Author: Tom (Page 32 of 71)

Though words rarely escape me, I sit here speechless at the thought of you. Words can be so hollow in the absence of expression. Intent can be so meaningless without your hand in mine, without your breath filling my lungs with joy.

Soon, in the blessed way it happens, something speaks to me. I hear your name in the conversation, as my heart beats your name and my soul allows the echo. Without hesitation my mind reacts. Hurry, my love, I need you. It’s been a lifetime since I’ve held you…

Through the years I’ve watched you. I’ve said I love you countless times to nothing but air, and I’ve cared for you in my heart in an endless stream of love and gratitude. I’ve marveled at your sharing, and sat mesmerized as your beautiful blue eyes cut right through my armor, and nestled nicely in my soul.

I’ve since shared the words my heart would have said to you back then, had I only knew you’d listen. I’ve told you of the visions where you’ve lived,  the spaces you had grown, and the music that you created in my world. I’ve colored landscapes with your beauty, found peace in knowing you exist, and felt empty in the moments you weren’t there. I’ve always felt your presence, and I’ve always felt your absence in the solitary trails, and lonely walks that took me to a space I’d sit alone, marveling in a view I always wished you could see.

I’d try to play in places where I could, find you in things that I could touch, failing each and every time. I’d believed that nothing was working out, even as my settled soul knew better. Taking another step along this journey was a success unto itself, and it never meant that the last footfall was a failure. It simply was necessary in my journey to you, my beloved, my soul’s forever partner.

That is where the magic happens. Human minds can distort the purest story, and can create shadows in even the most well-lit places. We pull the reins on horses that want to gallop, and hold back waters that wish to flow, simply from the fear of what could happen. We are creatures of fear, often hiding from the most wondrous events of our lives, often dying without having ever tasting the joys that loving recklessness can offer.

You and I have none of that. In your light, I shine, and in my light you beg yourself forward in the change. The perfection of our flow, the harmony of our magic, all conspiring with our desire to send us to our destiny. The way our thoughts, desires, and hopes have always matched speaks to a connection written in the stars. It cannot be ignored, and in our time it refused to be forgotten.

Lifetimes ago I met you, and here we are reuniting in the river of our lives. The current demands we hold each other tightly, and the waters require we never part. We’ll laugh in the calmest waters, and rise to hold each other steady when the rapids come. When I thirst you are my drink, and when you hunger I am the nourishment you seek. We have all we need in the river where we are, and all we seek remains within between the shorelines, where destined souls bathe each other in love, and shower each other in the desire only the truest lovers know.

That’s where we are, in the pureness of our sacred space, knowing we what we have always known. For years we’ve played apart, waiting for what would bring us together. That time has come, my love, never to cave to the follies of the mind, never to be apart again.

Together we bask in love, and in that shared realization the skies have opened, the waters have been warmed, and we swim in our trusted flow. There we will be, forever bathing in the beauty of our flow, and trusting in the places we will visit. If you wish to find us, just follow that river and watch us in our destiny.

I am, in love.

The winds are howling outside my window, their music echoing through the silent chambers where I write. The setting Sun paints its art upon the sky, as I watch the trees bend to the mercy of the gods. These days, these events, these moments, all so very clear, all made real in the reality of you.

Yes, I am in love.

In the madness of my lover’s mind, I want you close. I want to feel you in our space, touch you in this reality, hear you in the certain songs that make our evenings what they are. I want to write with you touching my wild places, resting in those sacred spaces I have saved for you, loving those wounds that only served to brings us together.

In the sanity of a man, I need you here. I need to feel you in my arms and smell your hair in our embrace. I need to feel you in my slumber, as our hands touch throughout the night. I need to sense you in my waking moment, kiss you in my morning sun, and see you embrace every space we call our home.

I am blessed, and I know. Together, we’ve thrown away our neighbor’s sanity for a special type of craziness. Together we’ve stood tall against the norms, and knelt to our heart’s desire. Together, we will dance into tomorrow, to own music, writing a story few can understand but all wish to tell.

We’ve waited for so long, together and apart, to be where we now stand. We’ve sat alone with thoughts of one another, conspiring with our Universe to one day speak our truth. We’ve come together, finally, speaking the same language in the same ways at the exact right time, with nothing but love and care and beautiful recognition in our hearts. We’ve fallen together, not like stars to an earthen grave, but more like eagles that dare fall to the heavens above.

The perfection of those moments, of those steps we’ve taken to this here and now, speak of sacred intentions a lifetime in the making. I have never been more sure, never felt so certain, and I have never wanted anything as much as I want you, here, now.

We’ve spent a lifetime searching for each other. Though there are challenges we shall face, we’ve already done the hard part. We’ve toiled in things, played in the rubble, tossed through sleepless nights and sometimes fell into the sand. Yet, we’ve continued on, finding our souls on lonely trails, falling in love with our hearts on tops of our own, tall mountains. We’ve survived, my love, for this very moment in time. We’ve continued onward to meet in this very space. Yes, we’ve already done the hard part, and though challenges may lie ahead, they are nothing compared to the purpose for which we’ve been brought together.

I am in love. With you.

I felt you coming before your arrival. I sensed you standing just on the other side of a great waterfall. I closed my eyes and plunged into those falls, and when I opened them you were there, looking for me too. That embrace, that moment when our souls recognized each other, was the very moment a universe was born.

There seems to be some rambling going on. I chuckle at the notion that a man in love can just ramble in the ecstasy. We stand here, one journey ending as another begins, knowing we’ll never look back on the moments before our two paths became one. I’ve heard you, baby, and I am here. I am not going anywhere.

Perhaps, now, for just a moment, silence. Feel this love power through the ether. Let it envelope you, hold you, care for you, as you stand next to me in our dreams.

I am here. Because. I am in love.

I see a flowered field, fed beautifully by the light rains of spring. There, the romance of butterflies and the lust of bees reign, and a moment of hope is born.

She is sitting there, carefully enjoying the scents around her, while listening intently on the nature around her. The softly bubbling brook behind her highlights the music in her heart, and suddenly I can see nothing else around her.

My gait becomes slower until, at last, I pause. My legs are not used to the stillness, and my chest is not used to the reminder.

“Breathe”.

She has stolen my breath, and with it the last vestiges of sanity.

There is nothing that separates us, save the wall of flowers so cleverly sent before me. I try to mark my path, seeking the divides between the randomness laid before me. She sees me, too, and begs me onward. Lovers sometimes meet that way.

The distance seems meaningless, inconsequential in the power of this moment. Yet, we need to bridge it. We know that space and time matter, yet not as much as the moment we have found. She calls to me, I answer, together we will find out way.

She stands. I smile, knowing finally I will not have to solve this thing along. Suddenly, my journey has become our journey. Suddenly, my steps have become our steps. “I am coming!” I hear her shout. “I’ll meet you there!” I shout back, not really knowing where “there” really is.

We carefully begin those steps, not wanting to destroy an ounce of the beauty all around us. It seems that nature responds in her way, as the flowers seems to part, the creatures seem to scurry, and the birds seem to tease us onward to our destiny. With each step, a flower kisses us gently, each moment forward provides a scent we will remember.

Finally…

Yes, finally, she is in my arms. We kiss, and suddenly the Sun feels warm. We embrace, and suddenly I feel the light again.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” she says, repeating the words echoing in my heart. I would never imagine such a beauty would be waiting for me, but I know her words were true.

“My love,” I reply, the words suddenly escaping my comprehension.  I need not speak, I can feel her reading them in my soul, and I find myself reading them in hers.

I don’t feel lonely much in my time alone. Aloneness has  given me the space to dive deep, to feel the essence of the power of my own intention. It has made me strong and, more importantly, showed me my own strength. Strength, I’ve learned, has little to do with muscles save one. It resides within your chest.

Aloneness is what has brought me to this meadow, and fear is what has kept me from it. Along the way I’ve met the fearful ones, those who wear the masks of something deep while bathing in something shallow. I’ve danced with those who are so consumed by their own darkness as to become lovers of it, desperately describing the light they have found. I’ve played in the shallows, looking for something more, my observations never a judgement of others, but more of an understanding of me.

Such was the gift of failure, the gift of emptiness. She was here, in my arms being strongly held, being protected from the eventuality of autumn. I could feel her own testament, her own gratitude in the wild footsteps she had taken, knowing in my arms is where she belongs.

She looked up at me, directly in my eyes. “Be damned the winter,” she whispered. “We are here.”