Ask

Do I stop this insane projection of what I think?
That which some will call “preaching”?
Do I hide such light under a basket or simply let it be
For others to read by or choose to ignore?

I ask God simply,
“Why do I have this need to speak”?
God’s reply was equally simple,
“You are.”

I have such need to breathe
Although I never asked for it.
I have such need for my soul to escape its bounds,
Although I never asked for it.
I long for silence, that I ask for…
Yet it does not come,
I am looking for it in the wrong place.

I am stuck with the noise,
Though I did not ask for it.
I am stuck with the memories of suffering past,
I did not ask for them.
I long for acceptance, that I ask for…
Yet it does not come,
I am looking for it in the wrong place.

The sun surely never asked to light the world,
Yet it does.
The earth surely never asked to be killed by us men,
Yet it is.
My mouth never asked to utter one word,
My hand never asked to write one phrase,
Yet it will.  Yet it does.

God says,
“Why do you question your purpose?”
I say, “because others tell me to”,
We laugh at the thought.
Does the earth question why it spins?
Does the moon question why it lights the night sky?
Do the stars ask why they define the void?
Perhaps not, they know no better.
They have not yet met those who do.

We tend to think purpose a constant.
Yet it seems to change like the seasons.
Somedays it is the purpose of the clouds to rain,
Others it is to snow.
So my purpose today may be to rain,
Tomorrow it may be to snow.
Next week it may be to just remind us of how much we love the sun.
Yet I cannot stop being a cloud,
Just as you cannot stop judging what I should be.

So this I say…
You may hate me for my words.
You may ignore me for my thoughts.
You may simply love me for who I am,
or seek to change me for who you are.
You may hold me for my warmth you see,
or shun me for all my cold you feel.
You may simply want me for what I am,
or turn your back on me for what you think.
Yet I will be…me.

Perhaps one moment I will be who you ask me to be.
Perhaps that moment I will not be who others need me to be.
Who has the right to complain in that moment?
I will not be you…I cannot be you
I must be me…
Is it selfish to breathe as I must?

Is the sun selfish to shine as it does?
I guess if you get warm from it it is not,
Yet if you allow yourself to be burnt it is.
The sun just shines…we create in it what we wish to see.

Are we selfish for expecting them to be different?
While we focus on speck in the eyes of others,
the beam in our own surely grows dark.
Are we selfish for Being?
Or are we selfish for expecting others to be
what we ask them to be?

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ