I ask myself this often, “Where am I being led?”
I was led to love her, even when I wasn’t sure I could. I was led to move to mountains even when it seemed impossible. I was led to survive things that I never thought I could.
So I ask myself this today. “Where am I being led?”
The Universe, I am told, always conspires to lead me to where I need to be. If I actually trust the sages who have foretold of such great fortune, should I pay attention to the happenings around me as a greater message than the fear I feel in them? At some point it seems I must put the lessons that experience and sages have offered to the test or risk continuing patterns that have never served me well. That is, after all, why I began consulting those sages to begin with.
So, perhaps I am being led back East. Certain things have happened that seem to suggest that is possible. While I am resisting that, I am also cognizant of the fact that what the Universe wants, it gets. If my purpose is back East, then my purpose must be met. Still, I am holding on to what got me here in the first place and the tremendous growth I’ve experienced since my first climb, my first hike, my first round of acclimating to altitude.
What draws me East is multifaceted. My tribe is there in abundance, and I miss those who have always had a great impact on my life and well-being. There is love. There is familiarity. There is experience.
What keeps me at the mountains’ doorstep is also multifaceted. I have a few souls I consider friends. There is nature, and a culture I’ve grown to love. There is also love here, albeit not as frequent in my presence as I’d like, she is still here occasionally and likely to experience the same type of growth I did. There is family.
My gut and heart are pulling me to where the Sun rises, while my logical mind and intellect are keeping me where the Sun sets. When I sit in meditation I hear the sounds of waves crashing and gulls singing. I feel a hand in mine. I feel life begun anew. I also hear the sounds of a spring thaw rushing down riverbeds longing for the purpose. I hear eagles calling my eyes skyward, and owls whispering in the pre-dawn darkness.
In my prayerful meditations I’ve asked for clarity. This morning a guide I met over the weekend, “Betty”, came to me. I asked her “Which direction should I go?” She replied, “When we first met, where were the mountains?”
“Behind us.”
“Exactly. Now do as I said. It’s time to have fun.”
Betty never said when I was supposed to do this so I figure it may be years ahead of me. Yet perhaps the message was clear. It will be happening. Yes, I met a guide and yes, her name is Betty. More on her at some other point when the time feels right. She also helped me with another challenge this morning. I’m glad I finally met her.
There are so many things about life and the living of it that may mystify, confound and scare us, one of which is a message that guides us into an unknown direction in a time of uncertainty in our lives. These times may present us with moments that end what we know but they may also give birth to moments that will, if we remain conscious during them, become what we know. I guess that is where faith and love come in.
I guess what I feel is that not one lesson, not one seminar, not one meditation matters if we don’t employ what we have learned into action. Wisdom is the application of experience, not the gaining of it. Courage is action in the realm of fear, not the absence of fear. Isn’t the best spiritual practice one of life born in the active stillness of meditation, in the active chaos of living, in the active art of loving someone in the pureness of truth? If I fail to act have I actually learned a thing in my spiritual work?
How many of us are inundated with signs only to ignore them with the questions those signs are intended to answer? I can only help but thinking that at some point our guides and the Universe will say “enough” and either we lose our gift or are forced to accept it.
Currently, the path forward only involves the action of observation and listening. Then I won’t miss that sign truck pulling in front of me, or that message from Betty reminding me of my purpose forward. Maybe that will keep me from a collision with a fixed object that leaves me k(no)w choice. Amazingly, Over the Hills and Far Away is playing on the radio right now. Thank you, Universe.
Mellow is the man who knows what he’s been missing
Many, many men can’t see the open road
Have a blessed day.