about our intentions than do our words. I would also suggest to you that the arguments of “freedom” are invalid here. Again, I believe you should be able to put rat poison on a sandwich if you want ONLY if you are the only one going to eat it. The issue is not of choice for me, it is of protection. Our children honor us often by following our example, but if the Pied Piper would lead them into the sea, who should be there to stop them? If it is society’s responsibility to save children from harm when does that responsibility end? What defines abuse? Let’s leave that to part of the discussion, shall we?

Is Obesity Abusive?

Statistics from the Center for Disease Control seem to tell a horror story in the making. The most recent statistics available suggest that nearly 1 in 5 children and adolescents who live in the United States are obese. Even more startling, that is triple the rate only a generation ago! Today, for every 20 kids in a classroom, 4 of them are considered obese under federal guidelines. This doesn’t even address those that would be considered overweight by those guidelines. That’s a tremendous figure considering that human beings are rarely more active than they are when they are children, and these developmental years are vitally important for the adult they will become. If they are overweight and obese at this young age, what does that suggest for the majority of these children and their health as they head into adulthood?

Also, a recent report released by the Institute of Medicine on June 21 provides some horrifying statistics. The report states that rates of excess weight and obesity among U.S. children ages 2 to 5 have doubled since the 1980s, and that about 10 percent of children from infancy up to age 2 years and a little more than 20 percent of children ages 2 to 5 are overweight or obese! If those number don’t jump out at you, I don’t know what will.

The CDC also lists a variety of health risks for obese children. The website gives an overview that is pretty intense when you look at our limited understanding of what is to come.

Health risks now

Childhood obesity can have a harmful effect on the body in a variety of ways. Obese children are more likely to have–

High blood pressure and high cholesterol, which are risk factors for cardiovascular disease (CVD). In one study, 70% of obese children had at least one CVD risk factor, and 39% had two or more.²

Increased risk of impaired glucose tolerance, insulin resistance and type 2 diabetes.³

Breathing problems, such as sleep apnea, and asthma.^4,5

Joint problems and musculoskeletal discomfort.^4,6

Fatty liver disease, gallstones, and gastro-esophageal reflux (i.e., heartburn).^3,4

Obese children and adolescents have a greater risk of social and psychological problems, such as discrimination and poor self-esteem, which can continue into adulthood.^3,7,8

Health risks later

Obese children are more likely to become obese adults.^{9, 10, 11} Adult obesity is associated with a number of serious health conditions including heart disease, diabetes, and some cancers.¹²

If children are overweight, obesity in adulthood is likely to be more severe.¹³

References

Barlow SE and the Expert Committee. Expert committee recommendations regarding the prevention, assessment, and treatment of child and adolescent overweight and obesity: summary report. Pediatrics 2007;120 Supplement December 2007:S164—S192.

Freedman DS, Mei Z, Srinivasan SR, Berenson GS, Dietz WH. Cardiovascular risk factors and excess adiposity among overweight children and adolescents: the Bogalusa Heart Study. J Pediatr. 2007;150(1):12—17.e2.

Whitlock EP, Williams SB, Gold R, Smith PR, Shipman SA. Screening and interventions for childhood overweight: a summary of evidence for the US Preventive Services Task Force.Pediatrics. 2005;116(1):e125—144.

Han JC, Lawlor DA, Kimm SY. Childhood obesity. Lancet. May 15 2010;375(9727):1737—1748.

Sutherland ER. Obesity and asthma. Immunol Allergy Clin North Am. 2008;28(3):589—602, ix.

Taylor ED, Theim KR, Mirch MC, et al. Orthopedic complications of overweight in children and adolescents. Pediatrics. Jun 2006;117(6):2167—2174.

Dietz W. Health consequences of obesity in youth: Childhood predictors of adult disease.Pediatrics 1998;101:518—525.

Swartz MB and Puhl R. Childhood obesity: a societal problem to solve. Obesity Reviews 2003; 4(1):57—71.

Biro FM, Wien M. Childhood obesity and adult morbidities. Am J Clin Nutr. May 2010;91(5):1499S—1505S.

Whitaker RC, Wright JA, Pepe MS, Seidel KD, Dietz WH. Predicting obesity in young adulthood from childhood and parental obesity. N Engl J Med 1997;37(13):869—873.

Serdula MK, Ivery D, Coates RJ, Freedman DS. Williamson DF. Byers T. Do obese children become obese adults? A review of the literature. Prev Med 1993;22:167—177.

National Institutes of Health. Clinical Guidelines on the Identification, Evaluation, and Treatment of Overweight and Obesity in Adults: the Evidence Report. Bethesda, MD: National Institutes of Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; 1998.

Freedman DS, Khan LK, Dietz WH, Srinivasan SR, Berenson GS. Relationship of childhood overweight to coronary heart disease risk factors in adulthood: The Bogalusa Heart Study.Pediatrics 2001;108:712—718.

Seeing this, I am left to wonder what we as a society find permissible when it comes to the health of our children. Are behaviors that cause high blood pressure in children that are not only permitted by parents but are also encouraged a form of child abuse? Is a dietary regimen created by parents that fosters cardiovascular disease in children and major health complications later in life tantamount to a destructive parent/child relationship? Essentially, the question that keeps coming to my mind is whether or not we, as a society, have a responsibility to those children who are apparently unprotected in regards to their health. How do we, as a collective, look at ourselves in our twilight years as children begin to die before their parents because we neglected the importance of a healthy diet today?

Frankly, I simply am not sure what the answer is. I just know the answer we have now, which seems to be silence, is not working. Is it coincidence that our health and fitness are declining as our dependence on fast food seems to increase? I can’t say for sure at this point, but I can say for sure that we owe it to our children as a collective society to do much better by them.

A Time to Change?

The Tao te Ching says “First realize that you are sick; then you can move toward health.” It seems as if we are beginning to realize that we are sick, but I am often left to wonder if we are understanding why we are sick. If we set a table devoid of store-bought scientists and big-business nutritional “experts”, could we as a people develop an

It's time to change, the signs all say so!

understanding as to why we are the sickest and most drug-dependent society on the planet? Could we look at data that suggests that nations that are beginning to adopt our dietary habits are becoming sicker as well and see a correlation?

I hope so. I hope we can look at evidence ourselves without the bias of pre-paid science and big business propaganda and come to a conclusion that best suits us in relation to our discovered values. In the meantime, let’s see what we can do to protect our children from our fast food addiction, and stem the tide of poor health moving into younger generations. It is our responsibility, isn’t it? I sure hope so.

One final thing. The opinions here, unless stated otherwise, are mine and mine alone based on a certain amount of knowledge and a vast amount of experience. They are opinions only unless otherwise stated, and certainly are not meant to do anything but stimulate the common sense of those who find the time, energy and desire to read them. PEACE! 🙂

Lover’s Harmony

June 27, 2011 / tomgrasso

You are a whisper my dear,

Softly spoken in this moment’s ear,

A subtle song sung in perfect harmony.

Surrender my Angel now,

And forgive this sinner somehow,

And enjoy the sound of a Lover’s Symphony.

Do not at once lose your sight,

But please go blind as Angel’s might,

And see my canvas as through a Lover’s eyes.

Paint me, sketch me, or better still,

Do with me what you will,

Just love and let be this Lover’s Harmony.

A Conversation with Mike

June 25, 2011 / tomgrasso

Dad, guess who?

My 4 year old son, Mike, is a special kind of guy. First, he is my son, which makes him special regardless of how many spiritual teachings I hear to the contrary. Second, he seems to have his eyes wide open and his head on a swivel. His open eyes allow him to focus intently on any given topic, while the “head on a swivel” means that such intense focus comes in only short spans. Even though the attention is short, he absorbs nearly everything a 4 year old can in that brief moment of attention. The following is an excerpt from a pretty brief conversation we had; a conversation that made the student the teacher and the teacher, well, astounded.

We were driving to my daughter’s dance recital. The radio was off, giving us both time to talk to each other and to share the ride without distraction. This portion of the discussion went went something like this:

Mike: Dad, I want to go play tennis.

Me: Really Mike? Where’d you learn how to play tennis?

Mike: In my brain (he still pronounces his “r”s as “w”s, adding to the cuteness of his methodology).

Me: Wow, so you learned how to play tennis in your brain?

Mike: Yeah Dad, and I could kill you with the ball!

Me: Mike, why would you want to do that?

Ok, so not very spiritual and not very peaceful but that’s my Mike. A more sensitive boy you’ll never meet, even if he says he want to join the Army to “kill bad guys”. See, he

Before I slay you, did you order the pepperoni or the mushroom?

follows that statement with, “and I want to be a pizza delivery boy so I can help people get their food.” Needless to say I am not that concerned at this stage about him becoming a Special Operative who assassinates bad guys in between deliveries of a large cheese with mushrooms. One of those I can certainly see him doing as the kind of boy he is now. The other? Well let’s just say I don’t see high-powered rifles and black makeup in his future. Of course, I could be wrong.

So, to continue our conversation. As I mentioned, his head is on a swivel as we pass an exclusive country club. There are people putting on a green near the highway.

Mike: Dad, is that golf?

Me: Sure is Mike. You like golf?

Mike: When we are done at Gianna’s dance thing, can we go there to play golf?

Me: I don’t think so Bud. That is a club that only allows members, and your Dad doesn’t want to pay to be a member.

Mike: Can I pay then?

Me: Sure Mike. Go get a job and earn the money. Then, if you decide you want to use that money to pay for a membership you can.

Mike: Dad, can you get me a job?

Me: Depends. Do you have any skills?

Mike: I have lots of skills. I can go potty, I can put on my shoes, I can cut down trees, and I can pick flowers. I can talk to birdies too, watch…

(rolls down car window and draws that focus on a robin sitting on the curb next to the traffic light we are stopped at)

Mike: tweet tweet tweet…oops scared him away. Dad I can scare birds. Tweet tweet tweet!!

Me: Mike, those are some cool skills. What others do you have?

Mike: I told you I can cut down trees and flowers. (Laughs) I can’t cut down flowers Dad, but I can pick them. (I laugh because I know Mike would cry if he ever hurt a tree).

Me: Well, maybe soon you can get a job. Then you can earn money and decide how to use it.

Mike: Dad, can we get ice cream?

I bet you can't see me, can you?

I love that swivel. I used to have one until adulthood stole it from me. How can I get it back? I mean I wonder when I made life so difficult and stopped seeing it in such simple terms as my 4 year old son. When did I make life so difficult? Probably when I decided that I needed a car to get to dance recitals and kids to do the dancing. I guess in most aspects I would not trade any of my life for the short attention span and swivel my son now enjoys. No, now is his time to use those gifts, and my time to allow him to use them. Someday it will be much different for him, but his Dad will always remember a simpler time when Army men delivered pizzas in their spare time (or was it the other way around?). I will remember these special little moments that not only remind me of who I am, but also of a world long left behind. It will be moments like this when I fondly remember the boy who stopped chasing butterflies and started chasing dreams.

Peace.

Act (Not Ask) and You Shall Receive

June 23, 2011 / tomgrasso

Original photograph by Sandy Chase

I am sitting here, goose bumps covering my skin and tears welling up in my eyes. Each hair on my body is alive as if each is reaching for the sky while my body seems to be melting into the space beneath it. My breath is still slow, my heart content to beat in time with the rhythm that has pulsed through it. I am alone but not lonely. I am still but far from doing nothing. I am alive and I am aware even as the universe fades from view in eyes wide open.

Thus ends my midday meditation and for those of you who may not have experienced this I highly recommend it. It’s not the first time that I have been graced with such an explosion of emotion. Once, when I was about 14, I had such a tremendous experience while meditating that I stopped practicing until I could better understand the experience. In that moment I cried like a baby as a sense of love came cascading down from points all around me. I felt the room fade away as all that remained was the sense of love that filled the areas where intense pain once dwelled. Light filled darkness, and the unusual experience of joy filled my heart. Needless to say, I was not prepared to handle it.

I was not alone but I was lonely in my youth. I was a tortured soul if ever there was one, with parents who instilled such agreements in me as “I am not worthy” or “I am nothing”. They also created agreements for me that caused me to fear love, to fear commitment, to fear giving myself freely and to fear trusting in anything with a heartbeat. Yes, they drew up the contracts but it was me who readily agreed to sign them. I did not understand the latter part of that equation until after my children were born and love began to invade places I kept locked deep within me. Today, those places are becoming “public parks” where anyone can visit without a moment’s hesitation on my part.

It was not until recently that I decided those contracts must become null and void. Now, you just don’t cancel a contract with fear or anger. It just doesn’t work that way. Rather, you must replace those contracts with agreements that make them null and void. You don’t “ask” for release, you release yourself (action, by the way, is the purest form of asking). I’ll say that again, this time without the parentheses. Action is the purest form of asking. Perhaps, for those of you who don’t know me, this requires a bit of explanation using my patented analogies.

Say I want to have a successful business in landscaping and I am a very creative landscaper with many talents for the task. I sit in silent prayer asking the Universe (or God) to make my business successful. I do this for countless hours a day, several days a week for several weeks in a row. At the end of the practice, I look at my sales figures in total disbelief. “Zero sales!?,” I shout. “The universe must hate me. That law of attraction stuff is nothing but nonsense!!”

Source: Photobucket (username: eyeness)

I suggest that is simply not so. What you have truly done is ask the universe to make you successful at sitting still and praying, to which it replied “YES!” I have found in my experience that action is the only question the Universe actually understands. If I sit in a church somewhere and pray for world peace, and then leave the building and attack a person walking down the street, which request am I actually asking the Universe to meet? That answer seems relatively simple, and to me is one reason gurus like Gandhi said, “BE the change you wish to see in the world” and not “pray that the world changes”. Make sense? I can’t find anything else that is clearer spiritually.

Having this experience within me, I discovered that I cannot simply ask that an agreement with fear be nullified. I cannot ask for an end to loneliness while remaining in an empty room attached to a need for companionship. I cannot ask to be loved while continually spreading fear to those around me. I cannot ask to “see the light” while sitting on the basket that covers it. No, I must make other agreements and, in turn, ask the question correctly. I must walk out of my empty room toward a room filled with others (or lose my attachment to companionship) if I no longer want to be lonely. I must spread love if I want to see love in return. I must lift the cover if I wish to see the light under it. Action, therefore, is the question the Universe understands.

Now, back to the analogy. I ask the Universe to have a successful landscaping business not by praying for it, but rather by going out and doing a good job at a good value. I relish in my passion for it and it, in return, provides me with success. I have made an agreement with success by not only identifying my passion and talent but by putting that passion and talent in ACTION. To this, the Universe always says “YES!”

What Agreements Does the Universe Have With You? (source: NASA)

Once I discovered this truth a new reality was born for me. I have replaced the agreements I had with fear with new agreements with Love. I have replaced the agreements I had with anger with new agreements with joy. I have replaced the agreements I had with judgment with agreements with peace. Mostly, I have replaced agreements I had with death with new agreements I have with life. Amazing, huh? I have begun asking the questions correctly. I used to pray that I could become a writer. Now, I write. A prayer never once put a moment of inspiration through my fingers onto paper, actually typing them did. An agreement I had with a dream has been replaced with a new agreement I have with action. I have replaced asking with action and expecting with doing and have found a great new world in front of me.

Now, the goose bumps have subsided, and I can return to the rest of my passion-filled day. See, prayer may not get inspiration from fingers to paper, but it does get inspiration from Source to fingers. Prayer in itself is a question. Meditation is, after all, an action. The Universe always says “YES” to both, and anytime we believe it has failed what really has failed is our perception of what we have asked or what we have done. The Universe never fails, ever.

Be well, and prosper my dear friends. It’s all up to YOU.

Broken – A Conversation Between the Saint and the Sinner

June 16, 2011 / tomgrasso

The mind does not perceive what it does not know. What it does not know appears “broken” to it, it disagrees with the notion that others can experience things differently, see things differently or know things differently. The challenge is to be open to the experience, and accept it for what it is but never lose sight of the importance of Love in the process. Reactions are human and the physical manifestations of emotion. We are the sole (or soul) facilitator of how we choose to perceive others in their humanness.

“You are broken”

“I am.”

“You haven’t changed a bit.”

“So I have always been broken?”

“You have.”

“So, how do I fix myself?”

“You do as I say, act as I act, do as I do. That’s how.”

“And then I am no longer broken?”

“Right, you are then fixed.”

“So, you are not broken?”

“No, I am not. I am normal, I am right.”

“Oh.”

“Make sure you tell your shrink that is how I see you. You are far from fixed.”

“Ok, will you accept me and love me more when I am fixed?”

“I am not sure. I will still think you are broken until you proven to me you aren’t.”

“Um, OK. Will you tell me when you see me differently?”

“Maybe, but I don’t see it has ever happening. Others see you differently. You are happy when you are with them, you are miserable when you are with me.”

“Really? I don’t feel different when I am with you. Sure, I am with you longer, and live my life around you, but I don’t feel differently in my view of things when I am with you.”

“Well, that’s because you are broken. You smile when you are with them, you are mean when you are with me.”

“Am I mean all of the time, or just when I feel stressed, or aggravation, or overwhelmed, or upset?”

“No, it is all of the time. “

“Every single minute of every single day we are together I am miserable?”

“Yes.”

“Wow, I don’t feel miserable every single minute of every single day. Are you sure you are right?”

“Yes. I am normal. I am right. You are broken, and need to be fixed. Someday you will see that I am right, and you will see that you are the same broken boy you have always been.”

“But I feel peaceful and love when I am with you, even in those moments when I feel stressed and aggravated. Should I not express my emotions to you? Will that prove that I am fixed.”

“No, you simply should not have those emotions. Hiding them doesn’t help.”

“So, you never feel overwhelmed and stressed?”

“Sure I do. But that is different. Remember, I am normal, you are broken. Had you not been broken you would see the difference.”

“Oh, ok, I got it. I need to get normal.”

“Exactly”

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” — Rumi