Goodbye…

Photo by Tom Grasso

“I am leaving you soon,” I said quietly. “I’m not sure when I’ll be back, but know you are forever in my heart.”

I kicked the sand at my feet, afraid to look at Her directly. She had been there for me during the toughest of times, and had given me peace during moments of shear terror. She had been my friend, my confidant, and my partner through some of the toughest moments of my life.

She always whispered softly to me, and always knew just what to say. She’d softly caress me when I was unsteady, and let me know when it was time to move. She’d listen without fear, answer without judgment, and always loved me with the best of who She was.

“My heart is happily breaking,” I went on. “I don’t want to leave, but know it’s time. I need to move on, and I need a new beginning.”

She just loved me, in Her usual patient way.

Little tears formed where She was kissing me. I watched them fall to the Earth, as in paying homage to the power of our connection, leaving a trail behind that seemed to be a reminder of the moments we had shared. Even tears, it seems, know when to move on.

I heard a gull sing loudly in the background, breaking the steadfast silence between us.

“I will visit you often in my dreams, and when I climb the rocky trail of my new adventure. I just wanted to share these last moments with you, these last few days of remembrance, these last few heartbeats with a part of me that will never leave.”

I saw the spot where I had once broken down, unsure of what was coming while being blinded by what had been. I saw the spots where we talked and walked together, sometimes silently, others with words spilling out of my soul like raindrops from a hurricane. I saw the spot where I once stumbled and fell, and where She did not laugh or hold me judged, but instead forgave me for my weakness and prodded me to keep going. Then there was the spot where I first saw Her, where I stood in awe at Her majesty, knowing fully that I had found my home.

Yet if there was one thing She had taught me is that nothing lasts forever. Even in the spots I held dear there was no evidence of my existence, no proof I’d ever come to visit. Now, it was time for me to vanish, too.

I think She always knew this day would come. She was a wise one, and I think She stood by me to get me to the place I always was destined to be. She picked me up to keep me going, listened to have me empty my soul, and healed me into a strength I never thought I’d see. So, I will always hold Her dear, me a part of Her, Her a part of me.

“Goodbye, and thank you.” Perhaps that was the only homage She needed to hear.