When I was but a wee lad (that’s the Irish in me), I faced some dark moments. Those moments created for me challenges that showed themselves as I became socially awkward and angry in my confusion. This was, of course, no more evident than in my school life.
The fact that I was having a very tough time was an understatement. Through it all, there appeared this tough old nun (I went to Catholic school) who was there for me in some of the darkest moments of my young life. Her name was Sister Assumpta, and although she was tough, I have yet to meet someone who provided unconditional love as she had me. In some ways, she was a savior, and she was there to do her best to guide me through a time when I felt utterly alone.
I wish to honor her and you with a story and an understanding. The story is one that she told me during one of my angry moments when I saw nothing but darkness around me. This moment was a harbinger of things to come, but in this instance, she was there to try to light a different, truer path. It is with tears in my eyes and love in my heart that I offer you this memory in honor of a loving woman who will live eternally in my Soul.
♥
A monk was walking besides a river swollen with torrential rains helping those in need. As he scanned the raging river, he noticed a scorpion struggling to stay atop a boulder. It was surely going to be swept away as the flood waters rose.
The monk noticed a tree near the river’s bank whose branches reached out above the scorpion. Without hesitation, the monk climbed the tree, shimmied across the branch, and reached out to grab the scorpion. A large crowd gathered to watch.
Each time the monk reached out, the scorpion would sting him. Still, the monk persisted until, after many, many tries, he was able to grab the scorpion and carry him to safety. The amazed crowd watched as the monk let the scorpion go, staggered, and fell at the base of the tree.
“Why would you kill yourself to save a scorpion?” someone in the crowd asked. “Surely you would know he would sting you and you would die!”
“Of course I did,” said the monk. “Yet just as it is the scorpion’s true nature is to sting when afraid, it is my true nature to serve in love. We were just being true to Who We Are.”
And with that the monk died, a free man true to his Self.
“Tommy,” she said, “don’t lose sight of who you are.”
♥
What Sister Assumpta was trying to tell a young boy who was losing himself in sadness, anger, and chaos was not to lose sight of my- true Self. Even then, I understood what she was trying to say, but at that stage of my life, I wasn’t sure who my true Self was. It seemed my true Self was the one getting me beat at home, teased at school, and in trouble at school. I simply did not have the tools or the experience to take that understanding and do something with it. Those few moments with Sister Assumpta were just not enough to stem the tide of the raging river within me. I eventually changed from being the monk to the scorpion. Yet, as fate would have it, the monk returned again.
I know now that there are moments when I will be the scorpion and others the monk. Some days I will be the raging river and others I will flow peacefully. Those experiences are “who I am” in this lifetime. What wisdom has shown me is that now I have a choice. I can choose fear or love, anger or peace. I can be the stinger or the savior with equal vigor. I can be hard on myself or accept my moments with the power I deserve.
In those moments when my ego roars and tries to return to the darkness of that scared, angry little boy, I see Sister Assumpta’s smiling face as she lovingly grabs my cheeks to share some light. Now, however, I can smile back and tell her, “Thank you. I understand, and I love you, too.”
See, the scorpion allowed the monk to be who he was in shining glory. “No greater love is there than when a person dies for his friend.” In return, the monk allowed the scorpion to be who it was. Both accepted and none sacrificed who they were for another.
Even when the scorpion decides to sting (we can be both the stinger and the stingee) I’ve learned gratitude in those moments and that there truly is nothing wrong with either. As my mind conjures up ideas about the way things should be I can accept my path toward happiness and stability. Anger doesn’t last long anymore, and the darkness shines to brightness easily as I get older. If Sister Assumpta tried to do anything, it would have been to shine a light for me to see, and I am eternally grateful to a woman who can still inspire a warm feeling of love within me decades later.
I hope this foray into memory and love had some meaning to you.